


My Only Escape

by LittleTinfoilDuck



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Abuse, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Humor, Art, College, Dreams, Drinking, F/F, F/M, Happy, M/M, Panic Attacks, Sad, Slowish build, Triggers, Work Together, aspiring artist, erens 18, except Erens mom, idk where I'm going with this, levis 21, not sure what to tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-25
Updated: 2016-04-18
Packaged: 2018-04-06 01:14:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 46
Words: 88,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4202334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleTinfoilDuck/pseuds/LittleTinfoilDuck
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren is an aspiring artist. Just finishing high school he still is unsure of what to do with his life. His mother who passed away always told Eren to follow his dreams while his father wants Eren to never go back to art again. Eren took away his wife whom he'd loved dearly so it's only fair to take away what Eren loves dearly. With art being unaloud in Erens life he has to sneak behind his fathers back to continue his passion. But his life turns around when Grisha finds out Eren didn't keep his word and has continued doing art all his life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Graduation

My head feels like my brain is in overdrive, yet I can't think of a single thought that I'm thinking...if that makes sense. I feel the need to punch or kick the nearest thing next to me, to scream at the top of my lungs just to drown out the override of useless thoughts occurring in my head. 

My name is Eren Yeager and I'm 18. Currently I'm doing my best to get through each day in order to see the next.

I've finally graduated high school grades barley scraping by. I'm not sure what I'm going to do with my future. My mother always told me to follow my dreams and my father wants me to follow in his foot steps and become a doctor. 

I am an aspiring artist my dream is to create art in which people can look at everyday. Art in which I can express my feelings. Take my jumbled brain and use paint to tell its story. 

I should probably mention my mother died when I was 14. It happened in a terrible car accident I'd rather not speak of. Now that she's gone my dreams won't ever become a reality. Words from my wise old pop, "artists are worthless and will never amount to anything."

I was basically banned from doing the one thing I loved most unless it was in private. Since it was 'my' fault that my mother died I had to be stripped of something I loved since I took away what my father loved. 

Each day is a struggle. 

Now that school is over I basically only have one summer to be with my friends before most of them part ways and go to college or university. I have faith in each one of them knowing they will be doing what makes them most happy. 

Mikasa, someone who is like a sister to me is going to school to become a police officer. And Armin one of the smartest, sweetest friends I have is going to school to become an engineer. Both following their dreams and I couldn't be more happy for them. 

This summer my goal is to at least get a job. I don't plan on going to school right away especially since I still live at home. I've always wanted to go to school into a great arts program yet while I still live under my dads roof the thought can't even cross my mind. 

Me and my dad are distant. The most words I say to him in a day is good morning and goodnight. The fact that he is always working when I'm always home doesn't help. I don't mind the distance, I just wish we could've become tighter when my mother passed away. Enough of these thoughts though. 

I sighed "mom, I miss you." After flopping back and forth in my bed for another hour or so I finally fell into a dreamless sleep.

\----------

I woke up to my alarm clock the next morning. My alarm clock. Why was it even set? Right graduation was today, the last time I'd see my classmates other then my closest friends. The last time I'd set foot in saint Maria secondary. 

I sat up in my bed stretching out each limb giving it the attention it needed in order to wake myself up. Because it wasn't a regular school day And only graduation I had to be at the school by 3:00. 

It was 8 in the morning and the only reasone I'd set my alarm early was because I'd promised Armin, Mikasa, Jean, and Marco I'd meet them at Armin's house to get ready so we could hang out a bit before hand. 

As I shuffled my way downstairs to get a drink of water and something to eat I saw my dad getting his shoes on and ready to leave. I gave him a tired "mornin" and he just nodded and left to work for the day. I honestly wouldn't be surprised if he didn't show up to my graduation. I told him last night when it was but I had a feeling he was going to 'forget'. 

I had my glass of water and grabbed and peeled an orange to take back upstairs with me. I ate it as I searched through my room for clothes to wear for the day and my suit to wear to grad so it at least looked like I cared. 

After I had packed my bag for Armin's I grabbed my clothes for the day and brought them with me to the bathroom. I took a quick shower seeing as I was being slow and it was already 9:30, I was supposed to be at Armin's house at 9. My friends expect to much from me; they should know 9 would be to early especially since during school I only had 2 classes in the afternoon yet I somehow always managed to be late.

I didn't bother to do to much to my hair other then attempting to comb it out which did nothing for me since my hair decided it liked to do what it wanted. 

Oh ya...did I mention I wore glasses? My glasses are my life literally. If I were to lose them I wouldn't be able to get anywhere without walking into 30 people, a pole, and falling face first into a deep ass puddle. 

Anyways I decided to opt out on my glasses for today for contacts instead. I normally wore my contacts instead only my glasses when I was running out of my prescribed contacts. Then I would have to wait at least a month before getting new ones because I was short on money and they were expensive. My dad wouldn't pay for them because he said I had to learn responsibility. I got an allowance of 30$ a week but only if I did all the house work inside and out. I had to save that up if I wanted contacts or anything else for that matter which is why I needed a job.

Now that my contacts were in I threw on my dark red skinny jeans and my black t shirt. I was sure to put my moms key necklace back around my neck and tucked into my shirt. It was 9:45 by the time I was ready and I had a million texts from the four I was supposed to meet up with. Most of the messages saying where the hell are you, well except for Marco who was much sweeter. 

I grabbed my suit and backpack with stuff for staying the night and slipped on my moccasins. Mikasa said they looked like old man shoes, I say they're comfortable therefore I win. 

Finally ready I got to the bus station to make my way to Armin's house it wasn't a long drive only about 10 minutes.

I didn't bother knocking on the door when I got there and as usual I opened the door and yelled out, "honey I'm HOMeE!" I heard Armin giggle from where they were sitting in his room and someone in which only I assumed was Jean speak.

"Took you fuckin long enough gayger." 

"Eat a dick horse face, oh wait you probably already have." Jean just glared at me while Mikasa chimed in.

"Shut up guys...today is our last official day at saint Maria's and we have finally graduated. So let's make the most out of it okay?" We just nodded and I sat down between Armin and Marco on the bed.

We hung out until about 1:00 when Mikasa said she had to go do her hair and makeup. While she did that we fucked around for a little longer and by 2:00 me, Armin, Marco, and Jean, decided to get ready to. We put on our suits fixed up our hair and then all of us were ready to leave. 

"Ok so we can all either ride with Mikasa or half with her and half with me." Jean said. 

Shit i didn't really think this one through. I was planning on just taking the bus back close to the school where it would drop me off and I'd only have a 5 minute walk there. I had a fear for riding in cars since I was 14. My friends all knew that they just seemed to forget too often. I guess the way my face paled and the way my hands started shaking reminded them. 

"Actually me and Eren were going to take the bus we will meet you guys there." Thank you my favourite coconut head. I calmed down and the rest of them nodded in agreement deciding to ride with Mikasa. 

Me and Armin got on the bus while the others were on the way to the school. Armin noticed me fidgeting in the bus seat and the way my eyes became glossy. It didn't just dawn on me it was something I've been thinking about all week. I was graduating and the most influential person in my life wasn't going to be there. 

"Hey Eren, what wrong?" 

"Nothing really I just wish mom was here is all." 

"She is you know. She will be watching you front row in heaven seeing you get that art scholarship I know you'll get!" I smiled and knew he was right. Wait. Art scholarship? I had completely forgotten scholarships were given away at grad. 

"Well we all know your going to get one for being the damned smartest person in the school." Armin smiled well more like smirked like he knew damn well he was gonna get one.

We finally got to school and grad was about to get started. We were all in our gowns and each of our names were being called up to get our diplomas. They went by last name so I was basically last. When they called my name I went up and noticed my dad did end up making it. That kind of made me happy we rarely got along yet he came to see me get my diploma. 

Awards and scholarships were being handed out now, which I basically zoned out the entire time since my grades were shit anyway. Until I heard my name. 

"This individual would have to be one of the most talented students I have ever had in my time at saint Maria's from the beginning to the end of high school. He has great potential and a great attitude towards all things in art class. He is someone who works harder then most and will always go above and beyond the class expectations to create something in which everyone enjoys. Today I would like to give this art award and 5,000 dollar scholarship to a student who is willing to continue their life towards something within the art industry. I would like to present this award to Eren Yeager." 

Armin gave me a playful punch in the shoulder while Jean shouted way to go bean pole. Which was a stupid name because I in fact had some muscle definition so he could eat shit. I was smiling from ear to ear. I had actually won something and for something I loved. I walked up on stage to receive the plaque and scholarship. But as I was up there I saw my dad in the crowd with an angry look on his face. Shit I had forgotten that he wasn't supposed to know that I continued to take art throughout high school, even though he said he'd disown me if I did. 

I quickly shook my teachers hand and got off of the stage. He was not going to be happy when I got home. By the time grad was over he was already gone. I was supposed to go back home with Armin but I told him I forgot I had plans with my dad. I just wanted to explain to him try and get him to understand me. He seemed proud that his son had finally graduated high school, I didn't want to ruin something we were slowly working towards by this one stupid thing. 

So saying good bye to my friends giving hugs out to my classmates even some teachers I got on the bus with my things and headed home.


	2. Stop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grisha finds Eren's art stuff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter moves kinda quick from like sad to happy...but I guess it's to show like good friends can make you forget about the bad shit happening in your life. I don't know if I described things enough but yeahhhh... anywho enjoy :))
> 
> Also if there are any painfully terrible mistakes let me know so I can fix it!

Climbing the few steps to my front door I repeat to myself over and over what I'm going to say. With a final breath I open the door, or at least I try to. The front door is locked which is unusual considering we rarely lock our door because of the small no theft community we live in. Everyone knows everyone and I guess you could say we all watch out for each other.

Sighing I walk to the back to see if the door was opened. With my luck it was and I stepped inside. It was eerily quite in the house and I had the feeling that I didn't belong here at the moment. That's until I heard a crashing sound come from upstairs.

Quickly I put down my things on the kitchen table and ran up. The noise was coming from my room and as I made my way inside I saw my dad in the middle, my things thrown around the room. 

"DAD! What are you doing?!" My dad snapped his head towards me and screamed out.

"Eren! where the fuck are you hiding it! Where is your filthy art things!" He had an evil look in his eye a look I haven't seen since they found the man that hit me and my mother in the accident. 

"I don't have any here. Only at school it's the only place I've ever done it." I trembled damn well knowing I was lying. I couldn't let him find my stuff he would no less throw it all away, throw my life away, and shit art stuff is expensive as hell.

"Fine you don't wanna tell me, guess I'm gonna have to keep looking." With that he turned his attention away from me and onto my room. He was ripping the draws out of my dresser. Not just opening them to search through it, literally pulling them out and throwing them across the room. He grabbed my mattress and threw it up to look under leaving it to lean on the wall. He then walked over to my desk, and now just out of a fit of rage swiped everything off of it forcefully moving the desk out of place, and my laptop, alarm clock and other random shit smashing to the ground. 

I was shouting for him to stop but he just seemed to block off my existence for the time being. He finally made his way over to my closet. The place where all my things were stashed in a box in the corner. He first threw all the clothes hanging off the rack then walked further into the closet. I cringed thinking to myself please don't find it please. 

Of course doing that wasn't going to solve anything and he pulled out the box. 

"You little shit. So you lied to me. Not just once but twice." His voice was overwhelmingly calm and I just knew it wasn't right. He pushed pass me and with the box in his arms made his way downstairs.

"What are you doing, what are you gonna do?!" I shouted to him as I followed him down the stairs. He didn't utter a single word.

"Dad please, you don't understand. It's the only thing that has gotten me through life. Since mom d-died I continued for her."

"Don't give me your bull shit excuses and don't bring your mother into this." With that he set the box on the kitchen table and opened it. He first grabbed out the pencils snapping them all making sure they were unusable. He then continued doing so to the pencil crayons, pastels, tried bending the markers and anything else he could possible break by force. 

"D-dad please, please stop." I hadn't realized I had started crying while I was begging for him to stop. 

"You selfish good for nothing kid. I didn't raise you to be going behind my back and lying to me. Your mother loved you she didn't raise you just so you could kill her, just so you could become something as useless as an artist. If I had it my way you would of never been born." His words were so harsh and he continued saying them as he emptied my art box pouring paint down the sink and ripping and burning my finished works that meant more then a few random strokes of my pencil or brush. 

My cries for him to stop just flew past his head and I couldn't control myself. He kept speaking harsh words and finally I had enough.

"FUCK YOU DAD! Mom didn't even love you and she would probably hate you more for taking away something that she always wanted me to do. She wanted me to follow my dreams and all you did was take away her dying wish!" I managed to say as much as I could screaming at the top of my lungs voice cracking between sobs. 

He stopped what he was doing. Dropping the papers in his hand and started walking towards me. "Don't you ever talk to me like that. Have more respect." Then out of no where too fast for myself to react he slapped me hard across the face, having me stumble a few feet to the right. I was shocked my dad has never raised a hand to me. My face stung and tears continued to flow out. 

"I want you to get out of my house." I stood there standing, shocked and just staring at him. 

"I said get the FUCK OUT! You can sleep outside tonight!" He walked to the door and whipped my shoes at me. I was scared. For the first time in my life I was afraid of my father. I didn't bother putting my shoes on and grabbed them instead quickly running out of the house and hearing the slam of the door behind me followed by the clicking of the lock. 

What am I supposed to do. Fuck. What am I supposed to do. I slipped on my shoes and decided to go for a walk to try and halt my tears before calling Armin and asking him to meet me at the bus station with a few bucks, since I didn't have my wallet but thankfully had my phone in my back pocket.

It was already dark out so there was rarely anyone outside just a lady walking her dog. After walking around the block a couple of times my tears finally managed to come to a stop and I called Armin.

The phone rang and finally a cheery voice answered. 

'Hey Eren what's up?' 

"Uh uhm do-do you think you could meet me at the bus station and I could come back to your place for the night. Can I also borrow some money for the bus I don't have my wallet."

'Whats the matter Eren? Is everything okay?' No.

"Ya it's all good just got in an argument with my dad and I don't feel like sticking around him tonight I just forgot my wallet, and well it would be awkward if I went back home."

'Ok ya no problem buddy. Marco, Jean, and Mikasa are here still. I will meet you at the station in about 10 minuets a bus leaves soon.'

"K thanks Armin"

'No problem. See ya soon.'

With that I hung up and made my way over to the bus station which was only about a 2 minute walk. 

After waiting awhile the bus finally got to me and Armin waved me on and handed the bus driver my fare. As soon as I took my seat beside Armin he looked me over and then gasped. 

"Eren! What happened to your face it's really red and a little swollen on the left side??" Shit.

"I will tell you when we get to your place I-I just need quiet right now." With that Armin nodded and payed attention to outside the window. 

Finally we got to his place and my three other friends were on the floor in Armin's room playing what looked like to be twister without a mat and falling over as me and Armin walked in. We didn't even bother asking what they were doing. They just laughed at each other and we all sat down in a not so circle circle. Armin kept looking at me expectantly waiting for me to explain to him why my face was red and swollen and probably why I argued with my dad. 

We just chatted with each other my friends knowing I would tell them when I was ready. 

"So Eren what do you think you're gonna do with that art scholarship?" Marco asked. I sucked in a sudden breath of air and after, trying to stop it a tear slid down my face. 

"Wait to go Marco you're supposed to be an angel and you made him cry." Jean said smacking the back of Marcos head. Marco just looked dumbfounded as he had no idea what he had said. 

"Eren. What's the matter." Mikasa spoke up scooting closer to me. I guess I should probably spill the beans now I couldn't just say nothing was wrong as they could quite clearly see something was. 

"My dad doesn't want me to have anything to do with art." A few more tears making an appearance and I struggled to continue. "When my dad saw I-I took art throughout high school and got that award and scholarship he was mad. He g-got mad because I lied to him. I always hid my art from him. When-when I got home my room was destroyed and he found my box of art supplies." 

By this time Mikasa had her hand on my knee and Armin let me lean my head down on his shoulder disregarding the tears falling onto him. Jean and Marco were just sitting on the floor listening intently. They knew art meant everything to me, especially since my marks were phenomenal in that class and shit in all my others. 

"He-he destroyed everything. Everything. My pencils, markers, paint, even my drawings." I shut my eyes tight and brought my head off of Armin and instead leaning over holding my face in my hands. After I took a few moments to calm down and stop most of the tears I continued. 

"We started yelling at each other he basically told me he wished I was never born and-and I said mom never loved him. He lost it and slapped me across the face and kicked me out for the night." 

"Shit that's tough. Your dad sounds like a jack ass." Jean spoke up. Jean was basically an asshole but he cared. Mikasa, Armin, and Marco said a few more words trying to soothe me which in a way worked as I was finally able to calm down mostly. 

 

We decided to take it easy for the rest of the night and throw a movie on Netflix. We all got comfortable in the living room with blankets and pillows and Armin made some popcorn. I'm glad I have such great friends I honestly don't know what'd I'd do without them. We decided on a horror movie and by the end I swear Armin was inside of me, I couldn't help but to laugh. 

Armin's grandpa who he lived with wasn't home tonight as he was out visiting a relative. So when we heard something fall from the kitchen you better believe we all shit our pants. Mikasa stood up pretending to be brave and walked into the kitchen. 

"See guys nothing." She then continued to open the cupboards saying here ghosty ghosty. When she got to the last one she opened it and screamed. 

Armin practically jumped inside my sweat shirt while Jean and Marco screamed and hugged each other like that would save them. I saw Mikasa smirk and started laughing. 

Mikasa joined in laughing and the three that practically pissed themselves glared at the both of us. Mikasa and I couldn't help it, we laughed so hard we could barley breath. It was nice being around friends who could make you laugh after having one of the most miserable nights ever. 

I stood up to go to the kitchen with Mikasa as we searched Armin's fridge for something to drink. He had an open concept house so sitting in the living room you could see the kitchen. 

"Guys. Guys come here quickly." Armin said in a shaky voice. 

"Armin you can't scare us sorry." I said with a chuckle.

"Seriously guys" Jean chimed in. "Something just walked by the window."

Me and Mikasa just smirked. We walked over to the window and I opened it. "Oh no look a monster please don't eat me." Me and Mikasa laughed. 

"Ha nice try gu-ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh" I screamed mid way through talking practically jumping in Mikasa's arms who had a look of terror on her face and we both basically fell to our asses behind the counter. 

Armin, Jean, and Marco started laughing hard. They laughed the way you do when you laugh to hard and no noise comes out. Still sitting on the floor Armin's grandpa walked in the back door into the kitchen with a mask in his hand chuckling. Ok I gotta admit he got us good. I'm guessing that's who the coconut head was texting the whole time. 

"Sorry kids I just couldn't deny the offer to scare the wits out of someone. I left my brothers house early cause he got sick and told Armin I'd be home and well this happened." Armin's grandpa said with a chuckle wiping a tear from his face. 

After the nights shenanigans were over we decided to hit the hay. Marco and Jean shared the big couch while I got the smaller one, and Mikasa and Armin shared his bed. 

Something that was a shitty night turned into something that wasn't to bad. I couldn't help but think of having to go home tomorrow. Would dad even let me in. Would he even be civil? Would everything go back to the way they were before? My mind was running and I just wanted to sleep. I guess I was tossing and turning and making a lot of noise because through the darkness and stillness I heard a sigh. 

"You know Yeager. It's gonna be alright. Seriously you'll get through this, just think you can leave your house soon and you'll be able to whatever the hell you want. Become the artist you damn well deserve to be." 

"Thanks Jean."

"Don't mention it gayger. Seriously." Of course he had to end a pleasant moment with that. I took my pillow and flung it to what I hoped was his head and not Marcos. 

"Ha thanks Yeager." Jean just grabbed the pillow and snuggled into it. Well that didn't work and Jean soon fell asleep. I was exhausted and 5 minutes later I was also sound asleep pillowless praying for my neck in the morning.


	3. First Job

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren gets his first job and Levi is introduced in this chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay another chapter :3 ...also I said in the first chapter Eren is 17 but it should be 18 since technically it would be past his birthday and he graduated so he is now 18...which I will go back and fix. Also I didn't mention before but there will probably be triggers in this fic so just fore warning now. And that should be all. Enjoy!

I woke up the next morning neck as stiff as a board. Well I guess you would say afternoon since it was 1:00pm. I noticed the couch beside me was empty so I assumed Marco and Jean were gone. I sat up and stretched my arms yawning throwing my blanket to the side of the couch. 

Armin walked into the kitchen with a smile on his face. "Good afternoon sleepy head. Marco and Jean went to work. And Mikasa went home to pack for that summer camp job she's starting tomorrow." Right she had been telling me about that like everyday the last week of school.

"Want some coffee?" I defiantly wasn't gonna turn down that offer and nodded my head with a big smile indicating, hell yes I did want coffee.

I walked into the kitchen and sat down waiting for a fresh pot to brew and Armin came and sat beside me.

"So Eren I was thinking, if you're still looking for a job I can help you make a resume today and we could go hand out a few." 

"Ya actually that would be great." I said with a small smile on my face. With that Armin stood up and went to get his laptop from his room. By the time he got back I already had a cup of coffee beside me waking myself up. 

Who knew making a resume could be so difficult when you rarely had any experience. We went through all the steps with not much filled out in the volunteer area and 0 to nothing in the work experience area. 

"Okay Eren, last part. Just gotta fill in some good...I guess you could say traits about yourself." 

"Simple. Just put awesome and that'll cover it all." Armin just hung his arms down by his side and looked at me with an eyebrow raised. 

"Ereeennnn seriouslyyy." That brought a small chuckle out of me. Finally we finished the resume and printed off about 10 so we would have some for the future if I didn't use them all. 

Armin lived right in the business part of town so we slipped on our shoes and just walked around. I handed out some resumes to gas stations, restaurants, bakery's and what not only leaving me with about 2 left. Just before me and Armin were about to call it a day we walked by a backdoor pizza shop which actually had a help wanted sign up. It wasn't on the main road but behind it one street over. So it probably didn't get much business which I would totally be okay with. 

It was old looking. Yellow paint covered the walls and the counters and doors were blue. It looked sorta run down on he outside but when you walked in it was the cleanest place I've ever seen. It was almost as if it had a permanent shine. And to accompany that the smell of the food was phenomenal. Armin was reading the menu on the back wall as I went up to the counter. 

"Hello! What can I do for you today?!" This person seemed way to excited to be at work. 

"Um ya I saw your help wanted sign outside and actually have a resume if you're still looking for someone." The person smiled even bigger then I thought was possible and took the resume from my hand. They scanned it for what seemed to be 10 seconds then said "Your hired! My name is Hanji boss number 2 here since I rank the same as the boss Erwin and we only have one other co-worker so we need all the help we can get. Do you think you could start tomorrow? Come in around 4?" I looked at her wide eyed. Did I really just get a job in no less then 30 seconds? Summer started so I had no schedule planned.

"Um ya I can be here by 4 tomorrow. Is there a dress code or anything?" Hanji just looked at me like I asked a dumb question. "Of course not wear whatever you want! Just bring your information so we can add you to the payroll."

"Ok thank you so much I will see you tomorrow." I was internally screaming! Now I won't have to rely on the shitty allowance I get every week. Hanji waved goodbye and Armin followed me out. 

"Oh my god Eren that's awesome! I'm so proud of you!" Armin gave me a crushing hug; ya know for a small fella he can be pretty strong. 

We got back to Armin's house and I figured it was about time I went home. I really just wished I could avoid it but I had to go back. Even if I didn't want to my wallet and clothes were there and I needed that. We said our goodbyes of course not without Armin asking me about a bajillion times if I was going to be alright. 

 

I finally got home and it was about 8 at night so I figured dad must have had a night shift at the hospital tonight which I was perfectly alright with. I jogged upstairs to my room to pick out clothes for tomorrow. I stood at my door way looking at the huge mess, how did I even forget about that. I groaned louder then necessary but who cares, no one was home anyway. 

I decided I should probably clean up my room. It was messy to begin with but before there wasn't drawers on the opposite side of the room and clean clothes flung half way to Africa.

I was almost done cleaning checking my laptop for cracks which thankfully it was all intact. Except for my alarm clock which was busted open. I choose a pair of black skinny jeans and a bright green shirt to wear to work tomorrow setting it out on my desk. 

By the time I was done it was about 11 and I was tired. I threw off my clothes except for my boxers and only put on a pj shirt. I had a nasty scar that went from my belly button to just under my left nipple. I didn't like to look at it, even though I'd be sleeping I might accidentally wake up and see it.

Tonight there was little to no tossing and turning and I fell asleep.

\--------------

"-om, mom! No! Please, MOM!" Terror washed over me and I sat up straight in bed. I was sweating and had a few tears that gathered in my eyes fall over. Fuck. I haven't had a nightmare for about a week. I thought they had finally stopped, leaving me to dreamless nights but nope was I wrong. 

I had to take a few minutes to get my breath back and compose myself. I was used to this so I generally knew how to calm myself down. I clicked on my phone and saw it was 12, which means dad is probably home by now.

I got out of bed bringing my clothes to the bathroom to take a shower. I took my time scrubbing every area of me till I was red. I got out and changed, today I would have to wear my glasses as I needed to put in an order for new contacts although I wouldn't get them for about 2 weeks since I won't have money till then. 

I starred at myself in the mirror for a little while scowling at my own reflection. I hated wearing my glasses, especially since it made me look more like my dad and right now I kind of hated the man. 

I was ready to go but since I had another 2 hours before I got on the bus I made my way down stairs to get something to eat. Dad was sitting at the kitchen table drinking coffee with the newspaper in his hand. I normally said good morning or hello to him but I decided I didn't feel like talking to him today. 

I walked past him and grabbed the milk out of the fridge and the cereal from the cupboard and poured myself a bowl. The tension in the air was thick and I felt awkward sitting at the table to eat my cereal. 

"Not even going to say hello." My dad peered up from his paper looking at me. Hell no I wasn't gonna say hello. My dads a jackass and I was stubborn so instead I decided to ignore him and keep eating. Slamming his hand onto the table he raised his voice, not quite yelling but frustrated. "Dammit Eren speak when your spoken to." 

He made me jump and I replied with a quick "sorry hi dad." And continued to eat just a little bit quicker. The rest of the time I sat there neither of us uttered a word. I put my bowl in the sink and quickly made my way upstairs to occupy myself waiting for 3:30 to roll around so I could catch the bus.

It was finally time to go, dad was gone to work I think and I headed to the bus station. Today was my first actual day of work so I hoped I didn't completely fuck up. 

 

I got to the pizza shop which was called wings of freedom and made my way inside. I walked up to the front counter not sure what I was supposed to be doing and instead of seeing Hanji I saw a short man with a surprisingly good looking undercut. He had on red skinny jeans, a black tank top, and boots that went up to about his shin that had to have at least an inch or two of height in them. He wore black eyeliner that suited him and made his silver eyes with just the slightest specks of blue stand out. He seemed to be a complete opposite of Hanji who was hyper and welcoming. He had an expressionless face in which almost seemed like a permanent glare. 

"Hi I'm Eren, um I'm supposed to be starting here today." He looked me up and down and finally spoke. 

"I'm Levi glad you could join this shit show of a place." I wasn't sure if he was joking or being serious so I just smiled. 

"Well brat come on back and I will give you the ins and outs of the place." I followed him into the back where there were two industrial sized ovens. A large metal counter in the middle of the place behind it on the left was the sub area and in front of it was where all the pizza toppings were. He showed me where the dough was and the frozen foods as well. I then followed him into the way back behind a small wall where a desk was with a chair in front and one on the side, and a couch behind it. 

"Why is there a couch back here?" I questioned because it kinda struck me as odd. 

"Hanji and Erwin are really social, we sometimes get a lot of people back here mostly when they're working and a couch seemed to be the best solution to fit all there fat asses." I just nodded I guess that made sense besides it was comfortable as hell so i wouldn't mind taking a break back here. 

Levi showed me how to make a lot of the food since it was busier then I thought it would be, and showed me how to prep a lot of the toppings. By the end of the night I was tired as hell who knew working at a pizza shop would be so tiring. Not me. 

 

It was 8:30 so we only had about an hour left before home time. Since it was now dead me and Levi sat in the back, me sitting on the couch and Levi at the desk. 

"So brat. What grade you in?" Levi asked spinning his chair around to face me.

"Actually I just graduated yesterday." Levi raised an eyebrow at that. 

"Hm I thought you were younger." 

Wow I thought I looked pretty old for my age ,but whatever he looked like he was only a year or two older then me. Probably because he was as tall as a garden nome "How old are you?" I had to ask. 

"21. And I swear to god if you say I look younger because I'm short I will shove my fist down your throat and out your ass." Damn garden nome had an attitude to say the least. 

The last 20 minutes of the night we cleaned up and I don't think I have cleaned harder in my life, and Levi taught me how to close the till. We were leaving the shop and I hadn't realized it started raining since I've been indoors all evening. Shit I had to walk to the bus stop which was about 10 min away and it was pouring, I'm gonna get drenched. I should of checked the weather before I left the house. Levi was already in his car and had it started up. 

I sighed and not even 2 steps into the rain I heard a shout. "Hey brat want a ride home." Ha no. 

I turned around and gave a quick simple answer. "No I'm good."

"Tch your gonna get drenched and sick kid. Just get in the car I'm not asking."

"Seriously Levi I'm fine." I started walking away and not a second later Levi was following beside me in his car, window rolled down slowly moving at my pace. 

"If you don't get in the car I'm gonna tell shitty glasses to fire you." Levi glared at me and I was already drenched from head to toe. Shit I can't lose my job, I just got it but I haven't been in a car for almost 2 years now; except for one time when we went out of town and that didn't work because we had to turn around and go home not even 5 minutes out. To make matters worse that day was a rainy one like today. The day that made me petrified to ever set foot in a car again. 

"Going once, going twice, thre-" 

"Fine! Fine." It took me all I had already trembling as I got into the car of course not without a garbage bag which Levi grabbed out of the console pulled over the seat. We weren't moving yet but I had to take deep breaths and closed my eyes telling myself it was okay. 

"-live. Earth to brat." Levi was snapping his fingers in front of my face. "Where do you live?" Right.

"223 Sina drive." Levi just nodded and pulled off the side of the road. I hadn't realized I was gripping the side of the door so tightly my knuckles were turning white until Levi asked if I was alright. I said I was but if we didn't get home soon I really did think I was gonna throw up. 

Other then that the ride was moving along smoothly until Levi slammed on the breaks as a light quickly turned red. Fuck. That threw me over the edge. I heard a loud buzzing in my ears and my chest was tightening. I couldn't breath and couldn't see or hear anything going on around me. Tears were falling down my face like a waterfall. Fuck fuck fuck. I grabbed at my chest hoping by some chance it would allow me to breath. Shit. Mom I fucked up. It was all my fault. I couldn't get the horrible images of that night, of my moms unmoving body out of my head. I heard horns beeping from behind us but chose to ignore them. Finally I noticed someone rubbing small circles into my back and a voice reached my ears. 

"Come on Eren breath. You need to breath." He was inhaling and exhaling loudly hoping I would catch on and breath with him. I noticed we were unmoving which is probably why horns were beeping. Levi looked concerned and after someone went around us and flipped off Levi he quickly pulled into the parking lot to our right. He shut down the car and refocused himself on me. 

"Eren you really need to breath just a little bit come on." Levi was holding my face and wiping away tears as they were falling. Fuck why am I so stupid why can't I get into a car without freaking out. Levi had his hand on my upper back high enough so he could brush the strands of hair that were long enough. I took a short breath and Levi looked instantly relieved. "That's it kid just a couple more." I shut my eyes tight and took in another shaky breath. One after the other I was able to breath enough to focus a little better. 

"Shit. I'm so stupid. I'm sor-sorry." I couldn't help but feel I put a burden on Levi having a panic attack in front of him after he was so nice to offer me a ride home. 

"Don't say you're sorry. You mind telling me why you freaked out?" There was a hint of curiosity and sadness in his voice. I didn't want to tell Levi exactly why I had freaked out so I just left him with a simple answer. 

"I have a really b-bad fear of cars." Levi then hopped out of the car disregarding the pouring rain and came to my side opening it. "Damn brat why didn't you tell me in the first place." He motioned for me to get out the car and told me to follow him. 

We went into the convenient store and he bought 2 umbrellas and I followed him back out. He handed me one and opened up the one he was holding. "You can take the bus right?" Levi asked and as I nodded he turned towards the sidewalk and started his way towards the station. 

I just stood there for a second shocked that he was being so nice to me. "You coming or you wanna stay here all night." I quickly realized I zoned out and popped open my umbrella catching up with Levi. 

"You know you don't have to walk me there." 

"Of course I do brat gotta make sure you're ok." Damn why did that make me blush? Maybe because some stranger I just met today was making sure I was ok? Ya that had to be it. 

"T-thank you seriously." Why did I stutter why did he make me stutter. He looked at me with eyes that were meant to be cold but I saw warmth in them. I shook my head clearing my thoughts. Before I knew it we were at the bus station.

"Just keep the umbrella brat. Make sure you always bring it to work with you, don't want a repeat of tonight." I nodded my head and muttered a quick but sincere thank you and he was walking back down the road towards his car. 

The bus pulled up about 5 minutes later and I hopped on handing the driver my money. I don't know why I don't have a pass yet I practically spend more then it would cost for a pass on bus fare. 

I got home and once again my dad wasn't there. Must've got stuck with a late shift again. It was 10:30 before I got settled in my room and decided to call it a night instead of playing on my phone like I usually do. The schedule at the pizza shop was already made which Levi said Hanji made as soon as she said I was hired. I worked tomorrow at 10 and I had a key to work as well since Levi told me some days I have to open on my own when my training is over. 

Levi is probably someone I wouldn't randomly approach if I were to see him any where else. Yet I am now his co-worker, and I'm kind of glad I met him. 

I know shit was bad at home since dad found out about my art but he wasn't home and I couldn't help but draw. I had mixed feelings at the moment I was feeling down because of the whole car situation but I was kinda happy that I got through a day of work. It was one of those nights where I needed to draw to clear my head, so I could relax and fall asleep easier. 

I pulled out my sketch book, pencil, and eraser from my extra pillows, pillow case since I hoped my dad wouldn't find it there and started to draw. I checked my phone and it had been about an hour. I had looked down at my drawing and realized I had been drawing Levi. I wanted to finish while his face was fresh in my mind but I was dozing off. I was lying on my side sketch book beside me so I could finish up some shading which ended up unfinished because I fell asleep with only thoughts of Levi now in my head.


	4. Now What

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren gets into it with his dad. Levi helps out Eren.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay another chapter! So there is abuse in this chapter but things of course will eventually get better :) I wanted to keep writing this chapter but figured I should probably end it before I ran out of things to write for the next one soo ya that is all. +_+

I woke up to the sound of my bedroom door swinging open and forcefully hitting the wall. The sound was so loud my heart practically jumped out of my chest. 

"Eren why are you still sleeping." My dad was standing at the doorway, well standing is kind of an overstatement it looked like he was about to tumble over at any second.

I sat up and rubbed my eyes checking my phone for the time. It was 5 in the morning...maybe that's why I was still sleeping. 

"Dad it's 5 in the morning. What you want?" I seriously just wanted to go back to bed get a few more hours before I had to get ready for work.

"I need your phone, gotta call someone left mine at the hopsital." Yup he was drunk. It's been a while since he has gotten drunk but when he did I liked to avoid him as much as possible. I leaned my head down for a second to rub my eyes again and grabbed my phone. I tossed it across the room but instead of my dad catching it, it hit him in the stomach and landed on the floor. He just stood swaying there, starring my way. 

"Uhh dad? You ok?" His fists clenched and he took a few steps forward. 

"Eren I let you off easy the first time and you went around my back and defied me again." What the hell was he talking abo-. Shit. I followed his eyes down to a spot in my bed where a sketchbook was laying open with an almost finished drawing. 

"D-dad it's not. I didn't mean to. Please don't." I was screwed. I did this to myself. I'm an idiot. I scooted back closer to the corner of my room still sitting in my bed. My dad walked closer and grabbed the sketchbook throwing it across the room. He leaned over my bed and grabbed me by my shirts collar and pulled me closer. His face was practically touching mine and he spoke through gritted teeth.

"You good for nothing kid, you deserve nothing but to be miserable in this world." His breath smelt of alcohol that was so overpowering I wanted to throw up. 

Just as I thought he was going to let go of me and walk away he did just the opposite. He gripped even tighter on my shirt and dragged me off of the bed. My legs could barley catch myself to stand as I was pulled off, but like that mattered because I was quickly thrown to the ground. I was lying beneath my dad who stumbled a few more steps forward so he was over top of me. Then just as soon as his leg went up it came crashing down into my stomach instantly causing me to gasp and desperately try to fill air into my lungs. I was clutching my stomach and curled up into a little ball to prevent him from kicking me in the same spot. 

"Maybe if you were actually good at art I might let you do it, but you're pathetic, you could never follow your mothers footsteps because you're just a piece of shit that murdered her." At that his foot came smashing down onto my side hitting my ribs. He left it there and continued putting pressure on it making the pain worse. 

"Dad p-please, please stop." Tears were now falling out of my eyes uncontrolled. All I could do was beg for him to stop. I couldn't fight back, I'm weak, why was this happening. I just heard my dad chuckle and after kicking me a few more times in the stomach and back he looked down at me. He didn't look like my father he had a crazy look in his eyes that made all my nightmares seem like a better place to be then here. 

"I don't ever want to see you pick up another pencil again you ignorant human being." Then with what looked like as much force as he could conjure up his foot came smashing down onto my hand. A loud crunch was heard followed by excruciating pain. He moved his foot around apparently not satisfied and after a few more cracks he smirked. He turned around to leave and on the way out spit at my sketch book which was lying just a few feet from the door and then left. 

My body felt like it was going to explode. Bursts of pain were travelling from front to back I didn't want to move. My hand hurt like a bitch I couldn't seem to even possibly think of something else at the moment because the pain was so overwhelming. I could already see purple and blue bruises cover my entire right hand and it defiantly did not look normal. My vision was blurry whether it was from the constant tears flowing out or from the unbearable pain I couldn't tell. Only minutes later did I hear my dads room door slam shut and the bed creak, assuming he went to bed.

Fuck. What am I supposed to do. I'm terrified. I've never been afraid of my father before. The other day when he slapped me, ya I was a bit scared but I thought we both got over it. Fuck I'm an idiot. Why did I leave out my sketchbook this is all my fault. I finally conjured up enough strength to get on my feet. I figured I should put some ice on my hand until I get it checked out or whatever. I stood up holding my right hand in my left and slowly made my way out of my room. I was being as quiet as possible to make sure I didn't wake my dad and walked down the hallway towards the stairs. Just as I was about to take a step down the first stair I heard a banging and a crash come from the kitchen followed by a few curses. When the hell did he wake up? I didn't even hear him leave his room. My mind was racing. I can't be here right now. What if he comes back to finish me off. 

I quickly went back to my room, well as fast as my feet would take me and softly closed my door. I grabbed my phone debating what to do. Should I call Armin? I can't call Mikasa she's not even in town anymore. I have no one else. I guess there was Jean or Marco but we weren't close enough. It was 6am by now but I didn't know what else to do. I quickly dialled Armin's number and waited for it to ring finally after about the fourth ring he picked up. 

"Ar-Armin are you home?"

'No I'm on the road had to leave early to go to my grandpas friends we promised we would help him move, but he lives like 8 hours away. You ok Eren?' Shit shit shit shit. 

"Uh ya Ar I'm fine it's ok I will see ya when you get home." 

'Ok Eren remember if you need anything I'm just a phone call away.' Armin didn't seem too convinced but he hung up after saying goodbye. 

There was no way in hell I was staying here for longer then I needed to but where the hell could I go. I heard my dad mumbling something to himself...well more like yelling considering he was downstairs and I could hear him. Something about me being useless and undeserving. I winced as a couple shots of pain flew from my hand down my arm. I heard my dad stumbling his way up the stairs my heart beating faster then I ever thought it could. I grabbed a small bag and threw things into it like my wallet, phone, work key, and other random stuff; well not necessarily throw since my right hand was currently out of commission. 

The door just a couple rooms down from mine slammed shut, which was most likely the bathroom. This was my chance I crept out of my room quickly making my way down the stairs, slipping my shoes on and making it out the front door. I don't know why but I jogged half way to the bus station not even looking back. I knew he wouldn't of followed me but I just needed to get away. 

I took a few minutes to compose myself. I sat on the edge of the sidewalk hand in my lap. Before I knew it tears were once again falling down my face. My dads words kept repeating in my head over and over like a tape on repeat. Why was I letting his words get to me maybe because he was right. I killed my mother. I will never be an artist like she was. Especially now since my hand was most definitely broken and God only knows what kind of damage was done to it. After a few more minutes of crying like the baby I was body shaking I wiped my tears away and walked the rest of the way to the bus station. 

I got on the bus and hadn't realized where I was till I got there. I was standing outside of the pizza shop where I now worked at 7:54 in the morning. No one was here because we didn't open up till 10 and for that I was glad. I probably shouldn't be doing this especially since I only worked here one day but I didn't know what else to do. I got my key out and unlocked the door. I didn't bother turning on the lights, just using my phone to guide me to the back where the couch was. I laid down doing my best not to bother the bruises forming all over my body. I closed my eyes trying to forget the pain in my hand and the words of my father and eventually exhaustion over took me and I was out. 

 

"Brat. Hey brat. Wake the fuck up." I opened my eyes to see Levi standing over me. Shit I had planned to wake up before 10 and pretend like I just got here, clearly that plan had failed. 

"Why the hell may I ask, are you sleeping on the couch." 

"Uh um I just got here a couple minutes ago since its almost 10 and I don't know how to open the till so I was waiting for you and guess I dozed off?" 

"Nice try kid but it's only 8:30, defiantly not almost 10." Shit I'm such a dumb ass. 

"O-oh. Well I-" my sentence was cut off interrupted by the shooting pains coming from my hand and multiple places over my body. 

"You gonna explain kid or do I have to tel-" Levi stopped mid sentence and looked down at my hand. 

"Shit brat. You okay?" I most defiantly was not ok but I just nodded since words decided they did not want to cooperate with me at the moment. Levi looked at me like I was an idiot and grabbed my arm to get a closer look at my hand. 

"Like hell you're ok. That hand looks broken you should probably go to the hospital. Get it checked out." I don't know why I didn't go earlier, I guess I wasn't thinking clearly plus I couldn't think of an excuse to give them when they asked what happened. 

"Seriously kid, you won't be able to work today especially if you're in pain." Dammit I needed to work. It was the only thing going good for me. Now that I'm unable to do art for at least a good while and that I don't ever want to step foot in my home again I just need this one stable thing in my life. 

"Here take this and we can take you to get your hand fixed up. What happened anyways?" I took the Advil and quickly thought of something to say.

"I uh got into a fight and one of them crushed my hand." Levi looked skeptical probably wondering where I was to get into a fight this early in the morning but he nodded anyway and grabbed his keys. He was walking towards the door until he stopped and face palmed himself. 

"Shit sorry kid forgot you hated cars. Well the hospital is literally down the road you think you're up for the walk?" Relieved he remembered I nodded and stood up following him out the door. 

"Why are you helping me?" Levi sighed and shrugged. "I don't know it's early, I'm bored, and anything that will get me out of doing morning prep work I'm all for." We kept walking in silence for about the rest of the way until Levi spoke up. 

"So even if they do let you out today in time for work how are you going to work with a broken right hand?" Right...I forgot at work you actually had to do things with your hands. 

"Uhhh I can work the till and answer the phone all day. Please. I need the money I will do anything!" I looked at Levi practically begging him to let me work. 

"Tch fine brat...but I don't want to hear you complaining if your hand starts to hurt." I smiled widely thanking him and we finally got to the hospital. 

We went to the emerge and Levi quickly filled out papers for me since my right hand was un functioning at the moment. It's not like it was anything personal just things like my name, birthday, allergies etc. finally after waiting about half an hour it was my turn to go in. Levi stayed in the waiting room doing just that. 

Surprisingly I didn't take long. The doctor taped a couple of my fingers together and put a splint over my hand which basically stopped any movement in my right hand. He also gave me painkillers for today and I had to pick a couple less stronger ones up at the pharmacy later. I also had to go in, in 2 weeks. If nothing healed I would have to get surgery and a cast. 

The painkillers hit me hard and fast. I was smiling from ear to ear when I got back to the waiting room and saw Levi standing up ready to go. 

"Heyyyyy Leviiiiiiiii when'd you get here?" 

"Hey brat I brought you here. The nurse told me they gave you pretty strong pain killers so you might feel a little loopy for a couple hours. Thank God I got stuck working with you today." That defiantly did not sound sarcastic at all. That didn't bother me at the moment though. I followed Levi out of the hospital and we started our walk back to the pizza shop. 

"Woah, woah Levi wait." I stopped in the middle of the sidewalk with a smirk and Levi turned to face me with a look of annoyance. 

"What is it brat." I starred at him leaning a bit closer to get a good look at his face.

"Your eyes are pretttttty but you look like you wanna murder mee." Levi just smirked barley and turned back around and kept walking. I think he started talking to me but I didn't hear since I was a couple meters behind, which he noticed because he stopped and started walking back my way. 

"Hey Levi have you ever seen a prettier fire hydrant before. Look how red it is it's like woahhh." Levi grabbed my wrist and started pulling me behind him the rest of the way to the shop. I guess it was time to open since he flipped the sign and put the money in the till.

"Ok kid just answer the phone I can deal with the till I don't want you giving away more money then needed since your fucking out of it and I don't feel like babysitting." I just nodded and walked to the back where the phone was sitting on the chair while Levi was prepping. 

I was starring intently at the phone as if my mind was telling it to ring and finally after what seemed like forever it did. 

"Hello." What was I supposed to say again?

'Is this wings of freedom?' Oh yaaaa

"Yes I think so who is this?" The person on the other line seemed very confused.

'Annie? Listen I just want to order.'

"Annieee hey what's up, do you want pizza?" By then the phone was being ripped out of my hand and Levi took the persons order who called. 

"Dammit Eren can you not even take an order? Just lie down on the couch get some sleep until you are capable of doing something helpful." 

"But Leviiiii I'm not tiredddd." That was a lie I don't know why it must be the painkillers but I felt as if I could pass out right then and there.

"I don't give a damn if you are tired or not but right now you're not being helpful." I pouted bigger then I ever could and sat down on the couch throwing my legs up. 

"Fine then shorty." Levi looked unimpressed and shoved my head down into the couch. 

"I suggest you just sleep or else that other hand will be broken too." I quickly nodded and before I knew it I was out. 

 

When I woke up the lights in the shop were out and Levi was sitting at the desk with the little tv on. I was more with it now and could actually comprehend what was going on. 

"Hey Levi what time is it?" He spun around on his chair stating it was 7 at night an hour after my shift would have ended. Whoops. 

"How you feeling brat?" I wanted to tell him I was feeling good. I wanted to say everything was fine and go home and come in, in a couple days for my next shift as if nothing ever happened. But I couldn't. Apparently I had different ideas. Sitting on the couch a tear fell down my face. More wanted to come out but I tried stopping them. 

"I-I feel like shit." Levi moved from his spot on his chair to beside me on the couch. 

"I know you just woke up, but you should probably go home and rest and pick up the rest of your medication tomorrow." No I can't go home, I can't what if dad is still home. More tears started falling from my eyes and I tried muffling my sobs with my hand. 

"Fuck. I'm sorry I can leave now. Sorry for making you stay here longer then you needed to." Levi looked worried and grabbed my shoulder keeping me from standing up. 

"You know what kid you can stay here tonight. I can just tell Hanji you had a rough night and to leave you be. She will be in tomorrow with me so I can handle her to an extent."

"S-seriously? You'd let me stay?" I managed to choke out those words. 

"Sure brat just don't burn the place down." I stopped the tears and thanked Levi as he grabbed his things and locked the door before leaving for the night. 

I honestly don't know how I got lucky with scoring this job. Whatever meds the hospital gave me made me really tired so although thoughts were racing in and out of my head I passed out curling into a blanket Levi must've left on me before he went home.


	5. Can my day get any better?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erens day continues to get worse by the second, but thankfully Levi is thee to help him out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay you get another chapter because I was bored *.*   
> So at the end of this chapter Levi might seem kinda OOC buuttt there is a reason of course :3 Also I love comments I just literally suck at replying but please they are very welcome!

"Don't you fucking dare." I woke up on the couch at the back of Wings of Freedom to an amusing sight. Levi was standing behind a closet door one of the ones with a bunch of cracks, and Hanji was on the other side with a shit eating grin holding a handful of flour. 

"I swear to God shitty glasses throw it and I will quit after I murder you." Levi spoke through the cracks of the door with the slight tone of a serial killer, well what I would assume a serial killer would sound like. 

I went to pull up my right hand to rub my eye and let out a quick gasp forgetting that it had been wrapped up. There was a constant pulsating and as I tried to sit up my body did not want to cooperate. It was as if every single kick that landed last night was increased ten fold. I settled for lying back down and pulling my hand down my face with a frustrated sigh. 

"EERENN! YOURE AWAKE!" Hanji came bounding over towards me tossing the handful of flour into the trash can and taking a seat in the chair in front of me. Levi wasn't far behind leaving his hiding spot from behind the door and leaning over the back of the couch. 

"Hey brat bout time you're up. How ya feeling?" I brushed the hair out of my eyes and starred at Levi who currently had no emotion except fuck you. If that were an emotion it would defiantly be Levi's. Not that it was directed at me I just think his face was stuck like that.

"I feel like shit actually. I gotta go pick up my meds though. Thanks a lot for letting me crash the night seriously." I once again attempted to sit up and finally not without a little help from Hanji I was sitting up right and throwing on my shoes which were beside the couch. 

"So Eren you have a shift tomorrow night if you think you will be feeling ok, if not just let me no we have lasted this long without an extra person I'm sure we can handle one more day!" Hanji smiled wide and I returned it with a smaller one. Eventually I got to my feet taking my time to get to the door because my legs felt a little sore and I didn't want to fall over. 

"Thanks again." I quickly called over my shoulder before heading out. It didn't take me long to get to the pharmacy to pick up my medication which I took as soon as I got it. I wasn't sure what I was going to do now to be honest. I could go to Armin's but I don't really feel like being questioned right now, plus for all I know he could still be out. I could visit Jean maybe but he is probably with Marco and well I don't really wanna get in between 'that'. I figured I would take my chances and go home if I saw the car in the parking lot I would just figure out what to do then. 

I made it to the bus stop...just as the bus pulled away. Damn who would've thought my day could've got any better. I sat down in the waiting area on the side of the road as there should be another bus within the next 20 minutes at least. 

I was scanning over the promo posters for a new movie release when i caught a glimpse of a piece of paper. Ok I think I may be cursed. The paper stated that the last bus would leave at approximately the same time the one I had missed left. Apparently the buses were getting mechanical check ups since they only get them about a couple times a year. I lived in a small enough area that it wasn't a big deal to do this every so often, but of course me being the dumb ass I am clearly didn't get the memo. 

I sat down on the bench and to everyone walking by I probably seemed like a crazy person. I was talking to myself basically saying how stupid and idiotic I was and then I started to laugh. This wasn't funny. It really wasn't. But I just sat there for a good 10 minutes laughing at my own misfortune. 

Then I started to cry. I felt like a 16 year old girl on her period who recently broke up with their boyfriend. Fuck me! I was angry, I was frustrated, I needed to punch something. I probably looked like a caged animal sitting then standing then pacing back and forth in the small bus cubical. I wanted to scream, pull out my hair, break a window. I couldn't handle this ...don't know how to handle this. I sat back down mind still running heart beating quickly. 

Then as if my body reacted without me even telling it to I smashed the wall of the glass cubicle in front of me. Some were plastic but a lot were still glass as they were switching them to avoid, well this. My feet went crashing through to the other side allowing the entire wall to burst and glass come pouring down. I just bent over my head in my hand crying. I couldn't comprehend what was happening around me. I saw a lot of people stopping and starring and then about 5 minutes later a cop car pulled up to the side. 

A man who was quite burly and had blond hair approached me with an even huger guy with brown hair crushing glass under their feet as they got to my side. "I'm officer Braun and this is officer Hoover. May I ask what happened here?" I just starred up at the two men eyes glossy and vision blurry from crying. My mind was racing 100 miles a minuet and I couldn't seem to let out any words. I just looked down at the ground and shrugged. 

"Ok sir well as we see it, you defiled public property so you are gonna have to come with us to the station. From there we can order things out." I continued to sit there as they starred at me I guess waiting for me to get up and follow them but I couldn't manage to lift myself up. 

"Listen kid you need to get in he back of the squad car like a good boy and that way we won't have to use any force." The blonde said with a douchey tone to his voice. I still didn't comply and officer Braun grabbed me by my arm and lifted me off the bench and to my feet. Instantly my other arm came swinging towards the officer and hitting his gut. 

"Shi-" before I could mutter a word the officer had me pinned against one of the still standing walls and cuffing my hands behind my back. 

"Hey take it easy Braun I don't think the kids all there." The taller cop seemed nicer and held my shoulder walking me towards the car. The car. I can't do this. I was put into the back seat and instantly I was panicking. I need to get out. At this point I didn't care what anyone thought. Tears were flowing out of my eyes and my body was shaking and heaving harshly. I couldn't breath. The car was moving and I couldn't think straight. Flashes of the accident were moving through my mind and I couldn't control myself. Officer Braun looked back and I think he told the other to stop the car. 

I couldn't tell whether we stopped or not, the last thing I remember is seeing the faces of the two men looking concerned before I passed out. 

 

When I came to I was lying on a bed in a jail cell which completely freaked me out. It was just one of the holding cells you get taken to for minor things so there was no one except me. I was exhausted and it took me a couple minuets to compose myself and try and figure out how the hell I got here. Walking myself through my day about 50 times I finally was able to remember what had happened. God I'm an idiot. 

One of the officers from earlier...the nicer one, Hoover I think it was came to the cell to speak with me. "Hey kid you passed out earlier so we got you checked by one of the doctors and they said you were fine so we brought you here. Basically what's gonna happen is you are getting a fine for destruction of public property and fighting an officer all you gotta do is pay that off and we're good. Other then that you are free to go but you need someone to come pick you up in order to leave." He unlocked the cell and walked down the hall insinuating for me to follow. We got to the phone and I panicked a little trying to figure out who to call. 

My first instinct was Armin so I dialled his number. The conversation was short but it basically ended with him telling me he was still out of town. Officer Hoover said I could make as many calls as I needed until I found someone so for that I was relieved. 

The last place I was gonna call was home. No way in hell was I even gonna consider it. So I then dialled Jeans number and once again was turned down as apparently he was at a party with Marco and both were apparently 'tipsy'. I checked the time in which it was only 8 and I had one last option. I dialled he number to wings of freedom crossing my fingers they were still open.

'Hello wings of freedom, what can I get you?' The voice sounded tired and bored.

"Levi?" I didn't really need to ask I could tell it was him but whatever.

'Ya...who's this?' 

"Uh it's Eren...I um was wondering if you would be able to do me a favour?" I spoke with just a little bit of nervousness considering I only knew him for 2 days and was now gonna ask him to pick me up at a police station.

'Damned brat. What do you want?' 

"Well...ya see I'm at the police station and I uh need someone to pick me up and I can't get a hold of any one else...so I was wonde-"

'I'll be there soon. It's dead here anyway so I'm closing up and Hanji already left. Don't go anywhere.' You could tell he was smirking through the phone with his last sentence. Because yes they are totally going to let me leave. Levi hung up and I told the officer who was picking me up. He nodded and just told me we would wait near the front and Levi would have to sign a few things before I could go. 

Not much longer Levi came striding into the building looking unimpressed. I met him at the front where he was signing some papers and as he finished I was walking by his side out the building. Just before I was about to speak up his hand came flying from behind me and he hit me upside the hide followed by a "what the hell is wrong with you."

I just lowered my head and searched the parking lot for his car. After awkwardly searching around the lot Levi finally said something. 

"My car is at home. I live in the apartments like 2 minuets away and I know you hate driving so I just dropped it off and walked here." I didn't realize it but I sighed pretty loud. "Also if you don't know the buses are all down until 1 am so you know...you better figure something out." Ha oh trust me I know. Well since I couldn't care less at this moment and had no other options i looked at Levi with a nervous smile. 

"Um do you think I could spend the night at your place, since well I have no where else to go." Levi looked at me more like glared at me for what seemed like an eternity but finally nodded. 

"Fine but I better get to hear why the hell you got stuck in a cell, also make a mess when we get to my place and you will be stuck in a funeral home next." 

"Fine." And we both began the short walk to his apartment.

Once we got there we took the elevator to the top floor and went through the door at the very end of the hall. As I walked in I swear I could see my reflection on the floor. Either Levi was a clean freak or he recently bleached the floors to wash away evidence of a murder. I took off my shoes as Levi did and placed them to the side. I followed him to the couch where he motioned for me to sit and as I did he walked to a closet and grabbed out a pillow and blanket throwing them on the couch with me. 

I got comfortable and Levi plopped down right next to me curiosity only shown in his eyes.

"Alright brat. Let's hear the story." I rolled my eyes and decided we'd go with something short and sweet.

"Well I smashed one of the walls of a bus cubicle and hit an officer when he grabbed me." Levi just looked at me with his blank expression.

"That's it?" I thought about it for a second then nodded. 

"Why did you smash the glass...?" Honestly I don't know.

"Uhhhh I guess I was angry?" That came out as more of a question then a statement. 

"Really? So you're a hot head then. I wouldn't have figured." Sarcasm was dripping from his voice. Rude. I never showed anger around him so he shouldn't judge when he is an emotionless midget. Whatever. 

"Yuup. Well I'm tired and really wanna go to sleep. Plus Hanji said I worked tomorrow so I mine as well get my rest now." Levi continued sitting on the end of the couch staring me down. He was kinda making me nervous to be honest. He didn't say anything for a good while and it was kind of creepy. He started scooting closer towards me so we were only inches apart. His expression changed to that of a softer one then both his arms raised and he wrapped them around me. 

My face was heating up and I'm sure it was as red as a tomato. It wasn't an intimate hug but a comforting one. "Take it easy kid ok?" He leaned back to look at me and continued.

"If you need anything just ask." With that Levi got up and walked to what I believe was his room. Ok so that was weird. Like what even just happened. I defiantly thought Levi was a cold hearted bastard but maybe I'm missing something. 

I felt safe as I wrapped myself up in the blanket and got comfortable lying down on the couch. My mind would wander to annoying thoughts about going home but then they would change and finally I fell asleep to thoughts of Levi.


	6. Three days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren has a nightmare and Levi helps him through it. After three days gone from home he finally hears from his dad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It has been a while since I updated...whoops. Anyways I actually have no clue where to go with this story but regardless of that I'm trying. Also Levi has a very small POV part in this chapter. :)

-I was sitting in my living room watching something on tv that didn't seem to interesting at all. Wait I was home, why am I home. Just then my mom walked in with a smile on her face carrying me a hot mug of something that smelt delicious. I was warm sitting on the couch and she came and sat beside me. Just as I thought everything was perfect the lights flashed and I was no longer home. I can hear myself screaming as I'm being taken away from a crushed up piece of metal. Blood. Blood is everywhere. Why is there so much. I am now sitting in the passenger seat as my mom drives me to my piano lessons. She simply turned her head towards me and smiled and said, "Eren why would you do this." Then all of a sudden with great impact her body went flying out the front window and I could see nothing but red.-

"Eren! Eren! Wake up!" I shot up half way between a strangled scream. Why did I have to have a nightmare at Levi's. I didn't want him to see me like this. My dream kept flashing into my vision and I tried closing my eyes tight then re opening them hoping to get a different image in my head. I was bent over and tugging at my own hair hoping to think of something, anything else. Levi was rubbing soft circles in my back trying to soothe me. "It's okay Eren, you're not alone it's okay." My stomach flipped and I jumped up off the couch racing to where I think Levi told me the bathroom was. I found it and instantly fell over the toilet wrenching out my guts emptying out absolutely nothing but bile as I had nothing to eat yesterday. I was dry heaving and it hurt like a bitch. I hadn't noticed Levi follow me in with somewhat of a worried expression on his face. I couldn't breath between heaves and tears began to pour from my eyes. I was straddling the toilet head laying down on the seat not even caring about cleanliness at the moment. My hands were fisting my shirt as if the shirt were suffocating me. It felt like I fell a thousand miles under water; you are about to use your last breath just before grazing the top, but you don't make it to the top and you're sinking again.

"Eren are you okay? That was a dumb question. Can you stand?" I managed to shake my head no. Tears were continuing to fall from my face. My limbs were numb I couldn't feel anything except for the growing pain in my chest whether it was from my heart breaking or my lungs constricting from not being able to breath. I couldn't see between the blurry mess my tears were causing and the growing blackness threatening my vision. "Hey Eren could you please breath, use those lungs of yours just like we did a couple days ago. Come on Eren I know you can do it." Levi's voice sounded almost shaky as if he was scared.

Between breathes I managed to struggle out a few words, "I'm so stupid, I-it was all m-my fault." Levi didn't say anything , instead he sighed and sat next to me pulling me into him. I started to catch my breath again but I couldn't stop the tears, soaking Levi's shirt. Who knew I was such a baby. Levi was rubbing my back, "shh don't cry Eren. The dream is over I'm here it will be okay." He kept repeating soothing words and eventually after who knows how long I fell asleep in his arms. 

I woke up feeling like shit in a room that defiantly wasn't mine. After scanning the room and wiping the sleep from my eyes I remembered I was at Levi's. Shit I can't believe he saw me like that, I won't blame him if he wants nothing to do with me after this. I got up from the bed and had a terrible taste in my mouth and my body was sore. I needed water or something to get rid of the awful taste so I got up and headed to the kitchen. 

I got to the kitchen with Levi no where in sight except for a note on the kitchen table.   
-Eren, I hope you're feeling better I called Hanji and told her I would be going into work for you today so don't worry about it. You can stay if you'd like just don't make a mess. Levi-  
Eren sighed in relief that he wouldn't have to confront Levi right away. He was scared of questions he might ask. After getting himself a glass of water and going to the bathroom I decided I would stay at Armin's house tonight. I knew he was going to be home because that's what he told me on the phone and I didn't feel like going home just yet. I know Levi said I could stay but I already felt like a burden so after leaving a quick note saying thanks for everything I left the apartment and headed to Armin's. 

Thankfully buses were up and running today as I took one to Armin's house. After a couple knocks Armin answered the door with a big smile on his face which quickly turned into a frown. "You look like shit." 

"Hello to you too. Can I come in." Armin stepped to the side motioning for me to go in. I walked to the living room and plopped down on the couch swinging my legs up on Armin as he sat next to me and let out a big sigh. 

"So do you care to explain why you look like you got hit by a semi truck?" Ya Armin I get it I look like trash. I let out another sign swinging my right hand up to pull down my face when I once again remembered it was wrapped up. I was really not used to this thing. Apparently Armin hadn't noticed it till now because his frown got even bigger. 

"Eren! Don't tell me you got into another fight." At least he would be easier to convince than   
Levi. "Uhh I didn't get into a fight?" Armin just threw his head back onto the couch letting out a puff of air. 

"Geez Eren I'm gone for one day and you get yourself into trouble, you're lucky Mikasa isn't home otherwise she would have kicked your ass double time." I just smirked at that comment because I knew it was true. I sat back up swinging my legs onto the ground. "Hey Ar I'm gonna take a shower mind if I borrow some of your clothes?" Of course he would say yes and I followed him to his room. He grabbed me a sweater that was too big for him and a pair of sweat pants since they would fit me better because he was smaller. I took a shower longer then I thought, if Armin knocking on the door asking if I was still alive hadn't snapped me out of my thoughts I would probably turn into a wrinkled up prune. Armin was my best friend so he could tell when I was having a bad day, so for the rest of the night we just watched tv until we both retired no questions asked. 

 

LEVI POV 

I was just getting home from working Eren's shift expecting him to be lounging on my couch. Instead I found a small note similar to my own resting on the kitchen table.   
-thank you Levi so much for everything. Seriously. I went to Armin's, so see you at my next shift. :) Eren- I couldn't help but smile the whole time I read through the note. I haven't known him long but he reminds me a lot of myself. He seems so fragile I can't bare not to help him. I wanted him to know I would be there for him. Ya it might seem weird since I've only known him a couple days but those couple of days sparked something inside of me. Eren sparked something inside of me. Whether it was the way his eyes shown a miraculous green practically ocean like, or the way when he'd smile you could see just the slightest dimple on his cheek. The way his long brown hair fell messily over his face and his clothing hugged his slim tall body. The list could go on but for whatever reason I didn't want Eren out of my sight, to tell the truth I'm kind of upset he decided to leave; now I only have to wait 3 days before I see his face again and I will be sure to give him my number, you know for work purposes.

 

EREN POV

I woke up to the sun rising and a dreamless sleep. I stretched out each limb a little sore because sleeping on a couch isn't exactly my thought of comfort. I got up and decided I would wake up Armin since I don't seem to hear or see him. I walk a little ways down the hall and peek through the crack he left in his door confirming he is asleep. Slowly with only one little creek I made it into his room. I walked up to him and poked his cheek a couple times. "Arminnn arminn psssttt wake uppp." He didn't even budge. I then changed from poking his cheek to pinching it, still no movement. I guess I should suspect it since he is such a heavy sleeper. Since my first two attempts weren't working I had one last trick up my sleeve. I got up on his bed standing beside him and ferociously started bouncing up and down screaming earthquake. Armin convulsed a little and sat right up looking around like a lost puppy. I stopped jumping and plopped down on my butt beside him with an evil grin. 

"Jerk." Armin was frowning and gave a soft punch to my shoulder. "I'm pretty sure my heart is now in my throat." I couldn't help but giggle, it worked like a charm every time I'm surprised he isn't used to it. I was starving at this point and Armin was getting dressed for the day.

"Hey Ar I'm gonna go make breakfast so hurry up." Armin just looked at me wide eyed and ran after me while still putting on his shirt. 

"No way. Last time you tried you almost burnt down the place."

"You start an egg on fire once and you never live it down." Armin looked at me eyebrow raised and hand on his hip. 

"Eren how the heck do you even start an egg on fire to begin with." I couldn't help to hold back a smile and walked back towards the living room while Armin cooked us up something. When he was finished I sat down beside him at the table mouth practically watering at the sight of bacon and eggs before digging in. Just about done our meal Armin spoke up. 

"So...Eren how did you start a fight this time especially to hurt your right hand! How long is it gonna take to heal? You know you have an art scholarship, it better heal before summer is up." Leave it to blondie to care. 

"Eh well I don't remember how the fight started to be honest but the doctor said it shouldn't be long to heal. Plus Ar...I'm not to sure I'm going to school next year, I don't know if I'm ready." Armin looked at me wide eyed and before he could say something his grandfather walked in from where he was outside. 

"Hey Eren...uhm how long have you been gone from home?" Shit they thought I was home last night before coming over. 

"Uhh well I don't know why?" God I really hope what he is gonna say next isn't what I think. 

"Well I just got off the phone with your dad he said he was worried sick about you. He said you told him you were going to a party and haven't been back in 3 days." Armin looked at me jaw unhinged. I just scratched the back of my neck and simply nodded. Dammit I couldn't tell if I was embarrassed because Armin's grandpa probably thinks I'm a bad kid or if I'm angry because the bastard is 'worried' about me.

"Well Eren I think you should be getting home really soon I told your dad you were here and you'd be home shortly." Shit shit shit. 

I got up from my seat and trudged my way over to the door slipping on my shoes. I don't think I ever want to go home. I smiled at Armin and gave him a quick wave. "Uh...ya sorry I will see you later Armin." 

Armin just face palmed himself and shook his head. "I better get an explanation later, see ya Eren." With that I made my way towards the bus station and home.

 

My hands were shaking as I walked up to the front door. It wasn't locked and I stepped inside not realizing I was holding my breath until I let out a huge air of relief when I didn't see my dad. I decided I just wanted to get to my room and feel safe until I would have to leave again. So quickly I moved up the stairs and just before I got to my room my dad comes out of his. 

"Oh Eren your home!" Ok something was very weird. "I was so worried about you I almost called the police." Ya except you didn't because you're the idiot that made me leave in the first place. Just before I could say some smart remark he walked up to me and gave me a bone crushing hug. What the hell is happening. I swear something is not right in this mans head, he is being way to nice. 

"Do you have something to say to me Eren?" He let go of me looking down on me waiting.

"Uhhm no?" What the hell was he expecting anyways...an apology? Was he really that messed up he brought himself to believe I left for three days after going to a party? 

He looked down on me now with his eyebrows practically touching each other and almost had a hysterical look on his face. "Really Eren!?" He threw his hands up in the air. "I really thought your mother taught you better, you don't like using your manners? Maybe that's why you killed her!" There's good ole dad nice to see he's back to his old self. "Just go to your room Eren I don't want to see your face." He practically spit and walked back into his room. 

When I went to my room it was still somewhat clean. It was one of those nights where you're bored out of your mind. You're exhausted. Your brain is exhausted. Everything about you is physically tired but your mind decides it wants to stay awake and go for a run. My thoughts started off with something simple, for example the hatred of my father. I thought about how delusional he has become. I knew he never really got over moms death, hell I haven't even gotten over it but he didn't have to be a jackass to his own son. I thought about mom for a while, thinking about whether she was watching down on me or not. I thought of her friendly smile and delicious baking I could always come to after school. Before my thoughts could turn dark I changed them once again. Tossing and turning in my bed I thought about how after I would save up a few cheques from my new job I would look for an apartment and get out of this house and maybe start to live a happier life. I then started to think of the colour grey, yet it was mixed with the most subtle hints of blue it made me want to paint my walls that colour. Along with that I started seeing the colour black and before I knew it Levi's face was in my head. His glare which I didn't see as so glare full because really even if he didn't smile you could tell by his eyes that he was happy or sad. 

I've only known Levi for a couple days but within those days he has seen some of the worst parts of me. That being how badly I panicked in cars and what my nights sometimes bring me. He didn't leave though he didn't call me weird, he helped me through it. I'm used to Armin or Mikasa helping me through a nightmare whether they were with me that night or I called them, yet Levi was different. Of course Mikasa and Armin showed they cared but when Levi held me through the night and told me everything was going to be okay he had a hint of not pity but sadness in his voice as if he has seen it before. 

Finally after God only knows how long I fell asleep, the image of raven hair and steely eyes occupying my mind.


	7. Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren decides to let loose for the night and goes to a party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while due to the fact that I didn't know what to write...anyways I had fun writing this chapter I probably could've went on and on about Eren's shenanigans but well idk Enjoyyyy :3

I woke up earlier then usual, I didn't work today and school was over so I would normally be asleep till at least one in the afternoon but it was 8:00am, and I had nothing but the ceiling to occupy me. I was trying to figure out what to do today. If I decided to go to Armin's I would without a doubt have to come up with some stupid story about a party I apparently went to and why I was away from home for so long. Quite frankly although I'm wonderful at making up stories I wasn't in the mood for that today. I already knew I wasn't staying home whether my father was at work or not I wasn't taking chances, so I finally decided on sending Jean a text.

To Horse face: Hey wanna hang out 2day I'm bored.

After my message was sent I decided to jump in the shower. I grabbed the clothes I would be wearing today (a grey long sleeve with thin black stripes and black skinny jeans) and a towel and headed to the bathroom. My dad was still home as I could hear obnoxious snores coming from his room so I was sure to be as quite as possible. 

After I finished up I got dressed and didn't bother brushing my hair as it would dry into whatever form it liked best eating the comb if I tried anything. I didn't realize till after I got into my room snores were no longer filling my ears. Damn... must mean he's awake. I jumped onto my bed and grabbed my phone to check it for messages.

From Horse face: You're up early...but ya come on over I ain't got nothing to do today either.

I sent back an ok and that I'd be heading his way soon then tucked my phone into my pocket. I grabbed my wallet off of my desk and shoved it into my other pocket and peeked out my door into the hallway, before quickly making my way downstairs trying to avoid the man sitting on the living room couch. Since I already blew it I figured I mine as well grab an apple or something from the kitchen before heading out. As I turned around to make my way to the front door my dad was already up making his way towards me. 

"Good morning Eren." He said as he stretched his arms above his head as he always did after waking up.

"'Mornin." I just wanted to get out of there. I was slipping on my shoes at the front door as he made his way over. 

"And where are you going so early in the morning Eren?" The way he said my name made my stomach flip. 

"Just to a friends." 

"What friend would that be, I like to know where you are make sure you're safe." Pfft ya right and of course being the dumb kid I was I had to open my mouth and make a dumb remark.

"Jean's, not like it matters you never cared before anyway, you'll probably be drunk by the time I'm home." Of course that was the wrong thing to say. I was already treading on thin ice so by opening my big mouth I broke it. My dad closed the remaining gap between us and grabbed me by the collar of my shirt pushing my body against the door. His face was inches away from mine and with every word he said spit came flying at me. 

"Eren Yeager don't talk to me like the disrespectful little shit you are." Veins were popping out in his neck and his face was turning red. I hadn't noticed I'd unconsciously grabbed the door handle waiting for a moment to escape. "Maybe if you weren't so irresponsible and hadn't managed to be such a waste of space and a fuck up I wouldn't have to drink myself to the point of forgetting you were even born." With that he shoved me even harder into the door then let go and walked upstairs with such force I thought he was going to fall through the floor. On shaky legs I managed to leave the house and head to the bus station and to jeans house.

 

Jean recently got an apartment on his own not long after high school let out. He was going to college in September and just decided he wanted his freedom. I also wasn't worried about him noticing my hand because we kinda had this secret deal. Neither of us ever commented on the others injuries since we both were always getting into fights. When I got to his apartment it was unlocked assuming he left it for me so I just walked in and collapsed on his living room couch face down. This morning was exhausting and I just needed to relax for 5 minutes. Jean came waltzing out of his bedroom and jumped on me crushing me half to death. 

"Jean. Get the fuck... Off of me." I managed to say as I was slowly being killed from lack of air. 

"Oh Yeager when'd you get here." He said as he smiled and got off of me. I pulled myself up and sat down normally on his couch glaring at him. He bounced in the spot next to me looking way to excited. "So...I got a text from Marco earlier and there is this party-." 

"Yes." I didn't even need to think about it I had a shitty last couple of days and I needed to just let go for a while. 

"I didn't even finish. It is a college party apparently these guys named Mike and Aurou host this every summer before school and it is supposed to be really big." Jean was definitely over excited and after he was done talking to me he just starred at me waiting.

"Like I said yes I wanna go...what time does it start?" 

"Starts at 9 and apparently lasts till the morning so be prepared Yeager we are gonna get our party on. Did you wanna ask Armin or anything?" 

"Naw he'd probably say no anyway." Sorry Jean I know you wanted alone time with Marco but at least until I get some drinks in me you're stuck with me. The rest of the day was pretty uneventful. We went out to have lunch and then went back out to have dinner since Jean clearly doesn't know how to do groceries and to be honest I don't think either of us can cook. By the time 8:30 rolled around we were heading towards this so called college party. Buses only went out about halfway to this place so me and Jean decided on walking. It would take us about half an hour but it wasn't a big deal, we could use the walk after eating so much take-out. 

It was about 5-9 by the time we got to the house and about twenty cars were already parked all around. The house was massive. It had to be at least three stories high and it had a deck on the lower and upper part of the house which wrapped around the back. I was starting to get a little nervous, as long as Jean didn't ditch me right away I'd be fine though. We got to the front door which had a sign saying come on in and tape over the door bell. So Jean and I both stepped into the house. I couldn't say much about the features except that it looked well kept. People were everywhere sitting in the couch, on the stairs, in the kitchen, dancing around the living room so I couldn't see much else of the house anyway. Jean spotted Marco and he grabbed me by the arm and pulled me over to where he was standing in the kitchen. 

"Jean! Eren! glad you guys came!" He was practically shouting over the music and had a big smile on his face his cheeks a little rosie from the alcohol I'm sure. He turned around and grabbed two beers from a big barrel looking thing and tossed them over to me and Jean. 

"So this party is pretty big." I tried making conversation through the noise because what else was I supposed to do, I didn't know anyone else here. Apparently neither of them heard me so I just decided to wave off what I said and turned around to look through the back sliding door to see the people talking around a huge pool. I went to turn back around half done my beer to talk to Jean and Marco. 

"Damn this place is huge-" of course. Why would I think Jean would stay with me he probably wandered off into the middle of all the sweaty people dancing to grind up on Marco. I decided to chug the rest of my beer and grab another from the barrel. Mine as well try to feel good since I've got nothing better to do. Practically chugging my second beer I tossed it into another bin where a bunch more empty cans were and grab another. I don't know how long I've been sitting by myself in the kitchen but by the time I checked my phone it was already ten and I had 6 beers down. I wasn't a light weight but I could defiantly feel the alcohol warming me up, in fact I think I was starting to get a little courage. 

I wandered to the other end of the kitchen where a guy announced a shot for shot contest. I think he said his name was Gunter not that it matters. 

"Who will defeat the king of shots this year! Any takers!?" He was standing on a chair holding a shot glass in the air shouting above the music. Everyone was giggling and looking around until for some reason may it be the alcohol or my boredom speaking I stepped up. 

"I'm in!" Gunter smiled and stepped off the chair setting up shot glasses on each end of the table taking a seat in one. With a grin on his face he cracked his knuckles and brought out vodka, tequila, and whiskey lining them up in the middle. "Alright kid you go first." After thinking about it I pointed to the vodka and a girl standing beside the table poured some in a shot glass for me and Gunter. I took the shot cringing a little at the taste and then Gunter took his no problem at all. 

"Easy." He said and smirked. He then pointed at the tequila and put up three fingers. The girl poured us each three shots of tequila and Gunter went first downing them all slamming the glass on the table after each. I eyed the glasses trying to decide if I really wanted tequila because that shit was nasty. 

"C'mon kid you gonna give up already?" Gunter said chuckling. Of course one thing I didn't like to do was lose. So I grabbed the shot and one after the other quickly drank them all wishing I had another drink to chase them with because the bitter taste stayed in my mouth. If I wasn't a little drunk before I defiantly was now. I was starting to get into the game and with a smirk I pointed at the whiskey and put up 5 fingers. Gunter raised an eyebrow as if wondering if I could really pull this off. Soon after the girl poured out shots, I knew it was a bad idea to get cocky. 

I took a deep breath and took the first two shots wiping my mouth. After a few more heavy breaths I downed the other three. "HA!" I slammed the shot glass on the table and starred at Gunter. He looked on edge but closed his eyes and then all at once took the 5 drinks. 

"Aight kid try me." He pointed at the vodka and put up six fingers. Six. Oh god there was no way I was gonna do this. Gunter smiled a drunk smile took three shots a breath then the other three. Ok my turn. After trying to focus on where the glasses were because due to my drunken haze it in fact looked like there were twelve shots instead of six, I finally gathered where they were and took the first three. 

I was so unfocused at this point I hadn't realized I'd been starring at the last three shots for awhile. "You done kid?" Who said that? I went to lean on the the table with my elbow but apparently the table wasn't where my eyes told me it was and I almost fell out of my chair if it weren't for the surrounding crowd to push me back up in it. Damn I was drunk. Wait I was playing a game wasn't I? I saw the remaining shot glasses and threw back the last three. Oh god this wasn't good. My stomach started flipping and I pulled my hand up to cover my mouth. 

"Uh oh he's gonna hurl." Some random kid shouted and everyone seemed to back up about 1000 feet. After a couple minuets I put my hand up saying I was done and everyone cheered as Gunter stood on his chair singing his own version of we are the champions. 

After everyone dispersed I decided to wander about which probably wasn't the best idea due to the fact that I couldn't walk five steps without having to stop and correct myself. I eventually wandered into the living room where a keg stand was set up and people were now surrounding that. 

"Hey kid nice game earlier how about a keg!?" Whoever was talking to me was way to excited and I was too drunk to turn down his offer. Two people grabbed my legs flipped me upside down and drinking away I went. I was put back down and Jean came over to me looking a bit worried. 

"Hey Eren how much did you drink you can barley walk." I just smiled at him and went to high five him but since he didn't put his hand up I high fived his face.

"I'm gonna take that as too much we should probably get going it's already 1am."

"No kin do jeany boy I'm havin' to mush funn." I left back towards the kitchen stumbling all the way and sat down at one of the bar stools in front of the island. At first I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me as I did have a lot to drink but after staring for a very long while I realized I had been in fact staring at Levi. 

"Oi kid what the hell are you staring at." He was waving his hand in front of my face finally bringing me back to the real world. 

"Starrin' atchur pree face." I was leaning my head in my hands trying to keep myself focused on the task at hand. 

"So I'm guessing you are very drunk." Levi looked at me with a smirk that I just couldn't take my eyes off of. I just waved over towards the living room. "Oh ya he drank but I don't know where he is." Levi gave me a weird expression as if I made no sense. I did make sense right? I was starting to get nervous at the fact that Levi didn't say anything in return so I hopped off the bar stool and headed towards the backyard. It took me about 20 seconds to realize there was a glass door in my way before I opened it and headed out. The music was even louder outside and I'm pretty sure there was triple the amount of people. I was making my way towards a lawn chair and after stumbling around for what felt like forever I finally tripped over an invisible 'rock' and face planted into the grass. A few chuckles were heard from behind me that if I wasn't drunk I would be so embarrassed right now. I was lying flat on the grass when I heard a tch coming from above me. 

"Get up brat were gonna look for your friend you should go home." Home I dint want to go home. I can't go home. I rolled over so I was sitting and finally what was probably all nights alcohol was churning in my stomach. I grabbed Levi's shirt to pull myself up and ran over to bushes that lined the back yard. Just as I made it there all the nights hard work came spilling out of me burning my throat. I threw up everything I drank and ate and more. I was just about ready to keel over when Levi came behind me throwing my arm over his shoulder practically dragging me inside the house. 

"Tch so disgusting brat. What's your friends name?" He was pulling me towards the living room stopping to look around. 

"Uh um Jean. Hair like you but uglier...2 colours." That was the best description he was gonna get out of me but apparently it was good enough because 2 seconds later I was being passed onto Jean and after I gave Levi a wink. Why did I do that? We headed out the front door. 

"Jesus Christ Eren can you at least try walking on your own you're fucken heavy." I unwrapped my arm from his shoulders and took two steps before stumbling to the side taking my ass to some strangers lawn. 

"Dammit Eren at this pace were gonna get back to my house in 2 days. Since when did you like to drink so much?" Heh since I decided I wanted to clear my head. 

"Sowwy Jeany boy." I stuck out my bottom lip and then laid back onto the grass.

"For Christ sakes get on my back asshole." I perked up and threw my hands in the air. 

"Yay horsie back ride!" I said with a wink and Jean sighed. 

"If you keep being a dumb ass you can sleep out here tonight." My eyes widened and I pretended to zip my lips. With that Jean turned around crouching down a bit as I jumped onto his back. 

"Damn fatass... we are only walking to the bus stop 10 min away and then taking it the rest of the way to my place. There is no way I can carry you all the way to the apartment." 

"Aye aye cap'n!" I shouted then saluted. After what felt like forever and me practically falling asleep we made it to the bus stop. Jean paid for me and him and we took it back to his place. Jean pretty well covering my mouth the whole way due to the fact that I tried talking to every person that got on the bus. 

We got back to his place and I made it all the way inside by myself without falling on my ass.   
"Alright we should probably go to sleep you're gonna have one hell of a hangover tomorrow man." He was defiantly not wrong. 

"But I don't wanna sleep! I'm hungry!" My mind was telling me to sleep my stomach was telling me to eat. "Fine sit at the kitchen table I will see what snacks I got." Jean turned around towards his cupboards on the hunt for something and before he could get back to me with any food I was passed out at the kitchen table.


	8. Levi POV:Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi's POV at the party. See's Eren and gets himself into some trouble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so I attempted Levi's POV. IT WAS SOO HARDDD .-. I don't even know... but it was good cause we get to see more into Levi's head so I will probably have more chapters in his POV here and there...this chapter is also kinda short cause like i said it was pretty hard to write but anywaysss ENJOY!

LEVI POV  
Hanji had invited me to some stupid college party which apparently happened once a year. Parties are not my thing, I generally don’t like being around drunk people to begin with. Hanji has been bugging me for two days to go to this stupid thing, she eventually sat outside the door of my apartment singing through the crack and consistently knocking until I finally gave in. I don’t even know why she is going to begin with she got out of college about two years ago, but it must be Moblit who invited her in the first place. It wasn’t weird or anything for me to show up since I was still going to school but like I said I’d rather be home cleaning then stuck around a bunch of disgusting people.

I decided to get ready in the afternoon since Hanji said she would be showing up at around 4 and we were going to hang out a bit beforehand. I already had a shower which lasted not as long as I would have wanted it to and I got dressed in my red skinny jeans and white V-neck. Hanji showed up at 4 and we went out to eat at some Japanese themed restaurant before heading to the party.

“LeVIIiiIiII this is gonna be sooo much fun!! I’m glad you decided to come!” Hanji was practically screaming as she was skipping around me towards my car. 

“Jesus Christ Hanji stop talking your voice is going to burst my ear drums.” We got to my car in the underground parking and headed to this so called mansion about 10 minutes into the country. We got there around 10 so we had to park quite a ways down the road because there were already tons of cars lined up. Making sure my doors were locked about five times we walked up to the front door. This house was gigantic and had a huge sign on the front saying come on in. As we stepped into the house it smelt like sweat from all the people dancing and smoke. I seriously hoped Hanji didn’t want to stay long. 

“C’mon Levi lets go get something to drink!” Hanji grabbed my hand and pulled me through the crowd into the kitchen. I took a seat at one of the bar stools while Hanji tried handing me a drink which I refused since I was driving.

“Your no fun Levi…I’m going to look for Moblit.” Hanji pouted then jumped off into the crowd of sweaty teenagers. I sat at the counter/table thing with a glass of water trying to listen in on people’s conversations over the loud ass music since I had nothing better to do. A group of girls were giggling talking about some boy one of them wanted to get lucky with. There was also a couple I assumed talking about heading upstairs probably to do the dirty. Not much longer I heard someone shouting about someone about to puke then some jock standing on the chair singing his own version of we are the champions. 

I feel like I’ve been sitting here forever and Hanji was nowhere to be seen I was thinking about leaving her, until a green eyed beauty took a seat across from me. Eren looked completely out of it and looked as if he was staring into my soul trying to read my thoughts. Finally after I’ve had quite enough of the starring I spoke up.

“Oi kid what the hell are you starring at?” He looked at me in awe and then smirked.

“Starrin’ atchur pree face.” Oh…he looked determined on focusing on the conversation, I wonder how that was working out for him, he was definitely drunk and I couldn’t help to let out a little smirk.

“So…I’m guessing you are very drunk?” As soon as I said that Eren didn’t take his eyes off of me and waved into the living room area where everyone was dancing. “Oh ya he drank but I don’t know where he is.” What the heck was he talking about? I didn’t say anything for a bit trying to comprehend what the hell he was trying to say before he got up and headed towards the back sliding door.

He wasn’t paying attention to me and I let out a couple snickers as he tried walking through the window a couple times before realizing he had to open the door to get outside. I decided to follow him since he didn’t seem very stable and I guess it’s good that I did because he face planted into the grass.

“Get up brat were gonna look for your friend you should go home.” He was too drunk and at that Eren’s eyes widened frantically looking around until grabbing my shirt to pull himself up and running to the bushes. He was throwing up probably everything he ate today and more until he finally stopped, looking ready to collapse. 

“Tch, so disgusting brat. Whats your friends name?” I aksed him as I threw his arm over my shoulder so I could keep him steady while walking back into the mansion.

"Uh um Jean. Hair like you but uglier...2 colours." Alright…after searching for about 5 minutes I spotted a guy that fit Eren’s description. 

“Hey are you Jean?” He looked at me and then at Eren with a sigh of relief. 

“Oh thank God…can’t leave this dumbass alone for 5 minutes without him disappearing. Anyways thanks.” I passed Eren over to the Jean guy and they headed out through the front door. Great. Once again I was alone. I spotted Hanji sitting on the couch with Moblit and a couple others so I decided to head back to the kitchen and claim the seat I’ve been sitting on all night. 

It was pretty damn late and it looked like Hanji had no intentions of leaving quite yet. Soon a couple of guys came up to me trying to get me to take shots with them which I tried to ‘politely’ refuse.

“C’mon man you don’t even look drunk, take some shots letttt looooose.” This guy along with his buddies looked like the typical jock. 

“That’s because I’m not drunk. I don’t want any of that shit.” 

“Don’t be such a party pooper c’mon shrimp take a few.” Another one of the jocks spoke up. 

“I need to drive so no. Now go away you testosterone filled apes.” Why did I even come? The jocks looked at each other raising their eyebrows as if they just all agreed on the same thing. Hopefully that was leaving. Was I wrong... 

There were four of them so I was at a disadvantage when two of them grabbed me by the arms and pulled me off of the stool. No. Please. My breathing was constricting and I was starting to shake.

“Let me the fuck go.” I tried kicking at one of them but each of my legs were grabbed by the remaining two apes. They were laughing as I was trying to struggle out of their grip. Fuck I can’t have a panic attack now. I was having flashbacks of my drunken father and I wanted to kill these fuckers. They started walking towards the sliding door and someone opened it for them. Fuck. I swear to God if they did what I thought they were going to do I would be beyond pissed off. 

“I swear to fucking God! Let me the fuck go!” I was still struggling to get out of their grip as they started walking towards the pool which nobody was in. Fuck me. They counted to three and I was in the air landing with a splash, the water slapping my back as I was thrown into the pool. Holding whatever breath I could gather before being dunked. Fucking shit. I came above water and people were laughing while some people were looking at me in shock and the jocks were having a grand ole’ time high fiving each other. I got out of the pool with a deadlier glare then the devil himself and headed inside. I am so fucking out. I was trying to stay composed as I headed to the couch grabbing Hanji by the arm who suddenly looked shocked and dragged her out of the house towards my car.

“Holy shit! LEVIII! What happened!?” She basically screamed into my water filled ear. 

“Fucking drunk assholes can go fucking rot in hell.” I grabbed a blanket from my trunk and threw it on the driver’s seat before getting in. Fuck my phone was in my pocket and my wallet. I took them out of my pocket and my phone definitely had water damage and my bills were all soggy and ripping. 

“fuck. Fuck. FUCK!” I punched the steering wheel letting the horn beep and Hanji didn’t say a word. 

“L-Levi. I’m sorry.” Hanji was quieter than usual and she put a hand on my shoulder.

“Ju-just don’t Hanji. It wasn’t even your fault.” 

“Ya but if I didn’t leave you all night this wouldn’t have happened.” Hanji looked sad and then she had a crazy angry look on her face.

“Who did it Levi?! I will personally hurt all of them just for you!” I just shook my head wiping my face dry on the blanket and headed home. 

I stopped outside of Hanji’s apartment. “You can stay here tonight if you want or I could go back to your place Levi. If you want...” 

“No its alright shitty glasses. I think I’m fine now.” She got out of the car and just before walking away poked her head through the window. 

“Hey, Levi! You don’t have to come into work tomorrow I can take over, just get some rest!” I just nodded and waved as she scurried off to her place and I headed home.

What a fucking night. I knew it was a bad idea to begin with. I felt dirty so I decided to jump into the shower and then change into some pj’s before heading to bed. Fuck people. This is why I’d rather be anti-social I thought as I fell into a deep slumber.


	9. Now What?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren gets into trouble, Levi finds Eren.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I can't help but make bad shit happen to Eren but I have my reasons! I swear! The bad will happen but something good will come out of it! O.o anywaysssss go at it!

I woke up the next morning on a couch with a headache making me feel like someone hit me with a sledge hammer and my stomach turning making me feel ready to throw up. Where was I again? I looked around and saw Jean in the kitchen making something. Right I'm at jeans...fuck my head pounded, I just want to go back to sleep. 

"Mornin' sunshine you look like a million bucks." I threw the blanket I had over my face sticking my hand out from under the covers and flipping Jean off. 

"Well that's no way to treat your wife! And after all I went through making you breakfast and making sure your ass fell asleep on the couch instead of the kitchen floor." I couldn't help but laugh at his stupid comment and pulled the blanket off.

"Your a weirdo...but what's for breakfast and where the hell is the Advil?" 

"Well I attempted to cook bacon but well...you can see for yourself. And I tried making eggs the kind where you dip your toast in but now they are scrambled." Jean frowned and kept pushing around the eggs in the frying pan. "And before you keel over and die Advil is in the bathroom cabinet." 

I sat up quickly which was the worst idea ever because I was pretty sure my brain was about to implode, but after that sensation passed I stood up making my way to the bathroom to swallow down a couple Advil to at least try and help me through my day. Before I left the bathroom I quickly glanced in the mirror realizing fuck I do look as shitty as I feel, and after pulling my hand down my face walked back out to the kitchen. 

After filling a plate with what Jean called breakfast and getting about half way through Jean looked at me and raised an eyebrow with a smirk. 

"What?" 

"So Eren who was the lovely raven who decided to come to your rescue last night?" 

"What the hell are you talking abo-." Oh. Oh shit. I could barley remember last night but I do remember Levi and him coaxing me through vomiting my guts out and helping me find Jean.

"Just someone I work with." I felt my cheeks heat up a bit. "Don't be so creepy...God." 

Jean smirked devilishly at me folding his hands together. "Mmhm you know Yeager the blushing and your face says otherwise. Personally I always thought you swung that way but you always said you were straight so I mean I guess I was right like always." 

"What the hell Jean. Seriously I just work with him, he's nice and all but uh I just don't see him any other way then my co-worker." I hate you Jean. 

"Ok then...but your not denying the fact that you're not as straight as you thought?" 

"What? No. Yes. Wait I don't know, can you just shut up I'm not having this conversation with you." Jean chuckled and I just shovelled down the rest of my food. I guess I did feel something for Levi, but I don't know it's too early to tell. For all I know it could just be because he was so nice to me. 

We both finished our breakfast and Jean went off to his room to change and I just laid back down on the couch still feeling pretty shitty. 

"Hey Eren, I gotta head to work feel free to stay longer but I will probably be back with Marco sooo...do what you want with that information." Jean winked and I just rolled my eyes and groaned something close to ya whatever and he left his apartment. 

 

I probably stayed for another 2 hours at his apartment, I did not want to be stuck here when he got home with Marco. Although Marco being the angel he is would've turned Jean down from their 'activities' and just hung out till I left. But then Jean would just kill me...so I left. 

As I was walking the not so short walk to the bus stop I stopped in at a coffee shop to get something to go and kept walking. On my walk I also saw a few art supply shops and God did that make me itch to draw something. But nope that isn't happening since my hand is still fucked up, although it does feel much better. 

I got to the bus stop and got a really uneasy feeling in my gut. I didn't want to go home but if I went to Armin's my dad would probably pull some stupid shit like last time...well I guess I did go to a party this time, but that's aside from the point. I would just go home and act like the perfect son and everything would be A ok. Yup it'll be all good. 

 

When I got home the house was quiet, and assuming the car along with my dads shoes were gone I was in the clear. I let out a sigh of relief and decided to order myself pizza since dad probably would be working overnight. I worked tomorrow at 10 so I would just sleep as much as possible till I had to leave, and bam I could avoid him like he is the plague. 

While I waited for the pizza I hopped into the shower quickly scrubbing myself down from yesterday's events and brushed my teeth double time. Just as I went downstairs as if on cue the pizza guy got here and I happily paid for my pizza with the money I made and went upstairs to watch Netflix on my laptop and eat pizza. 

About 5 episodes into my show I heard car doors slam in the drive way and a couple men laughing. I practically choked on my pizza throwing the box to the side and peeking through my room window. Dad was home with some pretty sketchy looking men. They defiantly weren't colleges from his work. There were three of them not counting my dad. One had long hair that looked like it went unbrushed for days, another had a really noticeable limp, and the last ones head was shaved and he had tattoos all over his arms. That's all I could really notice from up here but they were probably some weirdos he brought home from the bar where I guess he actually was. They were coming inside so I left my spot from the window and sat back on my bed trying not to make any noise. Maybe he won't even know I'm home. 

"So." I heard one of the men speak from downstairs. "Grisha where is this son of yours?" Oh no. No no no no no no no. 

"We made a deal, drugs first then you can do whatever the hell you want." That was my dads voice. Giving up his only son for fucking drugs. My legs were shaking and I couldn't move. I don't know what to do, how do I get out, what the absolute fuck is wrong with him! 

I heard a couple more mumbles that I couldn't quite make out and then people coming up the stairs. Fuck no, shit shit shit. I looked around my room trying to find an escape route or even a weapon. The window. That was my only chance. It was pretty high up and I would get hurt but it would be better then whatever the hell they wanted to do. I jumped on my bed sliding open the window and kicking out the screen. Fuck this was high up. I was sitting on the window ledge debating if I really wanted to do this when my door swung open and the three men were charging inside. 

"The fuck do you think you're going?" The man with the limp snarled my way. 

Yup I was gonna jump I shut my eyes and jumped from the window. When I landed it wasn't exactly soft. I tried landing on my feet, stupid idea because my legs gave out and my knee smashed the ground and I tumbled forward. My knee was throbbing and when I tried to get up it felt like someone was stabbing me in the same spot with a knife over and over again. I had to get out of here they would no doubt come after me. I managed to hop on my good leg and limped my way to the bushes, diving in and holding my breath. 

"Where'd the little fucker go!" I heard one of the men shout followed by more foot steps around the front door. 

"Deals off Grisha stupid kid escaped." One of them yelled into the front door. After about another probably 5 minutes I heard them all get into a car and zoom off down the road, well everyone except for probably my dad. 

I was still lying in the bush too scared and in to much pain to move. This was the better option right? Jumping out the window? Who knows what those men would've done to me? My knee was throbbing and it was burning and I just wanted to get out of there. Tears started filling my eyes and I just couldn't stop once they started. Whether it was from the excruciating pain I felt in my knee or from the absolute terror I felt or maybe the way my dad could just sell out his own son for drugs. It was probably all to be honest.

I don't know how long I was lying here for but it started to get light out. I probably looked like a mess but I had to get out of the damn bushes before something decided to crawl in my ear and make freaking babies. So I sat up and pushed my self up using my good leg. I quickly looked myself over and saw that I had grass stains all over my clothes and my hands were full of dirt and probably the rest of me from lying in the bushes. 

Since the sun just came up it was probably only 6 in the morning and there was no chance in hell I was going back inside my house to grab my wallet and phone. So instead I just started walking towards...somewhere well more like limping since my knee was in shambles. At first I told myself to go to Armin's but after walking half an hour since I couldn't take the bus and thinking, I realized it was a pretty shitty idea. 

It probably sounds stupid I know. Why wouldn't I go to my closest friend and ask for help tell him I was afraid to go home? I just couldn't my dad was the only person left in my family and I would feel like I betrayed him and mom for not being able to get through it and splitting what's left of our family apart. Ya I did sound pretty stupid but I couldn't get passed that fact. 

I stopped walking towards Armin's and instead walked into the main part of town close to his place. My knee was still throbbing and I sat down on one of the benches outside some variety store. I lifted up my pant leg, actually the first time I'd done so and Jesus Christ my knee looked like shit. It was defiantly swollen and it was covered in a huge purple bruise. 

I threw my pant leg down and leaned back on the bench. Leaning my head up to look at the clouds and try to clear my mind, try to figure out what the hell to do next. I guess I was more tired then I thought because one doesn't normally fall asleep on a public bench...do they?

 

I was awoken by the abruptness of someone sitting down beside me stretching their arms across the back of the bench. Damn did I really fall asleep on this thing? 

"So tell me brat, why in the fuck were you sleeping on a bench?" I looked at the person beside me and casually punched myself in my mind. Out of all people it had to be someone I know. 

"Uh-I um I w-was" shit what the hell was I supposed to say?

"Don't hurt yourself now." Oh just shut up for a second and let me think.

"Uh why are you here anyway?" Ya subject change that should work for now, hopefully.

"Well seeing as this is a public area outside of a variety store and right in front of the place I work, and wait where you work too I couldn't help to stop when I saw a stupid brat asleep on a bench just asking to be mugged." 

"O-oh." Well that made sense I guess. Shit what time was it I totally forgot I was supposed to work today, I'm really fucking up my first job.

"It's only 9:50 so you're not late yet, but I do suggest we get going." Levi got up taking a few steps before turning around waiting for me to follow. I guess I had no choice now. I got up and clearly forgetting my knee was a piece of shit because I took a step forward falling into Levi holding on to him to keep me from falling to the ground.

"Hey Bambi did you forget how legs worked?" Levi helped me stand holding my shoulders starring at me probably a little to intently. 

"Dammit kid don't tell me you're hurt again?" Levi sighed and turned around bending down slightly arms behind his back. "Well what are you waiting for get on. There's no point in trying to lie to me you're obviously hurt so I will just carry you back to the shop." Oh God this was so weird, but I jumped on his back and he carried me back to Wings of Freedom all the way to the back and putting me down on the couch. 

"So let's see." Levi gestured to my legs not exactly knowing where I was hurt. I rolled my eyes and pulled up my pant leg revealing the swollen and purple knee. 

"Jesus Christ Yeager how the hell did you get that." Levi said as he turned to grab a first aid kit on the desk taking out some gauze. 

"Uh well I was skateboarding and wiped out, landed right on my knee." At least I had time to think of an excuse. 

"Mhmm where's your skateboard then?" Levi raised an eyebrow looking up at me before he started wrapping my knee with the gauze he had.

"Uhh I left it on the side of the road it was a piece of shit anyway." 

"Mhmm ok well here change into this shirt since you are dirty as fuck" Levi handed me what looked like a work shirt we were supposed to wear but nobody did. "I will put a chair at the cash for you and something cold to put on your knee. You can just focus on cash and calls today since unfortunately I will need some help today." I just nodded and Levi walked away as I quickly changed my shirt and went up front to the chair he set out for me.

Work went by smoothly well as smooth as it could when you couldn't get out of a chair all day. I couldn't help but feel like Levi kept starring at me though. We both left the shop and Levi locked up which left us standing outside in the almost darkness and me trying to decide what to do next. 

"You okay?" Levi looked at me with...was that concern? 

"What? Ya I'm fine." 

"Are you really? It looks like you're ready to collapse. So how do you expect to get to the bus stop with a fucked up knee?" 

"It doesn't feel so bad anymore but I don't think I'm going to the bus stop, probably gonna see if my friend is home." 

"Alright then..." Levi started heading to his car but before he pulled away he rolled down his window. "Hey, let me know if you need anything." He grabbed something from beside him and wrote something down and then handed it to me outside the window then pulled away. 

I looked at the piece of paper and saw his number scribbled on it. I shoved it in my pocket making sure to put it in my phone as soon as I got it and made my way to Armin's.


	10. Levi's POV: I want to help

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi's POV: he just wants to help Eren and will do his best to give him a shoulder to lean on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally another chapter but now I kinda have the next one planned already! This chapter Eren goes from not having his phone to having it all of a sudden but there is a reason for that so don't be too confused! Next chapter we're gonna find out what Armin and Eren fought abouttttttttt so read on!! :)

It was two days since the party and...I wasn't counting down the days or anything but I worked with Eren today. Shop opened up at 10 but I liked to get there at least an hour early to get things ready for the day. 

I got dressed, pretty casually after taking a long needed shower to wake myself up. By the time I was fully ready and had breakfast I got to my car and headed to work. 

The ride was short since I lived close by and I parked in my usual place at the back. I still had quite a bit of time so I decided to swing around to the Main Street variety store and grab a couple things. 

Just as I was turning the corner to the main road a familiar sleeping figure sitting on a bench outside caught my eye. Eren was in what looked like a very uncomfortable sleep. His head was thrown back and his body was slowly slipping to one side of the bench. He had a frown on his face and his eyebrows were scrunched together so tightly it practically created one. 

Something was up clearly; not even a fool would think everything was okay with this boy. He could have went into work and stayed in the back instead of on a filthy sidewalk bench, but by the looks of it he had nothing with him except the clothes on his back. Deciding leaving him any longer wasn't a good idea a walked over to the bench sitting down and throwing my arms across the back, making sure to make enough of a ruckus to wake up Eren. 

He slowly opened his eyes looking a little startled and confused as to where he was. "So, tell me brat. Why the fuck were you sleeping on this bench?" Eren clearly didn't tell me the true reasons to his actions, instead trying to change the subject. After he realized he had to work today we began to make our way to Wings of Freedom, but not before Eren almost wrecked his face because his knee gave out. 

"Dammit kid don't tell me you're hurt again?" Something was obviously up and I couldn't help but to only want to get closer to Eren if only he would tell me what was wrong. Instead he just looked at me as if he was trying to think up a reasonable excuse.

"Well what are you waiting for get on. There's no point in trying to lie to me you're obviously hurt so I will just carry you back to the shop." He looked at me with questioning eyes as I bent down a little so he could easily get on my back. He hesitantly got on and I carried him to the shop and then to the couch in the back. 

First things first before we got to work, checking out Eren's knee. He seemed a little scared to reveal what was hidden under his pant leg but slid it up and cringed at the dark purple bruise practically covering his entire knee.

"Jesus Christ Yeager how the hell'd you get that!?" I couldn't hold myself back. Eren just pulled the first excuse he thought of out of his ass saying he fell off his skateboard and trashed it. I didn't believe it since he had no other scratches and other then his clothes being dirty there were no rips or tears. I don't know whether he was just hiding something or just reckless I'm considering the latter since he probably wouldn't look so off and out of it if he were just reckless. Besides why would he leave home without his wallet or phone for that matter. All I know is I will be here when he thinks he's ready to share and seek help for whatever is going on in his life. 

 

Work went smoothly, Eren sticking to cash and taking phone calls all though he looked hopeless since he still couldn't really help out with the most physical part of the job. It was the end of the night and we were locking up shop. Eren was taking it easy on his knee slightly limping to keep the weight off of it. I felt somewhat concerned he wouldn't make it to the bus stop with a sore knee so of course I asked if he was okay. He said he was fine and he was going to his friends so I got in my car. Before driving off I decided it was a good opportunity to slip him my number. I drove next to him and rolled down my window. 

"Hey...if you need anything just let me know." I tarred a piece of paper off of an envelope and scribbled out my number. I gave him a soft smile and handed it to him. He gave a small smile back and I pulled away. 

I got to my house not much later getting into my apartment deciding I was too tired to function and go lie down and try falling asleep. Clearly I was very tired because not 5 minuets into lying down starring at a wall I was out like a light. 

 

It must have been a few hours as the night sky was completely black and the only lights were the moon and stars. I only woke up to the sound of my phone ringing it's obnoxious tone beside me. I thought of just ignoring it and going back to bed until it rang for what seemed like forever. Whoever decided calling me late at night wasn't gonna be happy. I picked up my phone ready to yell at whoever it was until I noticed it was an unknown number. This only made me angrier because someone with probably the wrong number disrupted my slumber.

I click the talk button and didn't even give the other a chance to speak. "The hell do you want!? Who is this? Do you realize what time it is!" The last thing was said more as a statement then a question. The other end was silent for a few seconds and I'd thought they hung up until I heard a sniffle. "Hello?" I was a bit more careful this time In case it was in fact important. A few more seconds passed and the person on the other end spoke.

'L-Levi I'm sorry I called you s-so late I'll let you sleep.' Just then I realized it was Eren who called me and I felt like an asshole. One for almost scaring him off and two for the fact that I'm pretty sure he was crying. 

"No! Eren? That's you right? You okay?" A few more sniffles and then a soft yet shaky voice again.

'Uh yes. N-no? No. Uh I d-don't know...'

"Eren what's the matter where are you?" Damn I've never heard someone sound so lost. Nobody answered for about a minute and I was afraid he hung up. "Eren? Eren..you still there?"

I heard what sounded like words try to come through the phone but instead a whimper that turned into a quite sob broke through. He was still there. I gave him another minute and spoke up again. "Eren where are you I want to make sure you're okay." I would've said I could pick him up and take him where he needed to go but I didn't want a repeat of the car incident. It was kind of a pain trying to think of alternatives but like I even cared right now. 

'I-I'm at some park, l-like one where you walk through tr-trails.' That was most likely Sina park the only place like that around here. 

"Alright kid I know where that is I'm heading your way. You okay right now? You think you can manage a couple minutes?" I mean the worst he could do is walk circles on the trails or down the main road which I would be driving down, so either way I'd find him. 

'Umm m-my knee is messed up. H-hurts a lot, but I'm on a bench.' I knew he shouldn't have walked on it so soon but what could I say to stop him, probably nothing since he seemed pretty set in his own ways and followed only his rules. At least I could be there for him now.

"Alright brat be there in like 2 minutes just sit tight." I didn't hang up instead switching my phone to speaker. Eren didn't hang up either but neither of us talked just hearing small cries now and then I knew he was still there. 

I pulled into the parks lot and got out heading down the only trail the park had. After about another couple minutes I saw a figure hunched over on a bench. Hands tangled in his hair and body slightly shaking. I got closer and hung up my phone now hearing small cries in real time rather then over the phone. 

I took a seat next to him not saying anything and just rubbed small circles into his back and eventually he was leaning into me crying into my chest. Finally he mumbled something under his breath. "I'm...i'm so stupid." He sniffled and then raised his head to look at me. "Levi I'm so fucking stupid! I'm such an idiot! I don't deserve you being being here right now...I'm just a selfish stupid kid who can't do anything right...I'm sorry for waking you up and making you come out here. You...you can go home." His voice quieted down after his first few yells and he hunched back over head in his hands. 

I stopped rubbing his back and reached down to grab his chin and bring him back into a sitting position facing me, holding him in place. "You're not stupid. Why would you say that? Why are you out here Eren...I'm sure you have your reasons. Don't worry about me I gave you my number for this sole reason. I said to call me if you needed anything and to me it looks like you need a shoulder." Eren wiped his face with his collar of his shirt. His eyes were red and puffy and he looked like a mess. 

"I I went to Armin's and we kinda got into a fight. We've never fought before and it seemed kinda serious. I feel dumb because he was probably right. I could have lost my best friend in the whole world because I'm a dumb fucking human being." No one talked for a minuet and Eren took that time to compose himself before finishing. 

"Anyways after that I ran here and my knee...my knee hurts like a bitch I don't think I can walk on it at all anymore." I let out air through my nose and wiped away a tear that showed up on his face again, trying to stop another mess of tears falling from a fragile brat. 

We just sat on the bench for a while starring at the stars...soon the sun was begging to rise and a small yawn came from Eren. He must have been exhausted probably not much sleep since the bench in front of the pizza shop. We continued to stay silent but it wasn't awkward. It was comforting and soon enough Eren started nodding off, head drooping lower and lower. Not much later his head was rested on my shoulder and he was in a deep sleep, and I let him stay like that letting the small gusts of air coming from him relax me and allow me to fall asleep leaning on him as well on some dirty old bench int he middle of Sina Park.


	11. Going Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren and Armin fight. Levi takes Eren home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay chapter...i don't really know what to say but anywayyyys enjoy o.o

The sun was practically gone and I took my time getting to Armin's house, I really didn't want to damage my knee anymore then it was so I limped the whole way probably looking like some deranged freak.

Finally after what felt like an eternity I got to Armin's house. I could get a good night of rest...I'm not even sure how many hours of no sleep I've been running on, but I wasn't gonna last much longer.

I knocked on the door and it came flying open before I could knock a second time. "EREN! Are you okay!? Jesus, Eren come in!" Armin's face went from scared into one of relief as he seen I was standing in one piece. 

"Uh hey Armin? Ya I'm fine why the heck are you so worried?" I limped my way over to his living room couch and plopped down laying out my bad leg to rest it.

Armin's eyebrows scrunched and he made his thought processing look. "Eren? What's wrong with your leg?" 

"Huh? Oh heh yeah...just, just fell off my skateboard that's all." I figured if the skateboard lie somewhat worked with Levi I may have a chance of it working on Armin too. Until I realized Armin actually knew everything about me.

"Eren...you haven't skateboarded since you were a freshman..." Well shit. "Uh y-yeah it's why I fell off?" It was more of a question, seeing if he would even somewhat buy it since I already knew my cover was blown.

"Dammit Eren, what's going on...where do you go and what people are you hanging around with?" Armin's voice turned into one of concern and mine into one of confusion. Where did I go? What was he talking about as far as he should know I've been home and at work.

"What're you talking about Armin? I'm only ever home well except today I was at work." 

"EREN! You need to stop lying..." Armin's voice rose and he walked into the kitchen picking up some things off the counter and walking back to me. "Somethings up and I wish you would just tell me!?" Armin tossed the things onto the couch beside me. My phone...and wallet. My face went pale at the sight of my things. How did he get these? Does that mean he went to my house? Does he know about dad? Shit shitty shit. 

"A-Armin I don't know what you're talking about. How did you get my stuff?" My hands were trembling waiting for an answer. 

"Like hell Eren...your dad came by and said you've been missing for a couple days after another damn party you went to. He said he has been driving around town everyday trying to find you." W-what? He was looking for me? That only made me tremble more, the thought of being caught by him was terrifying.

Armin's voice quieted down a bit. "Dammit Eren, he dropped these things off here thinking you'd come here first. Guess he was right...your dad is worried sick about you, he deserves at least a call knowing your okay. Hell I think I deserve some sort of explanation so I know you're okay." 

"No. No no no no no. I am not calling him. I've just been dealing Armin...I don't know I'm fine seriously. Me and dad just kinda had a small falling out and you know my temper...anyways seriously I'm just tired can I just crash here for the ni-" I was abruptly cut off by Armin, once again his voice raised. I figured Armin was just frustrated at first, we never fight and he is really only ever concerned for me. I thought I might get a lecture but not this. 

"You can't just ignore your dad forever! You seriously need to control yourself Eren, just because of some small argument doesn't mean you can run away. I'm your best friend for god sakes! You could've came here right away if you needed to, not wander around aimlessly for who knows how long!" Armin sat down on the couch roughly pulling up my pant leg and sucking in a breath. 

"How did this happen!? For real, can't you at least tell me that? I'm desperate I hate seeing you hurt." 

My eyes were pricking with tears but I held them back. "I-I can't tell you. Please maybe when I'm ready but n-not right now." Armin leaned his head in his hands and sat like that for a few seconds.

He looked back up at me, this time the remnants of a tear down the side of his face. "I can't Eren. I can't wait...you know, normally I'd let it slide. I trust you we've been together since forever. I knew you could handle yourself in most situations..." Armin sniffled and I felt like dying. Dammit how could I do this to my best friend. "But Eren somethings been going on, I know...and-and if your not going to tell me. If you refuse to tell me I don't think I could let you stay over tonight. I-i just need to calm myself down I guess. I could call Jean or, actually probably your dad he would be happy knowing your okay and make sure you get home safe." 

I stood up at that a tear running down my face. I grabbed my phone and wallet and shoved them into my pockets. I'm not ready to go home yet. Not yet, not until my hand is healed at least. I need to be able to hold my own. I mean it's practically fine now I barley use the splint anymore. 

Armin looked up as I stood and reached for his phone wiping at his nose. "Ar...I'm sorry really but I-I I promise I will tell you one day." At that I bolted for the door.

I didn't hear any calls of my name, and I just kept running. I fucked this up. Armin probably hates me. He was right I should trust him, it's not that I don't...I just don't even know what I'm doing myself. Fuck I hated this he was my best friend and I fucked it up. 

Tears started falling down my face without me noticing and my knee was throbbing. I wasn't sure where I was going but before I knew it I was on some old bench in some nature park. My sides were hurting, cramped from running for what felt like 1000 miles. My knee was fucked, I could barley move it to readjust my legs. The tears wouldn't stop coming either. 

Along with my best friend wanting nothing to do with me, my dad is probably searching for me so he can sell me off for some drugs or beat me because I'm a fuck up and killed my mother. It was hard to breath, gasping for breaths of air only producing hiccups. Every time I seemed to calm down they would only come back with harsh sobs. I went rifling through my pockets for my phone and along with it pulled out Levi's number. I just wanted someone here right now to tell me things would be okay. Even though they'd never be, maybe Levi would tell me I'm an idiot and confirm my beliefs that I mine as well rot away in some forest for the rest of my life. 

I slowly dialled the number and heard it begin to ring. After about 5 rings I didn't think anyone was going to answer until a harsh voice cut in asking what the hell I wanted. I figured I fucked up by calling him so I was going to hang up until his voice changed. By the end of the call and not but 2 minutes later Levi was beside me letting me cry on him. I went through mostly what had happened trying hard not to blubber like a baby but I couldn't help it. Eventually after sitting in silence starring up at he stars, my days caught up with me and I was out like a light. 

 

I was woken up by someone shaking my shoulder. "Sir? Are you alright?" Some woman it seemed, stopped on her morning jog to wake me from my much needed slumber. I nodded and she smiled and continued jogging. Where's Levi? Of course, he must've run off the second I fell asleep. Probably wants nothing to do with someone who can't even handle themselves, who cries like a baby for being so stupid. I stretched and slowly got to my feet testing my knee. I guess from resting it all night it managed to somewhat become bearable to at least limp on. I wasn't sure where I was going but I started heading down one of the trails. Before I could let my thoughts get to me my phone was ringing. 

"Hello?" 

'Tch, brat I'm gone for one second to get us coffee and that's the moment you choose to wake up. Where are you?' Oh Levi...I guess he didn't leave me. 

"Uh I just walked down the trail sorry..." The line went flat and moments later Levi was coming down the trail with two coffees in hand. 

"Ya know I didn't even tell you which way I went, you could've walked the wrong way." I managed to say while taking one of the coffees. 

"If I walked the wrong way it would've been a sign. Now where were you planning on going?" Right...where was I planning on going? I mean I guess I could go to Jean's but what if Marco was there...honestly I'd most likely end up on another bench tonight, but of course I can't tell Levi that. 

"Umm probably go to my other friend's house for the night I guess." 

"If I may ask why don't you want to go home?" Shit. Different lies raced through my mind and I settled on something that might be believable? Who was I kidding he would probably see right through it.

"Uh, well I heard about the robbers on tv apparently it has gotten really bad, and well uh my dad hasn't been home for a couple days...work and such, I'm just too afraid to be home by myself I guess." Hah ya good lie Eren. *mental high five*

Levi gave me a questioning look and after turning back the other way began walking. Assuming he wanted me to follow I slowly caught up to him. "Well brat, I can bus back with you and double check your house if you want. Is that really all?"

Of course he would've offered to come home with me. Although I know he just wants to help, I feel like he is doing it only because he feels forced to. "Umm actually...no I will be fine I can just be irrational sometimes...I will go home by myself I'm sure everything is fine." Levi stopped walking and raised an eyebrow eventually I stopped to see what he was waiting for.

"Kid you can barley walk, I mine as well take you home...and that way at least I will feel better knowing you're not dying on the side of some road because your knee decided not to cooperate." 

"No really Levi, it's fine...you sat with me all night you probably wanna go home so ju-" I was cut off and Levi abruptly began walking again.

"I said I'd go so I'm going. Even if you say no I will follow you." Why wont he just give up...with him I'm probably safer but from what's been going on lately who knows.

"F-fine but you can only walk me to my house no going in its probably a huge mess, it's embarrassing."

Levi was quiet thinking for a second before he spoke. "Tch fine, whatever...lets just get you home."


	12. Life Sucks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erens day only continues to get worse since he goes home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I guess you could say trigger warning for abuse...yeahhhh next chapter will be Levi's POV for sure! Anyway I feel like a terrible person heh heh Enjoy? I guess .-.

.I don't know how I ever agreed to this...but Levi is sitting beside me on the bus and we are heading to my home. I don't know if he even believes my shit of a story because ouu I'm so afraid of a robber, when in reality I'm afraid of my dad. The bus ride isn't long or awkward. We make small talk about taking it easy on my knee and how Levi's probably gonna go to work later to eat because he doesn't feel like cooking. Eventually we get to the stop I've gotten off at more times then I can remember and we begin the trek to my house.

"So need me to hold your hand as we search through the house for scary monsters." Levi smirked but I couldn't help but hold down a shiver. You might find a monster but not the kinds you know from fairy tails. Levi's smirk fell as he looked at me so I tried giving him a small smile. We continued walking and just great...fan-fucking-tastic. Dad's car is in the driveway and Levi is still following me towards my house.

"U-uh this is good Levi...I'm sure I can get to my front door from here. My dad's home so it will be fine." Ha ya right. 

"You sure?" Levi just looked at me concerned. "Y-ya I have your number remember." Pulling my phone out for effect. 

"Alright...but call if you need anything and I'm serious brat." Just before I could say anything in return the door came swinging open. Fuck. Shit. Shitty fuck. Who knew my day could get any better. Not me I had no fucking clue. 

"Eren!? Where the hell have you been??!! Get your as-" he stopped yelling and cut himself off as he saw Levi standing not far behind me in the walkway. Levi raised an eyebrow looking between me and my father.

"Mr. Yeager I presume? Nice to meet you." He moved up the path to my father extending a hand. "Names Levi. I'm Eren's manager at Wings of Freedom...just making sure he got home safe." Grisha looked down at Levi's hand for a moment before shaking it. It was like his whole personality switched and he was now in business mode.

"Ah...Grisha. Nice to meet you. Hope my son isn't too much of a hassle for you." Dick.

"Of course not he is great at his job, good for us I'd say." I must've looked uneasy well shit I was uneasy, the last thing I wanted was for Levi to meet my father...at least he is staying professional, and I mean both of them. Levi must have noticed my need to get in the house because he looked at me and his features softened from professional to caring. 

"Well I better get going...its about time for dinner anyways so I will leave you both to it." Levi nodded and after giving me one last look of not sympathy but a look saying, don't hesitate to ask me for help, he left. Just as he left I could tell I was in for the best night of my life. No sarcasm intended or anything... Me and dad walked back into the house and I attempted to get upstairs to my room before he could talk to me, maybe even forget I was there. But who am I kidding that kind of stuff only happens in fairy tails. 

"God dammit Eren!? Do you know how long you've been gone??!!" His nostrils were flaring as he was screaming at me and I'm pretty sure spit was flying with each word. "I don't know if you realized...but I needed you to be home!!" He stepped towards me as he bit through each and every word he said. Ya right you needed me, you just wanted to sell me for drugs you stupid fuck. I continued stepping back eventually unable to move back any further. "First you kill your mother, and now you're gone almost everyday doing God knows what! You're lucky I haven't kicked your ass out on the streets! The only reason you're still here is because I get paid to keep your worthless ass!!!" His nose was practically pushed up against my forehead. I wish Levi didn't go. I wish he stayed. I wish mom was still here. Fuck I wish everything was how it used to be. "Your lucky I'm not in the mood to punish you the way I want to. Clean up the fuckin house and I don't wanna hear you complain. I wanna see the god damn floor sparkle you worthless swine." With that he backed off and went up the stairs and into his room.

My heart rate must have been running at 1000 miles a minute. If I didn't feel like shit before I defiantly did now. He was right. I'm just worthless scum...I killed mom and I can't even let my dad be happy. I'm such a fuck up he has to go out drinking every night to forget I even exist. 

 

I've been cleaning for what was probably over three hours and I was exhausted. I didn't bother taking any chances in stopping especially since dad was just upstairs. During those three hours I could here him talking, probably on the phone, stomping around, smashing something, and God only knows what else. The entire downstairs is spotless I swear I could see my own reflection in the hard wood floors. My knee was throbbing somewhat since I wasn't necessarily able to rest it since I've been home so I decided to grab a glass of water and head to my room for the night. I was pouring my glass of water when I heard stumbling around upstairs and a shout. Then some more stumbling and a door slam closed. I gripped my glass of water tighter placing it down before I broke it in my hand. Listening for a few more seconds I heard him stumble down the upstairs hall and it sounded like he was going into my room. When I heard a door slam again my nerves shot up tenfold. I didn't know whether to pretend like its nothing or hide. Neither were an option apparently as I was frozen with fear. 

"Where are you boy?!" My dad stumbled to the top of the stairs with an almost empty bottle of probably whiskey swinging in his hand. He took a wobbly step down the first stair holding onto the railing for balance. "Damn worthless scum what're you doin' downstairs you should be sleeping!?" 

I shook as he continued to slowly move down the stairs not able to speak as my voice was betraying me. "Answer me when I speak!" He stopped about half way taking a swig from the bottle.

"Y-you t-told me to c-clean the, the house." I moved to stand in the corner of the entry way from the kitchen to the living room so he could only slightly see me. He gave me an incredulous look before raising his hand with the bottle and whipping it my way. A squeak escaped me as I ducked further into the kitchen the glass bottle shattering on impact with the wall, glass flying everywhere. My body was so tense yet shaking so hard in fear it physically hurt. I felt as though I was going to collapse from sheer terror. A few more bangs were heard and peeking around the corner again I saw my dad finally standing at the bottom of the steps.

He walked over into the kitchen where he was attempting to follow me around the table throwing chairs out of the way as I tried to avoid him. That's it I would make a break for the front door when he got to the farthest side of the table. Although drunk he still somehow threw me off. Just as I was about to avoid the glass on the floor and get through the doorway to the living room he was behind me pushing me to the ground into the broken glass. Somehow I managed to fall on my arms avoiding cuts in my hands. All though they were safe I defiantly had glass stuck in my arms surging a sharp pain throughout them. I cringed as I was able to quickly move forward and get back to my feet. My dad was scowling from across the room and just before I was going to make another attempt at escaping I heard a ring come from my pocket. It seemed to make my dad slow down but not by much. I ignored the first time focusing on getting out of the house. When it started to ring again I took it out of my pocket to see who it was. Caller ID read Levi and I quickly answered hoping for something that I wasn't even sure of quite yet. 

As soon as I pressed talk his voice came through. 'Hey brat just wanted to let you know yo-' he quickly stopped talking as he was cut off by yelling.

"You better quit moving boy!" I was trembling as my dad moved his way towards me somehow getting closer to me quicker then I thought he would. 

"L-levi I can't talk right now sorry." Right before I could hang up I was once again pushed to the ground, phone flying across the living room. Shit damn FUCK. I'm so dumb if I tried hard enough I could of probably got away...I'm so stupid letting my own father scare me to the point of unrelenting fear. When I fell the glass that was already in my arms just moved more, fucking them up with even more pain. 

"I don't even know why your mother wanted to keep you when you were born. If it were my choice you wouldn't even be here right now." He starred me down standing over top of me looking like a giant standing over an ant. I felt so small and worthless. Reaching down he picked my up by the collar of my shirt shoving me against the wall hard enough my head snapped back coming in contact with it giving me an instant head ache. 

"You're nothing but a murderer." He let go of my shirt and just when I thought he was going to walk away his fist came flying into my gut. I instantly lost all the air in my lungs and felt like I was going to pass out. I fell back against the wall sliding down it trying to catch my breath. Just when I'd thought I could breath his foot came down crashing into me once again ridding me of more oxygen. Hyperventilating I attemped breathing. With every punch or kick to the gut, chest, or legs he let out a cuss on how much of a burden and mistake I was to the world. 

"P-please please n-no more." I managed to say tears finally breaking through cascading into a waterfall down my face. "I will decide when I'm done." I should've kept my mouth shit. Why did I speak I'm so dumb. It only seemed to anger him more because his next hit came straight to the face blurring my vision for a couple of seconds. I couldn't catch a breath between the hits and the crying and was grasping onto the last bit of oxygen I could to try not to pass out. Black was clouding my vision and my father was nothing more then a blob standing above me. I'm weak and worthless I couldn't do anything except beg for the beating to stop.

Just before I could pass out I heard a loud bang at the front door. Then another. Then a huge crash as the front door burst open and someone came barreling in. I was curled in a tiny ball. Someone was yelling and one of the blobs attacked the other bringing them to the ground. Whoever fell wasn't getting back up and everything seemed silent.

I was trying my best to stay awake. Eyes closing only for me to catch myself and open them up again. Between fading in and out someone was kneeled down in front of me but I couldn't quite make out who it was. The last time my eyes stayed open, just before I decided to take a nap the figure picked me up in their arms and whisked me off out the front door.


	13. Levi's POV: Quick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi comes to the rescue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo I wrote this chapter so much quicker then usual yayy. Also I realized I spelt fairy tales like tails last chapter and I'm too lazy to change it but oh well heh heh anyways EnjOY :3

I got back home after meeting Eren's dad, who seemed a little off but then again if Eren was really missing for a couple days who wouldn't be a little angry. I don't know but something about him made my stomach turn. I hadn't eaten dinner yet and like I told Eren earlier, I was going to eat at the shop because frankly I wasn't in the mood to cook. After grabbing my keys off the counter I went out to my car heading to Wings of Freedom.

 

"LEviiII!!" Hanji screamed from her spot behind the counter. "Jesus shitty glasses tone it done a notch...or a hundred." I walked into the back avoiding Hanji and my inevitable death if she were to get her arms around me. Erwin was sitting in the back flipping through a calendar checking off days. 

"You guys finally finish the damn schedule?" Erwin raised his head and gave an overly inviting smile.

"Well hello to you too. But yah it's all finished, Eren is added and everything." He flipped to this month and handed the calendar over to me. I quickly took a look through it and saw Eren worked officially next week. This is it. My chance to call him. I quickly whipped out my phone and was hesitant before I found his name in my contacts. The phone rang through the first time taking me to voice mail. I hung up and tried calling again. Why did I feel so nervous...I was just calling Eren. As soon as I heard the ringing stop and someone breath words spilled out of my mouth. 

"Hey Eren, just wanted to let yo-" half way through my talking I heard shouting but it wasn't coming from Eren. Yet I couldn't make out what they were saying. 

'L-levi I can't talk right now sorry.' I was sure he was about to hang up on me. Well great going Levi you were clearly nervous because the brat didn't want to talk to you. Instead of a dial tone I heard a crash as if the phone was dropped and then some more shouting. I suddenly felt sick. Something was wrong. Very wrong. 

"Hey Levi you alright? You look a little pale." Erwin looked at me worry etched over his features. Shit I needed to go see Eren. I need to make sure he's okay. 

"Uh ya Erwin I'm fine...but I gotta go I just remembered something." With that I didn't say another word and practically ran back to my car outside. Getting into the car I put my phone on speaker just in case, so I would be able to hear what was going on at Eren's house. I don't think I've ever driven faster in my life. It sounded like a fight of sorts. They must have moved closer to the phone as I kept hearing shouting something along the lines of worthless. Fuck Eren please be okay. I then heard something that shattered my heart and made my stomach flip. A few whimpers came through the phone and begging. That was Eren. He was fucking begging for the other person to stop. I drove even faster going over the speed limit by way to much, but I didn't care. Please be okay.

I finally made it to his house and practically jumped out of the car before I'd even stopped it. I ran to the front door and the sounds coming from the inside made me want to kill whoever was hurting Eren. I went to open the front door but of course it was locked. I started to panic, I couldn't just stand out here and wait till Eren was dead before someone answered. I rammed my shoulder into the door once...fuck that's gonna bruise. It didn't budge and it's as if my wild instincts kicked in because no more then 2 seconds later the door was smashed open. 

As soon as I got into the house I saw Eren lying in a small ball at the bottom of his father's feet. "What the fuck are you doing!!!?" I yelled to the monster of a man. In what looked like a drunken state Grisha turned around and had a dark scowl on his face. "Get the fuck outta my house. This ain't any of you're business!" Like hell it isn't. "Get the hell away from him or else I'm calling the cops!" My fists were clenched so tight they were going numb. "The boy is gettin what he deserves, cops ain't gonna do shit." 

That was it. With all the anger built up inside of me, the panic I felt on my way over here, the way Eren was crying in fear... I didn't hold back. With the first swing I slammed my fist into his gut getting him to lean over giving me better reach towards his ugly face. The second fist came   
flying hitting him straight in the face. Grisha didn't even have time to blink before he was crashing into the floor knocked out on impact. I moved towards Eren looking at his beaten up form. His arms were bleeding and it looked like a large piece of glass was stuck in one of them. I could see a large bruise already forming on his face along with a split lip and bloody nose. He was taking laboured breaths and looked like he was trying to stay awake. Shit he needs to get to a hospital. I couldn't panic not right now. 

"Hey...Eren I'm taking you to the hospital okay. Stay with me ok." I doubt he heard me but he tried staying awake, opening his eyes every time he'd closed them by accident. I picked him up bridal style and he groaned in pain. Jesus Christ poor kid. Before I made it to my car Eren was passed out. In a way I was glad because I didn't want him having a panic attack on top of this shit but I didn't want him sleeping just so I'd know he was okay.

Earlier I said I've never driven faster then I did getting to Eren's... well I am now. Probably moving at warp speed getting to Shiganshina hospital. I parked right up at the front and picked up Eren from the passenger seat. I got as far as the front doors before a couple of nurses noticed me and grabbed a wheel chair, since it was the closest thing to move Eren quickly to a room. Just like that I'm sitting in the waiting room for what seemed like forever before a nurse walked out letting me know Eren was now alright and just resting.

Before I could go into Eren's room one of the nurses stopped me. "Excuse me sir...but are you family? Otherwise we cannot allow you any further." The nurse looked a little uneasy probably due to the look of disdain I shot her way. 

"Eren doesn't exactly have family... I'm a very close friend." Hopefully he thought of me that way. "Please I just need to see if he is okay." The nurse stopped for a moment then finally allowed me to go into the room. The site of Eren made me wish anything and everything evil on this earth was obliterated. The bruise on his face was now a dark purple around his left eye moving down his jaw into a yellow brown. His arms were bandaged up and most likely stitched where the glass had been and he had tape on his nose. I moved a little closer examining him further. He was hooked up to a couple IVs and had an oxygen mask on (the one that sticks up your nose), and a bandage around his head. He was anything but fine. He looked exhausted and I couldn't help but feel the need to hug him and hold him close for the rest of eternity.

I hadn't realized it was late but it was practically 10 at night and I was exhausted as well. I took a seat beside his bed scooting close so I could hold his hand and feel the warmth knowing he would in the physical sense be alright. The nurses didn't come to bug me to leave and apparently didn't care much as I woke up the next day to the sun from the window shining in my eyes. 

Eren was still asleep groaning a bit as he moved around and when the nurses came in a couple of times to poke and prod him. I left for a bit to go grab something quick to eat and returned as fast as humanly possible. Last night was hectic... lying to the nurses about Eren getting into a street fight and thankfully getting them to not contact his father. I told them he was far out of town and I'd call him myself. 

I was sitting in the same chair as before reading a magazine when Eren groaned again louder then usual. I quickly put down the book and watched him as he began to slowly open his eyes adjusting to the light. He groaned again as he tried to move his arm to grab at the oxygen tubes up his nose. I quickly grabbed his hand holding it in place.

He blinked a few more times and had a permanent frown on his face. "L-levi?" He made a disturbed face and held onto his chest as he took a couple breaths. 

"Hey kid, you probably feel like shit. I gotta call the nurse they probably have something to take care of that pain." I grabbed the button attached to a cord on his bed and pressed it. After about a minute a nurse came in. 

"Oh my he's awake!" The nurse smiled and turned to grab the clip board inside a folder on the wall. 

"Hello Eren. I'm your nurse for the day. You can call me Stacey." She said with a large smile. "Could you tell me how much pain your in on a scale from 1-10?" Eren squeezed his eyes shut as if focusing hard and when he opened them they were filled with water just ready to over flow. 

"N-nin-ghh" he cringed before he could say the full word. With that though the nurse moved quicker. "Alright sweety, hang tight and I will be back in a flash." As we waited a tear fell from Eren's eye and he squeezed my hand tighter. Nurse Stacey finally came back with a doctor and as she added something to his IV the doctor explained Eren's condition. 

"You're not in any major danger but I would probably thank your friend over there for that. I'm sure if you hadn't gotten here sooner you may have been in he ICU." The doctor flipped the papers in his hand. "You did have a broken nose but it wasn't major and is taken care of, just some tape which can probably be taken off now. I would take it easy with the electronics and too much reading for a while, the back of your head got bumped pretty badly and it'd only increase headaches." Eren continued looking at the ceiling as the doctor continued speaking; now facing me hoping if Eren wasn't listening I'd relay the info. 

"The bruising will need some ice for sure, it will numb most of the pain along with his medication I will be prescribing." He then put the paper down moving closer to the bedside.

"What I'm most concerned about is the chest. No permanent damage was done but there is defiantly severe bruising." The doctor looked at Eren making sure it was okay before lifting the hospital shirt to expose his chest and take a look. The bruises on his chest were by far worse then the one on his face. The doctor took out his stethoscope and listened to Eren's breathing for a minute. "Eren the reason you have an oxygen tube is because your breathing is a little laboured. Due to the harsh bruises it is gonna hurt to breath for a bit so we are helping you out." After a few more words were said the doctor and nurse both left me and Eren to our own.

Eren was slowly falling asleep his eyelids trying to stay open. As soon as the door closed a few tears fell down his face. "L-levi I-I" 

"Shh Eren you need some rest it can wait." He squeezed my hand again and just before he fell asleep whispered a small "I'm sorry." As soon as he fell asleep I picked the magazine back up with one hand continuing to read as Eren held my other hand as a life line.


	14. Thoughts are Powerful

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren leaves the hospital and gets some things from home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there isn't much dialogue in this chapter but alot of Eren. Trigger warning: depressing thoughts...does that count? Idk. Yes.? Anyways read on...

I've been in the hospital for two days. It seems as though Levi has never left my side, except for the occasional food or bathroom run. I honestly couldn't even tell if he went to work at all since I've been here. I continued to sleep as much as possible for two reasons. Sleep took the pain away and I was trying to postpone the inevitable. I knew Levi would want to talk with me about this and I just didn't want to face reality at the moment. Every time he left the room I'd take that chance to flip through a magazine but as soon as he'd come back I'd pretend I was sleeping or about to fall asleep. The medicine running through the IVs have been putting me into deep sleeps therefore avoiding any nightmares and if I did have any I didn't remember. I wasn't afraid of talking to Levi, it was the fact that I didn't want to go down memory lane. I knew once I began my story I would have to tell the whole gruesome piece...beginning to end. Frankly, I wasn't ready to spend hours crying and being coddled like a child. I hate sharing my feelings. I hate getting people involved. I would rather just deal, I know that's not good but I'd rather not pull others into my bullshit I call life.

 

It was the third day in the hospital and I was being released tomorrow. Eventually the talk would come, especially since me and Levi spoke briefly and I would be staying at his place for a bit, until I can get a hold of life and back on my own two feet. Levi was something else, I honestly would probably be dead right now if he wasn't involved in my life. Levi is my anchor right now he is what is keeping me grounded. I feel like such a dick saying this but...with the amount of trust I hold for Levi I don't know if I'm ready to share with him probably one of the biggest events in my life. The shit with my father was subtle until the last couple of weeks but what I'm most afraid of is talking about mom. I know he will want reasons. Why does my father hate me? and when I tell him he will probably hate me too.

Hell...I even hate myself. I was a tiny speck of depression floating around knocking down anyone I came in contact with. I don't want to knock down Levi. I don't want to drag him into the never ending whirlpool of my life. This sucks. I'm starting to get fed up with myself. Pretending to sleep the last three days away is mentally and physically exhausting. My brain is deciding to go for a run again and it feels like my face is constantly scrunched together...hell it probably is and it is tiring. I feel finished, I feel like garbage, someone just needs to pick me up and toss me into a pile of trash and light it on fire. 

The same reoccurring thought of wanting to rid myself of this world runs through my mind, but I won't do it. The thoughts keep coming but I won't go that far. Maybe it's the drowning depression and emptiness I feel that is giving me these thoughts, but I'm too scared. I'm too scared to grab that bottle of pills or razor and end it. I guess that's a good thing though, I need to change my mind and get rid of these over powering thoughts. Maybe I'm alone in this world but I know if I search hard enough someone is willing to give me their time of day. Right now that someone is Levi. I feel like if I just left the world he would be angry because he wasted all this time helping me. I'm sure Armin and Mikasa would be sad but they'd probably get over it. Dad would be happy and mom would never have to see me again, since I was probably going to hell. Jesus Christ just these overwhelming thoughts alone would probably send me there. 

 

It was time to leave the hospital. I still haven't spoken much to Levi except we both compromised to pick up some of my clothes only if my dad's car wasn't there, and after Levi checked the house. I signed out of the hospital and they wheeled me out in a wheel chair since I was still feeling some affects of the drugs although I'd probably be fine walking just sore. The doctors gave me meds to cope with the pain mostly for the bruising on my chest since it was still pretty tender and felt like pin pricks when I breathed. We got onto the bus and slowly walked to my house noticing the car wasn't in the driveway and decided the coast was clear. 

"You sure you will be alright kid? We can always come back later for your things." Levi said holding onto my shoulder ready to walk away.

"No its okay let's just be quick please." 

"Alright I'll be right back just give me a second." I gulped as I realized I'd be left alone for a little bit and my dad could probably come home any minute. Levi must've noticed my nervousness as he practically ran to the front door and was back out in a minute. I quickly followed him heading to the house. The place I no longer felt welcome. My hands were instantly cracking every knuckle on them even if they could no longer crack...a nervous tic I seemed to have developed. 

Levi followed me upstairs into my bedroom and I grabbed a bag from my closet filling it with clothes from my drawers, then heading to the bathroom to get my essentials like toothbrush and deodorant. When I noticed Levi wasn't following me I back tracked to my room where Levi was sitting on the bed holding something, mouth slightly parted open and eyes smiling. I walked over to him and realized it was my sketch book open to the page of the drawing of Levi. I guess I forgot about it in the corner of my room and hadn't dared to touch it. 

"You're really good. I think you made me look better then I actually do." I instantly blushed and snatched the book from his hands. 

"I-it's not you." I shoved the book into my bag and began walking out of the room. 

"Mmhm, then it must be my twin brother because I'm pretty sure that looked like me." I looked back at Levi who had a smirk on his face and now my face was most likely entirely red along with my ears and neck. I tried to say something but generally my reply was a squeak.

I rushed down the stairs as fast as my sore body could and almost fell to my knees before Levi came running up behind me to keep me steady. The glass was still on the floor along with a little bit of blood and that nights events rushed through me. I could see my fathers angry face inches away from my own. I could hear the helplessness in my voice and feel the spit on my skin with every word he'd screamed at me. I felt myself being pounded in the chest and arms and legs.

By now Levi was practically holding up my complete weight. My legs were complete jelly and my chest hurt like a thousand needles were stabbing me and ten tons of bricks were being placed on top of me. The couch wasn't far away and Levi brought us down to sit on it. He wrapped his arms around me, his hands playing with my hair letting me sink my self into his body fitting perfectly like we were ment to hold each other. He whispered soft reminders.

"Shh Eren, everything is going to be okay. Forget about him and this place. It'll be alright." Finally after getting ahold of myself being able to breath smoother, we got up grabbing my things and heading out the door to the bus stop. Levi was going to pick his car up later from the hospital once he got me settled. I really needed to learn to cope with this car thing because now more then ever, I've realized how much a hassle it could be to be so damn afraid of something that holds such a huge impact on my life. That was a problem for another time though, as we took the bus to his home I mentally prepared myself of the talk I'd have with Levi maybe not today or tomorrow but soon...and maybe this way I'd be able to start my life again and work back towards putting myself back together again.


	15. Sharing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren finally shares with Levi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yaaw another chapter...so like my "plan" cause I totally have one is moving along just dandy ;) heh ok read read now :*

I settled in at Levi's and I've been here for 3 days already and am already feeling overly great full for what he's done for me. The first three days were mainly bed rest, aside from going to the bathroom or grabbing a quick snack from Levi's cupboard. At first he insisted I take his bed while he sleeps on the couch, but after a night full of bad dreams and him holding me through it he eventually just shared the bed with me. He's been going to work but short shifts where I'd basically sleep till he got back anyway. I'm healing physically I'm not in as much pain yet breathing still sucks.

I've decided today is the day. I'm going to let Levi in on my past not because I feel forced to, but I want to especially after all he has done for me, and if he is the one who is going to help me stand back on my own two feet he damn well deserves to know. It's gotta be today, if I'm going to start work in less then a week I want to tell him before going back. I want to get it off my chest so I can take the next couple of days to calm down and focus on starting over. I have to do this one thing because as they say, life has to get bad before it gets better. 

I was still lying in bed only waking up about 5 minutes ago. Well I've been coming in and out of sleep all day...I just didn't feeling like getting up knowing what today was going to bring me. I heard the jingle of keys and the front door open knowing it was probably Levi coming home from work.

"Hey Eren I brought home some pizza for dinner...I don't know about you, but I wasn't really in the mood to cook." Levi made his way over to the room after calling out to see if I was up. With a long over due stretch I rolled out of bed.

"Mmh ya thanks...I'm coming." With that Levi turned and went back out to the kitchen. I rubbed my eyes and sluggishly made my way out into the kitchen where Levi was already sitting at the table with a couple slices of pizza. I grabbed myself one knowing my appetite has been shit lately I would barley be able to finish it, let alone two. 

I sat at the table and began nibbling on my food trying to think of a way to get our conversation going, yet I couldn't think of one damn thing. 

"So it wasn't very busy tonight, Hanji let me come home early." Levi tried making conversation as it was...I wouldn't say awkward, but way to quite. 

"Mmhm." Was my only reply as I was chewing some food and I was still thinking of what to say. 

Levi finished off his last piece and stood up to bring his plate to the sink. "You gonna try to finish the whole thing kid? You know you need something in your stomach...it isn't good to eat nothing all day."

I just shrugged and took another small bite. I could blame it on me just waking up...but I know I was being short with my barley there answers because I was falling, well fell into a depression and today was especially bad. I thought about telling Levi about 'things' another day but...if I did it today maybe I could begin to get better. 

"Hey brat, you still here?" Levi was waving his hand in front of my face.

"Whaa? Oh. Ya." Damn he probably thinks I'm a mental case.

"You feeling alright there Eren? You...you don't look so good." Levi took a seat in the kitchen chair just next to mine and was starring at me intently. I didn't know what to say, the words wanted to come out, but I wanted to keep them put. I didn't want Levi to look at me like I was stupid and kick me to the streets. I didn't want him to regret saving a dumb kid like me. I just sighed and got up moving into the living room. I sat on the couch putting my head in my hands taking deep breaths. You can do this Eren...just say it like it is. If he can't accept it then fuck him...right? 

I didn't realize I was pulling at my hair so tightly until Levi placed his hand over mine opening my fists and keeping them in his hands. 

"Hey Eren, what's wrong?" He was sitting down beside me on the couch rubbing my hands in his and it just seemed so soothing, almost as my mother used to do. I slowly looked up and as soon as I did a tear came flowing down my face, then another and then they just kept coming. Yet I was silent, finally after however long of Levi comforting me I burst. Everything just came out. 

"I'm such a terrible son." I sniffled rubbing my eye with the back of my hand. 

"Ere-" I cut Levi off. If I didn't do it now I don't think I ever would. 

"L-levi its my. My fault my mom's d-dead." Levi's eyes widened a bit before he began rubbing my shoulder and back trying to keep me calm. He must have known in a way that I was finally opening up to him.

"I. We...we were going for a d-drive because she loved car rides...and w-well someone was speeding beside us, honking there horn...just being distracting. I'm so dumb...I have a temper and I just flipped them off. I thought they were gonna finally leave. Leave us alone." A hiccup and a few fresh tears came from me and I began rocking back and forth, as Levi did his best to keep me calm. 

"They passed us. I guess they thought they were cool with their big stupid fucking truck. They slammed on there breaks. I wasn't ready. I wasn't fucking ready for it!" As I shouted the last sentenced I quited down again. Memories of that night...almost a year ago kept flashing through my mind.

"We slammed into them. M-mom went. She went through the wind shield. Levi do you understand how bad I fucked up!?" I dug the heel of my hands into my eyes trying to hold the tears in barley able to catch a breath. 

"That's why my dad started beating me! I'm a stupid fuck up. I stopped doing art because it was something me and mom shared and I promised my dad I wouldn't! I promised him since I killed mom I would get rid of another huge part of my life!" Levi just kept sitting there, rubbing my back and listening. He knew I wasn't finished and he wasn't about to interrupt.

"Well guess what!?" Sadness was beginning to turn into anger. "I didn't stop! Dad found out and he hit me! I'm the only one to blame for my shit of a life! I fucking asked for it...my dad deserves fucking better because he gave birth to such a piece of shit! I'm sure you already know my hand and knee were both him. Fuck Levi...you don't even deserve me. You don't want a useless killer living with you." I rubbed my eyes again and Levi still didn't speak. I wiped my face with my arm and shakily stood up. He won't want anything to do with me now.

"I-i'm just gonna go." Before I could take a step Levi stood up and wrapped me in the tightest hug I think I've ever received. 

"Fuck Yeager. Don't you ever say its your fault for getting beat. You're not a murderer. People are fucking stupid and you got shit on. It isn't your faul-" I moved away from his embrace more tears threatening to fall. 

"Don't you fucking say it wasn't my fault! It was, I could've held my temper! I could have ignored them! I'm a dumb fucking human being!" I went to walk to the door but Levi beat me there standing in front of it.

"Get out o-of my way." I just wanted to leave I wanted to walk until I couldn't walk no more and collapse in the middle of no where, where no one could find me ever.

"You must fucking think I'm dumb." Levi grabbed my arm that was hanging down and pulled me back over to the couch gently pushing me back to sit down.

"Dammit Eren. No one deserves to be beat. No matter what. Fuck." Levi was pacing back and forth just in front of me before stopping directly over me. 

"Listen Eren. You need to understand that although yes the world can be a shitty place you need to stay strong. Sorry but your dad is part of the shit in this world. What you did was an accident caused by some filthy scumbags. That doesn't mean you need to get shit on over it." Levi was holding onto my shoulders looking at me intently making sure I was paying attention. 

"I'm gonna tell you something Eren. Just a couple years ago I lived with my uncle Kenny and the same shit went down. I was in the same position you are now and I know its shitty. It took me a while to get out of my slump but my friends helped me, and I realized some people in this world aren't worth your pain. There is so many good people out there just waiting to befriend you. So just think about it. Just because one piece of scum decides you need to be put down, do they rule over the other 100 that love you?" I had no words. Levi was right yet I still felt so wrong inside. I was being a fucking baby, and once again the tears fell more uncontrollably. My body was racked with sobs and I tried to speak between breaths. 

"L-levi. Levi...sorry. Im- s-sorry." I wrapped my arms around his waste as he was still standing in front of me and just kept sobbing into his stomach. 

"Don't say sorry Eren." Levi held my head and played with my hair at an attempt to calm me. 

"B-but I a-" 

"You just need to focus on breathing right now Eren ok? Thank-you for sharing with me. Really." A couple more sobs ripped through me as I still clung to Levi. He pulled back a bit just enough so he could bring my head up by my chin and look at my tear stained face. 

"Everything is going to get better Eren. I fucking promise." With that Levi bent down just a bit and placed a small kiss on my forehead before pulling me back into him. My face I'm sure turned red and he let me cry out my frustrations.


	16. Levi P.O.V : Confessing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren gives Levi something unexpected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is a fluff chapter, because well my other chapters weren't so fluffy ;) so enjoyyy!

Eren opened up to me and it broke my heart. Don't get me wrong, I was absolutely touched that he felt like he could trust me but his story was a sad one. After that night I realized I held a big portion of Eren's life in my hands. I had to be there for him just like my friends were there for me and keep him in one piece even if I had to use a little glue. Eren fell asleep on me last night after opening himself up completely so I carried him to the bed where I finally crashed as well from a long day. 

The next morning I woke up to a still sleeping Eren and decided that he deserved a good breakfast. So silently slipping out of the room I made my way to the kitchen to prepare bacon, eggs, and hash browns. Not much later I heard someone come into the room shuffling there feet behind me. 

"Hey Levi. That smells really good." Eren was rubbing his eyes walking up to the stove where I was standing to see what I was making. 

"I see now...the only way to wake you up in the morning is by waving some food in front of your nose." Eren smiled and walked over to the kitchen table taking a seat. He looked better then yesterday but still looked emotionally drained. 

Finishing the food I carried the plates to the table and placed them down. "So I figured I'd stay home today and we could take it easy watch some movies or something, if you're okay with that."

"Ya that would be nice." Eren picked up his fork and began pushing his food around. "Uh. Levi?" I turned my attention away from my plate and gazed into Eren's eyes, slightly nodding for him to continue.

"Well...just, thank you. For everything I mean. I just...well...never mind." Eren shook his head and shoved a piece of bacon in his mouth. 

"Really don't thank me...no need." I really wanted to know what Eren was going to say but like usual I ignored the fact knowing he would tell me if he wanted to. After breakfast we went to the couch gathering blankets and setting out a few movies to play. Eren seemed pretty into whatever actiony flick was on TV but I was too distracted by his face. The small expressions he would make, the way his eyes glowed, his lips. I was way in over my head. There was no way Eren would ever like someone like me in that way, hell he probably doesn't even like guys. 

After lunch we put on another movie but the whole time I kept catching Eren looking over at me cracking his knuckles over and over. 

"Movie too boring?" As soon as I said that Eren's face got a little darker and after trying to talk without stuttering he spoke. 

"Uh no...well I'm just kinda bored the movies good though." He rubbed the back of his neck and after contemplating millions of different ideas in my head I finally had the perfect one. 

"Hey Eren, that hand of yours is feeling a lot better now right?" Eren just nodded and I took that as my queue and marched to my supply closet in my room. After digging through a few drawers I pulled out a sketchbook, some pencils, eraser, and even found some coloured pencils. Arms full I walked back in the living room and laid down the items on the coffee table. Eren's eyes widened a bit and he had on a huge smile. 

"You're probably itching to draw something up, I had some old stuff that I never really used so...have at er." And like a flip switched Eren jumped up to the table grabbing the sketch book and flipping to a blank page touching it softly before grabbing a sharpened pencil. Before starting he looked up at me. 

"You sure it's okay?" 

"Of course, I wouldn't have offered if it wasn't. Plus I'm gonna do a little reading, you can keep the sketchbook too." Eren smiled and repositioned himself on the couch so his back was to the arm rest and his legs were crossed in front of him, facing the direction I was sitting to read.

I must have gotten pretty invested in my book because when I looked up at the clock it was practically 7 at night and my stomach was grumbling. I looked over to see Eren fast asleep head leaning back, and sketch book still in his lap. He really did look peaceful when doing what he loved. I walked over to put the book on the coffee table but when I picked it up my eyes got bigger and a small smile was plastered to my face. Looking through the pages I saw multiple sketches of me that were to good to be sketches. I kept flipping and there was pictures of two people holding hands, beautiful landscapes and smiling faces. Closing the book I placed it down and decided to just cook some soup since it was fast.

Not much later I heard a yawn and looked over to see Eren stretching and standing up. 

"Hey brat, nice drawings." Eren's face turned red and he stuttered out a quick thank-you. 

"You know you shouldn't be snooping at other peoples art." Eren decided while nodding his head. 

"Well maybe if you didn't fall asleep in the middle of the day you could've told me no." Eren blushed again and walked back to the kitchen table where I placed the bowls of soup. 

"You know Levi, you would be a great house wife your cooking is great." It was my turn to blush and I just thought to blame it on the heat of the soup. 

"Could use a little pepper though." Eren looked up smirking staring my way.

"Brat. Get your own damn pepper, if it isn't that good you don't have to eat it." 

"Wha..no its really good doesn't need anything, I was kidding." Eren mumbled grabbing the bowl and attempting to just drink down the rest. Which would've been fine except for the fact that it was piping hot. Practically dropping the bowl onto the table spilling half the bowl onto his lap, Eren quickly stood keeping his tongue out and trying to hold his hot pants away from his crotch to avoid burning himself further. After dancing around for a bit I hadn't realized he stopped to listen to me laugh. 

I immediately stopped and threw some paper towels on the spilt food. "Go get changed brat."

As Eren walked away he threw out one last comment. "You have a cute laugh Levi." And he quickly scurried to the room closing the door.

I was frozen for who knows how long. I'm not cute. Don't call me cute. Did he say I was cute? No he said my laugh was. He was probably making fun of it. Oh my lord shut up Levi, he's getting to your head. 

Finally finishing up cleaning his mess I put the dishes away and Eren came out changed and plopped back into the couch. I couldn't help myself so I asked..."Eren, what were you going to say this morning? You know when you were acting like a scared little chihuahua and decided not to finish." It was like he had a severe sunburn the way his face instantly changed colour. 

"Nothing. Nope I wasn't going to say anything important, it doesn't matter." Liar, now I really wanted to know. 

"Well if it isn't anything super important you can tell me now, I'm not busy I have time to listen." Eren shook his head and sat on the couch so he wasn't facing me, sticking his head in his lap. 

"Oh I see do you need some help sharing?" I moved closer behind him and leaned over his back so I could look at his face. His eyes were closed and he was slightly smacking his face. "Eren? What are you doing?" He silently yelped when he opened his eyes and tried crawling over the arm rest of the couch. I was to much in his way for him to succeed, and then poked his side receiving a small covered giggle from him. Getting an idea I pulled Eren down on his back repositioning myself so I was over top of him. His eyes widened and as I lowered my hands to his waist he shook his head repeatedly and then a burst of laughter attacked my ears as I attacked his sides. 

"P-please, ha-Levi-ha st-stop." Small tears, good tears were forming in the corner of his eyes as he laughed.

"Will you tell me what you were going to say?" I more demanded then asked.

"F-fine...ok okAY." I stopped and stared down at him as he caught his breath and wiped his eyes. I didn't move until I realized I was straddling him and this was probably a very uncomfortable position. 

"Dammit now my sides hurt." He let out a final breath as he sat up only to began cracking his fingers. 

"Well. I can't believe I'm saying this. Can't I just not?" 

"Not unless you want to be attacked again." I said smirking and quite satisfied if I do say so myself. 

I was sitting right next to him as he took a couple breaths and then spoke.

"Jeez, okay well the thing is I don't really know how to say this. I...well I just...." He was holding the back of his neck and I just kept staring intently at him. I sighed because this wasn't really getting anywhere as Eren just kept repeating himself.

"It's okay Eren you don't have to tell me. Sorry for trying to force you." I stood up walking towards the room kind of feeling like a dick for forcing something like this on him, and making him stressed out. 

I heard someone coming from behind me and a "Levi wait!" As he grabbed my hand to keep me from going anywhere. He spun me around so I was looking at him and squeezed my hand tighter. Before I knew what was happening lips were on mine, it only took me a second to reciprocate the feeling and move back towards him. It wasn't anything to steamy but it was gentle. We pulled apart and Eren was a blushing mess and I won't deny that I wasn't either. 

I guess I was wrong, the brat could feel the same towards me.


	17. Worse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren panics and needs Levi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo things are still bad but of course everything will eventually get better also I think this is the longest chapter I've written, which still isn't probably that long :) anyhow trigger warning for panic attacks ya? Ok sorry heh read on...

I was exhausted all day. Letting everything out, and sharing my life with Levi was hard and I allowed him to take a piece of my heart. I don't know if it was the way he cared for me the past couple of days, making sure I was safe, and giving me a place to stay; or if it was the way his steel grey eyes with that hint of blue starred at me. Not a bored unimpressed stare like he gave to everyone else, but one that held so many emotions rather then none. Maybe it was the way he would smirk, and I only say that because he would try not to smile, whether it was because he was trying to hold his image or maybe he didn't like his smile but I sure as hell did. Honestly I think my positive feelings towards Levi have been building up every since I started working at Wings of Freedom, but I feel kinda stupid for it taking me this long to realize those feelings especially under the circumstances. 

My day already started out nice when Levi told me he was staying home. I woke up to the smells of a delicious breakfast and I was set on telling him. I needed Levi to know how I felt. Of course i'm a wimp so I chickened out and brushed it off. Just as I thought Levi would give up the idea he asked later in the night what was on my mind. I needed to tell him but couldn't make the words. He was walking away...it was now or never. Before he could be pulled from my grasp I threw away all cowardliness and stopped him in his tracks. It was as if all time stood still. Before I could change my mind I bent down to kiss him. I thought I was going to pass out. This was probably the most nerve wracking thing I've ever done. Levi didn't move, his lips still, but as I was about to pull away he began returning the feeling. It wasn't heated but the movement on both ends reciprocated our feelings for one another. 

 

Pulling away finally from something I've wanted to do for a long time Levi had a vague hint of pink tinging his cheeks and a smile. I could probably say the same for myself.   
"Uh that, that's what I wanted to say well...you know." I wasn't sure what to exactly say afterwards more so waiting for a reaction from Levi. 

"Damn brat, if that's how you talk I would never let you shut up." I blushed realizing that in fact kissing Levi wasn't talking but hell it still held a thousand words that couldn't be said verbally. Once again Levi's lips were on mine with just a bit more hunger behind it. I was shocked to say the least and couldn't think apart from my lips moving to taste every part of him. Pulling away for a breath Levi spoke.

"Well we should probably get some shut eye, I don't know about you but its been a long day." I just nodded in agreement. I followed Levi into the room where we changed into pjs and got comfy in bed. Lying on the bed close to the edge my back to Levi I couldn't stop thinking about how perfectly our kiss went. The bed dipped beside me and I felt someone slide under the covers.

"You had the balls to kiss me and now you can't lye closer then a foot away from me?" Red was probably going to be the permanent colour of my face as I felt Levi's arm wrap around me pulling me closer to him. One arm over my body hugging me close the other playing with my hair as our bodies couldn't get any closer. Before I could realize it I was dozing off in a peaceful sleep along with Levi.

 

I was unlucky. Probably the most unluckiest person on this damned earth. People say things get worse before they get better...well when the hell was better coming. 

I woke up around 5am Levi still sound asleep. I was on the verge of having a nightmare but woke myself up before anything too bad. I didn't want to go back to sleep in fear of it trying to seep back in my dreams. I decided I would get out since I've been secluded in this apartment for what seemed like too long and go get me and Levi some breakfast. I wrote a quick note putting it on the counter in case Levi woke up and headed out the door. 

It was still dark out but the sun was coming up soon. It felt nice to be outside after a while. I walked to a local coffee shop about 5 minutes from Levi's and ordered some food and drinks. I was waiting at the other end of the counter for my order when my day decided to be a shitty piece of shit. Generally I was still on edge about well, just about everything. So when I heard someone being yelled at and a loud bang I started to panic. My breathing was coming out shallow and all I could see was dad standing in front of me. I closed my eyes leaning on the counter trying to calm down. Yet I just kept seeing him. Why now, what is wrong with me. He isn't here. He isn't here. My chest was burning and it felt like a thousand books were sitting on top of it. 

"Sir are you alrig-" someone grabbed my shoulder and that threw me over the edge. I wasn't paying attention so I didn't see who it was at first and my stupid mind only thought of dad. Before they could finish their sentence I mumbled sorry and quickly walked out of the shop without anything. Fuck I need to calm down. I need to go back to Levi. Why am I such an idiot. I can't even go to a damn coffee shop without looking like a mental case. Tears were burning my eyes as I continued to walk, practically running trying to get back indoors, to Levi, in bed. 

I was so out of it I hadn't paid attention when crossing the road. I heard car tires screech and someone beep their horn followed by a few cusses. My face must have been one of absolute terror as I stumbled the rest of the way across the road into a full on sprint. Images, unpleasant images were flashing through my head and they wouldn't leave me alone. Mom. The car. Blood. I had no idea where I was running I just didn't stop. I kept hearing my dad's voice in my head 'it was your fault.' It was my fault. I couldn't breath, I couldn't find the one precious piece of oxygen I so badly needed. I felt like I was running forever because my stupid legs were giving out. My head was throbbing and I couldn't think or see straight. Eventually I felt the impact of the ground. It wasn't cement, but grass so I must have wandered into a park or something, which would explain all the small blurs of trees I saw. My face hurt from the impact to the ground and my elbows were aching along with my legs. I just lay there crying. Crying because I'm a fucking baby. I was tired, exhausted actually and nothing felt better then closing my eyes and curling up crying and crying until my mind went blank.

LEVI POV

I woke up around 6...I think. Doesn't matter all I knew is the warmth I knew as Eren was no longer beside me. I headed to the kitchen to see if he was there but only found a note.

'I decided to get some fresh air, so I'm going to pick us up some breakfast! -Eren' 

He must not have left too long ago and hopefully he'd be back soon. Since I lived close to a couple cafes, he shouldn't take to long. 

Half an hour past and I was starting to panic. Why the hell isn't he back yet. Damn brat better be okay. I sent out a couple texts hoping he brought his phone since I didn't see it on the night stand, waiting for an answer. After pacing for another half an hour, which I'm sure the downstairs neighbors will love me for I had enough. I called Eren about 20 times and probably sent out over 50 texts. Something must have been wrong. It's been over an hour since I woke up so who knows how much longer before then Eren was gone. 

I threw on my shoes and quickly locked up practically running to the car to go search for Eren. I drove around the block twice, then through the shopping district about 5 times until I decided I'd get out and look on foot. I checked every place that looked like it served breakfast and some. Running into a local cafe I frantically asked the barista if someone with brown hair and blue green eyes like the ocean came in that they remembered. After the barista pointed out a few more features to be sure it was Eren they said he'd been in here almost 2 hours ago. Before I could say thank you someone just a tad shorter then me with a blonde bob asked if the person I was talking about was Eren. 

"Yes! How do you know Eren? Wait...are you Armin?" Maybe he knew where Eren was. 

"Uh ya I'm Armin, is Eren missing?" The blonde looked a little worried and upset. 

"Oh please don't tell me you have no idea where he is. He's been gone for about 2 hours." I was really hoping for something, some kind of hint as to where he may be.

"Sorry I have no clue. I haven't talked to Eren in a while. He's been getting into some bad stuff lately, I don't really know what... he doesn't tell me anything, so I kind of just got upset and we haven't been talking." Armin shrugged and it pissed me off. If he was so 'upset' about Eren not telling him anything why didn't he do something about it instead of throw him out the door. I was seething ready to blow my top. 

In a voice as controlled yet dangerous as possible I looked at Armin. "You have no idea how much shit Eren is going through. The stupidest thing you could have done was throw him away like a piece of trash just because you were 'upset'. If you were really his friend he wouldn't of had a lot of shit happen to him." I knew that was harsh, and I knew even if Armin was there for him shit still could've happened because communication works both ways. I was just playing the blame game because I was angry and afraid. 

I dashed out of the cafe thinking. Where the hell is he. Fuck please Eren be okay. After checking a few more places I remembered to check the park. It's where he was last time something happened, and I mentally punched myself for not thinking about it before. Forgetting about my car I ran to the park as fast as I could. 

As I got closer I only ran faster seeing an ambulance surrounded by tons of people who were probably walking through the park. Oh God please don't be Eren, please please please. I ran faster pushing through the crowd to see the last person I wanted to in this position. Eren was lying in the grass in a fetal position covering his head, whimpering. He seemed to be asleep yet conscious all at once. The paramedics pulled out a stretcher after telling everyone to get back because they were crowding. 

The male paramedic put a hand on Eren's shoulder to see if he could wake him up first. I was standing frozen in shock unable to move closer. But that changed as soon as Eren opened his eyes and upon seeing the man screamed and tried getting away. Eren tried standing but only fell back over, the man catching him only for Eren to try and struggle free. I ran over to him almost being un aloud until I told them we were together. Instantly I placed my arms around him and he continued to struggle until I whispered small "its okay's, and every thing will be alright." Finally Eren realized it was me and clung to me sobbing harshly into my shoulder. 

The stretcher was brought closer and Eren was sat up on it not letting me go leaving me standing in front of him still clinging to each other. 

"L-levi, Levi..." He kept sobbing and it hadn't seemed to die down. 

"Shh Eren, I'm here take some deep breaths okay?" I was rubbing his back and holding his head into me. Finally his sobs subsided and the paramedics were standing by waiting to check up on him, and most of the people were gone.

"I- Levi- I just wanted to get breakf-fast. Stupid, I'm so stupid." He was clinging to the back of my shirt and he finally raised his head to look at me. 

"Eren. You are not stupid." I kissed his forehead. "As long as you are okay breakfast can go fuck itself." He sniffled and winced. 

"Hi Eren? I'm Nanaba, I just want to make sure you are okay, do a few quick tests." Eren slowly nodded and I went to move out of the way but he latched onto my hand tightly, so the paramedics said it'd be fine to just sit beside him on the stretcher. 

After a few tests were taken and Eren refusing to go back to the hospital with them since nothing major was wrong, the paramedic said Eren should be fine but should take it easy and get plenty of rest. The paramedics were gone and Eren was left standing beside me as I helped to keep him up, looking drained and ready to get some much needed sleep. 

Half way back to the apartment since it was closer to us then my car was, and me not wanting to give Eren any more added stress with a car ride his voice broke a bit as he spoke. "L-levi. How long...how long was I out here for? All I remember is being at the cafe, and then the car...a-and I just, I'm sorry." Eren quickly rubbed his eye to stop tears from coming again. 

"I talked to the lady at the cafe and she said you left about 2 hours ago so I'm gonna say about that long." Eren sniffled and sighed. 

"I can't believe I freaked out so badly. Levi it got so bad. I didn't know where I was anymore. I-I'm scared." I hugged Eren in tighter towards me as we walked. 

"The mind can be a scary thing Eren. What...what do you think about a therapist?" I hated bringing up the idea but I wanted what was best for Eren. "I could even come, we could do it together." 

Eren was quite for a while and I'd thought I'd scared him into silence until he finally agreed. "Y-ya I think it's a g-good idea. You'd really come with me?" I stopped us in front of the apartment building bringing my lips to Eren's just because it seemed like the right thing to do. 

"Eren, I would do anything for you, hell I'd walk to the ends of the earths to make you happy." Eren gave me a barley there smile and upon getting into the apartment I went with Eren back to the room so he could lye down. We just talked about nothing important until he was to tired to keep up a conversation any longer and fell asleep.


	18. Best Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren talks to Armin. Levi talks to Eren.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im pretty slow at updating whoops .-. Also...there are probably things in this fic that I write about and then forget sooo like if you notice anything and it seems important to the story line just lemme know cause I tend to forget hhhheh....anywayyyys Enjoy!

I woke up the next morning surrounded by a pleasant warmth. Legs were tangled and Levi's arm was thrown over my waist pulling me in. I turned over enough so I could see his face and that he was already awake staring down at me. 

"Mornin'. Did you sleep alright?" He had a hand in my hair softly playing with it. 

"Mhm." I nodded and nuzzled back into Levi's chest. We both had feelings for each other, hell before I even kissed him he slept by my side and helped me continue on with life. Now things were just...nicer? I don't know...but I felt wanted for once. I was able to cuddle with Levi like this without worrying if he minded. I knew he enjoyed it just as much. We had yet to talk about whether we would call ourselves a couple, but I think neither of us cared about a title because well...we just knew. 

Levi brushed my hair back out of my face and pecked the top of my head before rolling out of bed earning a groan of disappointment from me. 

"I'm just going to make us breakfast. I don't think either of us ate much yesterday and I'm hungry...so you stay here and I'll be right back." With that Levi scurried out of the bedroom and I could hear drawers opening and pans being moved around. I decided I'd play with my phone while I waited but as soon as I picked it up I noticed 15 missed calls and 20 text messages. Quickly I unlocked it to see who it was from and noticed everything was from Armin.

Upon seeing this I felt a knot in my stomach. I was such an ass, and to my best friend. I read over the texts and basically they consisted of 'I'm sorry, please call me, are you okay?' Then out of the 15 missed calls there was one voice message. Closing my eyes I pressed play waiting to hear what he had to say.

'E-Eren. I'm sorry. Really really sorry. I was just being selfish and...please just call me. Someone at a cafe that knew you said you were missing...and please, are you okay? S-stay safe Eren...' 

The line went dead and I let my phone slip from my hand. How could I let this fight get the better of me. I was sitting up in bed head in my hands, trying my best to stop any tears from falling. This is all my fault, if I would have just told Armin to begin with...he would understand. He could've helped me before things got worse. I'm such an asshole. 

"Eren, foods read-... Eren?" I sniffled and kept my head down hearing Levi moving closer. 

"Hey, Eren what's wrong?" I just shook my head not trusting my voice at the moment. I felt that if I spoke I would break down and I'm sick of doing that. Breaking down every time something in my life doesn't happen the way I want it to. 

The bed dipped lower and a hand came under my chin slowly lifting my head so I was looking into determined grey orbs. "Eren...please, what's the matter?" I took a few deep breaths and then pointed to my phone. 

"A-Armin-"

"What did that little fuck do?!" Levi looked angry but I quickly calmed him shaking my head. 

"N-no, he...he's been trying to contact me. Says he's sorry, I-I just feel like such a dick letting this fight carry on. He's my best friend and because I was too ignorant to tell him why I kept running from home I lost his trust. I-I just...I don't know if I deserve to have my best friend back, I should be the one apologizing." After finally explaining why I was distraught Levi just hugged me. We sat there for a bit until he quickly went to the kitchen bringing back two plates of breakfast. 

"You know what brat. You are a wonderful person. Clearly Armin knows that, and although you guys messed up a little doesn't mean you should stay away from each other forever. You BOTH screwed up. Communication should go both ways. Armin should have understood when you weren't ready to tell him what was going on...but you should understand Armin's concern as well since he was completely in the dark." I nodded my head and we kept eating until we were both finished. 

"I-I should call him shouldn't I?" I was staring at my phone possibly waiting for it to ring first. 

"Only if you really want to." I nodded about to dial his number.

"Oh Levi...did you happen to run into him the other day...at the cafe?" Levi's face turned into one of 'almost' embarrassment and brushing off the question grabbing the dishes and went to bring them to the kitchen. 

Sitting alone in bed I quickly dialed Armin's number and pressed talk. The faster I did it the less time I had to change my mind. After a couple rings a voice finally answered.

'E-Eren!?'

"H-hey...Ar I-I'm so sor-"

'No, Eren...I'm sorry.' The line was quiet for a second before Armin spoke again.

'I did such a terrible thing. Eren whatever is going on I...I don't know what's going on, just it's up to you to decide whether you want to tell me or not. I did such a terrible thing and I feel awful.'

"N-no Armin, it's okay...I should have told you something...you're my best friend and I was being stupid. I know I can trust you, I was just afraid." 

'I shouldn't have kicked you out though, d-do you think we can try being friends again?' I went to nod but remembered Armin couldn't see me.

"That would be nice...I think we should hang out soon, we can t-talk about some things." Once again the line was quiet as if Armin was thinking, I really wanted to tell him about some of the shit that's been going on. I needed to have my best friend back and the only way to do that, I think was to regain each others trust.

'Ya, that'd be great Eren...and Eren, don't feel like you have to tell me anything because you feel forced to...I-I understand now, really.'

"It's okay Ar, I think we should clear up some of this mess...I miss you, I could use seeing your coconut head everyday again." Armin chuckled at my statement and I smiled.

'Same here...well except the coconut part. I will text you a time to come over probably when my grandpa isn't home.'

"Sounds good Ar, I'll see ya soon."

'See ya later Eren.' 

With that the line went dead. A whole weight was lifted off my shoulders but a new one was added. Ya, me and Armin made up...but how do I tell him everything that's been going on. I couldn't hold it off anymore and I didn't want to, he deserved to know. 

After plugging my phone back into its charger I took a shower changing into comfy clothes and met Levi sitting in the living room reading a book. I sat down beside him curling into him putting my head on his shoulder. He slowly lowered his book marking his page and putting it down. He leaned into me throwing an arm over my shoulders hugging me in tighter.

"So, how'd it go brat?" 

"It went good. We made up...I just I need to tell him about what's been going on I'm just afraid, not sure how to even begin." Levi nodded, not saying anything. I didn't expect him to have an answer to everything, it was nice that he was just there to listen.

 

It wasn't too late only about 4 in the afternoon when I woke up from my nap. Levi was in the kitchen on his laptop searching for a phone number when he noticed I was awake and wagged his finger for me to come sit with him. 

"So Eren, do you still agree to what we talked about yesterday?" I thought back when I realized he was talking about the therapist. I shrugged and looked away. 

"C'mon Eren that isn't an answer...I'm not going to force you but I think it'd be good to at least try." I kept looking away from him giving him no answer. Yesterday I just agreed because I was tired, and well after what happened well...ya. Now that I had the day to think it over I was scared. 

"Eren, please just answer me. I will be with you the whole time if you want. I really think you should try it out just the one time at least." 

"Because I'm fucked up." It was barley above a whisper but it was enough for Levi to hear.

"Don't say shit like that." I finally turned around in my chair facing him.

"Well it's true. A normal person wouldn't have had a fucking mental break down and forget where the fuck they were, when all they were trying to do is order breakfast!" I quickly wiped my eyes and got up to go back into the bedroom. Only for Levi to follow me. 

"Eren, shit happens. It isn't your fault that life dealt you a shitty hand. You don't go to a therapist because you're fucked up. You go to get better, to make life easy again." I threw the blanket over my head turning away from Levi. I was acting like a child but I couldn't help it.

"I-i'm scared. I'm already nervous about talking to Armin...h-how do you expect me to talk to a stranger."  
Levi pulled the blanket off my head kneeling on the floor in front of the bed so he was eye level with me and right in front of my face. 

"Eren, I know it's scary. But remember a therapist talks to tons of people all with different problems, it is their job...they aren't going to ridicule you they are there to help." He gave me a peck on the nose and wiped my eyes.

"I will be in the kitchen and if you change your mind let me know. Just remember I will be by your side the whole time." Levi got up and walked back to the kitchen waiting hopefully for the sudden change of mind. 

I was terrified. I felt stressed and I hadn't even told Levi I'd agree. Just the thought of another person knowing made me feel sick. But maybe if I did have Levi with me I could get through it. I didn't want to be such a burden to Levi. I didn't want him to feel like he had to solve all my problems. If I ever had another panic attack I didn't want Levi to feel like it was his fault because he couldn't give me better advice. 

I walked back to the kitchen arms crossed and sat back down at the table.

"Fine." Levi raised an eyebrow tapping the table.

"I said fine. Just call before I change my mind." I didn't uncross my arms and just kept staring at him with a cross look.

"You sure there brat? You look constipated." That quickly broke what I thought was an angry demeanor.

"Yes I'm sure but you have to come with me. Now hurry up and call." I shoved his phone at him and he dialed the number.

"Hi I would like to make an appointment." 

*silence because I couldn't hear what the other person was saying.*

"Ya that'd be great." 

*more silence*

"Eren Jaeger and Levi Ackerman."

*more fucking silence.* 

"Thank you. Bye now."

Levi hung up and closed his laptop walking over to the calendar on the wall.

"So Thursday at 2 we have an appointment. Sound good?" 

"No." Levi chuckled and walked over pulling me into a hug. He pulled back a bit then leaned back in pressing his lips to mine. Every time he kissed me like this I couldn't help but blush, I still wasn't used to it.

"I'm proud of you Eren. Really." I blushed even harder and just dug my head in-between his shoulder and neck.

"How about we order some food, because I am lazy and then we can watch something on Netflix." I nodded my head in agreement. Latley we have been doing this alot, but it was nice to just relax and be close to Levi as much as I could be.

 

Before bed I got a text from Armin about hanging out tomorrow. I was excited and a little nervous but I knew things would be okay in the end. 

I ended up falling asleep on the couch to some movie about a crazy psycho chick, but was clearly moved through the night as I was woken the next morning, once again to a pleasant and welcoming warmth.


	19. Forgiven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armin and Eren make up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo like I don't really have much to say here except enjoy I guess!

I kept telling myself I'd be fine. Over and over again I'd repeat it, yet I couldn't seem to hold it together. I woke up too early for my liking most likely because of the anxious feeling I had just thinking about seeing Armin today. I didn't bother waking up Levi and took the time to have a shower and at least try to calm down my overflowing thoughts. I sat on the couch in the living room hoping for something, hell I don't even know what for. Time must have sped by because before I knew it Levi was awake coming to hug me from behind placing a kiss on my head.

"Mornin', you're up early?" Levi spoke into my ear arms still wrapped around my neck as he yawned.

"Uh ya I've been up for a bit. Guess I'm just a little nervous about today." I let my head rest on his arms as he slowly released me and fell over the back of the couch so he was lying partly on me. 

"Armin right? What time you meeting him?" I nodded my head and told him we were meeting for lunch. Levi nodded and kept drifting in and out of sleep as I was twirling pieces of his hair around my finger. I was starting to get tired again and almost fell back to sleep until Levi snapped out of it.

"Well brat before you put me back to sleep I'm gonna get up and make some food." With that Levi made his way to the kitchen and it made me smile. The feeling of just being able to wake up in the morning to the person you love and feel safe with made me forget about the built up stress I felt. 

After breakfast I decided to get dressed in a pair of black jeans and my green pullover. The minutes slowly ticking by anticipating the meeting to come. I shouldn't say it like it's a bad thing...really I'm ecstatic me and Armin are going to make amends. These stupid nerves though they just won't piss off. I never used to be a super out there person to begin with. But with Armin I was on a whole other level I could just be myself. This year was shit though...mom...dad, just everything has fucked me over. I'm more closed off then usual and that's probably why Armin got worried to begin with. 

While waiting for lunch me and Levi just lazed around his place, apparently though we lazed around for quite a while as it was already time for me to go. I rolled myself off my current spot on the bed trudging my way to the front door to slip on my shoes. 

"Well don't you just look so happy to leave me." I just flipped Levi off...cause well he's just a shit. Levi smirked and walked to where I was placing a kiss next to my mouth.

"Remember you don't have to say anything you don't want to."

"Ya I know. I'll see you later, don't miss me too much." I turned about to leave the door but before it closed Levi smacked my ass and I let out a very...lets just say not so manly yelp. I attempted glaring at Levi as I closed the door and headed to the coffee shop down the road.

I stood at the door peering inside, already seeing Armin sitting there with a drink patiently waiting. I almost had the gall to turn around and walk straight back to Levi's, but I knew I had to...no wanted to do this. Slowly I opened the door and Armin waved at me with a smile on his face. Actually I'm pretty sure I was smiling too, although nervously. I sat down across from him in a smaller secluded area where he already had a coffee ordered for me. 

"Hey Armin." I looked down at the coffee cup peeling back the lid.

"Hi Eren. How are you?" Armin was just staring at me. My head was down but I could feel his eyes on me.

"Uh...good Ar. Well alright. How about you?" I kept picking at the coffee lid too afraid to look up. I felt like a nervous child speaking to someone for the first time. I felt stupid because this was my best friend...why the hell was I nervous. 

"I've been good Eren." Armin took a sip of his drink and then slowly I took a sip of mine as well not sure what to say next. 

"L-listen...Eren...I'm really sorry." Armin broke the silence that was building between us and filled it with a whole new kind of tension.

"It's okay...I mean this was partly my fault and I'm really sorry." I took another sip from my coffee nervously chewing the rim of the cup. 

"Hey, Ar? Wanna go for a walk I kinda wanna talk about stuff where its a bit more secluded." This is it I would tell him and if I felt like I was going to snap I could just walk it off. 

"Uh sure Eren how about through the park?" I nodded my head getting up from my spot and headed to the door throwing out my empty drink on the way. We both walked for a bit before we got onto one of the trails at the park where it wasn't so lively and Armin kept stealing glances my way. He'd try making small talk, about the weather, about something he read, just about anything. Why did this become so hard. Just hanging out with my best friend you'd think it'd be easy. I had to do this now or I don't think we'd ever have what we used to.

"My...my dad..." I stopped taking a deep breath looking away from Armin as we kept walking trying to hold back tears from falling. Deciding I could hold back a bit I continued.

"My dad...he found out about my art." I told Armin a while back how since my mom died my dad would get really upset when he saw me creating something...so I decided to hide it from him. Armin just hummed in response to acknowledge that he was listening and for me to continue. 

I wasn't sure what to say next...how to say it. I didn't want him to judge me, I knew he wouldn't but I couldn't get that through my thick skull. "He...he got really" I sniffled looking away once again feeling a tear slide down my cheek. "He got really mad Armin." I took in a sharp breath and I wasn't sure i'd be able to hold it in much longer. Armin put his hand on my shoulder slowing our walking to a halt.

"Do you wanna sit down Eren?" He pointed to a nearby bench looking at me with concerned eyes. I nodded and we made our way over, sitting down. It was quiet for a bit...I was just leaned over into my hands trying to figure out what else to say.

"E-Eren... Did he...did he hurt you?" Armin questioned quietly almost as if he said it too loud I would run away. I sniffled and my body shook, I looked away because I was embarrassed. Yet slowly but surely I nodded my head. Then I heard a sniffle...but it didn't come from me, then another, and before I knew it I was encompassed by my best friends arms who held me tighter then ever. We probably looked like nut cases to anyone that happened to pass by on the trail. 

"I-I I had no idea. Eren I- we fought and I just- I didn't know." Armin wiped at his eyes before he continued speaking because I was still utterly speechless and felt like running away.

"How long?" Good question it may have not seemed too long but it sure as hell felt like eternity, long enough to make me into more of a fucked mess then I already was.

"Since graduation. I-I'm staying with Levi. The guy you said you met." I hiccupped trying to stop the tears from falling. "It got pretty bad...hell it got really bad. I don't blame you for any of this Armin. You-you didn't know...I'm the idiot for keeping it a secret. I'm s-sorry." I sobbed once more trying my best to hold it back once again looking away. I hated crying in front of my friends, not that they'd care...I just felt like a wimp, felt vulnerable and weak.

We sat there for a bit longer Armin's arm around me and me resting my head on his shoulder. After I finally stopped crying I sat up and wiped my eyes. It was a silent agreement as me and Armin stood walking towards the park exit and towards Levi's home. 

"So...what are you gonna do now?" That question hit me in a spot I just couldn't quite reach. What was I going to do now. I know Levi said I could stay with him but...what about my home...my memories...do I just abandon it forever? I shrugged and we kept walking.

"I really don't know Ar...I'm kinda lost right now but Levi's helping me find my way." Armin smiled and looked up from the sidewalk. 

"Ya know Levi sounds like a good guy." That made me happy to hear and a smile tugged at my lips.

"He really is a great guy." I hadn't realized I was smiling dreamily until Armin spoke up.

"If I didn't know any better I'd say you had a thing for this Levi fellow." I blushed and looked at the passing cars on the street. Armin nudged me with his elbow and laughed.

"Come on Eren...spill." I slapped my hands on my face dragging them down trying my best not to give anything away, but hell Armin could read me like a book.

"Fine...wemayormaynotbeathing." I mumbled it so quickly Armin laughed continuing to bug me to just tell him.

"Ok ok! We're dating! You happy now!" I chuckled...I mean I guess we never said it too one another but I'd assume that was the outcome. 

"Yes I'm happy now!" We came to a stop at the apartment entrance and Armin gave me a quick hug.

"We should hang out again soon Eren. Remember you can tell me anything...I do really worry about you even if you don't think so. I will talk to you later ya?" 

"Defiantly...thanks Armin." We waved goodbye and Armin continued the walk to wherever he parked his car. Today was difficult to say the least. I'm glad Armin and I are able to talk to each other again...just another thing that is helping me along to become a stronger person again. 

I was exhausted from the emotional bouncing around all day walking up to the apartment, I couldn't wait to be back in Levi's arms once again.


	20. Therapist: Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How the day goes for Eren and Levi before leaving to the therapists.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shit goes down...so like be prepared cause the next couple chapters some more shit is gonna go down because.... Well I have a problem for just writing shitty situations, but I mean only so when I write happy ones they will be so worth it ;) haaaaaa....ok anyways read on.

When I went back up to the apartment after hanging out with Armin, Levi was already there waiting for me dinner made...Armin and I were such a mess I hadn't even realized we didn't even have lunch. It was nice to come back to this, for him to hold me and tell me everything was going to be okay. 

Today was different. I wasn't happy nor excited about leaving the house. Today was the appointment. I know I said I'd go but now that the day is here I was panicking. Right now I was sitting in the apartment hallway a couple floors down from Levi's as I heard nothing but footsteps. How'd I get here? Well lets start with this morning...

"Eren, you need to eat." Levi pointed down at my plate a stern look on his face. My stomach felt uneasy because I was nervous. It was hard enough to tell Armin about everything...it was going to be even harder telling a complete stranger. I just picked up my fork and poked at the scrambled eggs on my plate. Levi sighed and pulled the fork from my hand.

"Fine. If you're not going to feed yourself I will feed you." He picked up a piece of egg and attempted to put it in my mouth but I kept it shut and turned my head. Honestly I would have forgotten about the appointment today if Levi hadn't reminded me this morning. But now I knew and it was like a flip switched and I was going to be the most stubborn person ever and hope Levi would say I didn't have to go.

"Don't eat then...but don't come crying to me later when you're hungry." I internally whooped at winning that fight standing up and heading back to the bedroom. I fell onto the bed throwing the blankets over me only to have them thrown back off.

"No." I just groaned sadly and threw a pillow over my face.

"Eren you need to get up and take a shower. If you're ready early you will have time to relax a bit before we go." I hated this. I knew I had to go but at the same time I was prepared to do everything in my power to make it hard for Levi. It wasn't even like I thought 'be the biggest shit head you can be today'...it was just who I was.

I grabbed the pillow that was over my head and threw it at Levi's face. When it fell Levi was looking at me dumbfounded hair all disheveled. I grabbed another pillow and hid underneath that one. It was quiet for a bit and I thought I'd won again until I heard the bed creak and the pillow was thrown off my head.

"Brat I will throw you in the shower with your clothes on if you don't go now." I hmphed and turned the other way. Levi mumbled something and before I knew it I was over his shoulder. I was hitting his back for him to let me down and he didn't even flinch walking all the way into the bathroom and putting me down on the closed toilet seat. He turned to the shower turning it on and turning back towards me.

"Don't think I won't throw you in." I turned my head and then quickly threw off my shirt shoving Levi out of the bathroom...because ya he would do just that. 

I quickly took my shower and then moved to the room to change. I only had the towel around my waist and as I was searching through the drawers for clothes I felt arms wrap around my body. Soft lips kissed my damp skin before a head was rested on my back.

"Ya know Eren...everything is going to be okay." Fuck why...he knew I didn't want to go which I most likely gave away by being a complete brat. I paused my search and leaned my head down on top of the dresser, Levi still holding me from behind.

"I-I just don't know if I can do it." I really didn't think I could I barley slept last night and was tired. My mind just wouldn't shut up no matter how hard I tried to distract myself. With how much I stressed about it last night I'm surprised I forgot about it this morning.

"Do you want to do this Eren?" There...I just had to say no, then I could calm down and go back to bed. But I felt terrible...I promised Levi I'd try at least once.

"I-I don't know. I think I should...but I can't." Levi squeezed me tighter then moved me aside picking out my clothes and handing them to me. We were gonna do this. He knew I needed the push so he was giving it to me. He wasn't being pushy, he helped me get ready making sure every step of the way I was okay, continuously reassuring me.

 

I was now sitting on the couch, Levi slipping on his shoes. "Ready brat?" I looked over at him slowly and then shook my head.

"C'mon Eren you've been through hell all day stressing out. We get the last part over and done with and you can decide to never go again."

"I...I" I can't talk if I talk I feel like I'm going to cry. I've been feeling shittier and shittier all day and felt like I was on the verge of breaking. I didn't want to tell Levi I didn't want to go because he really wanted me to try and that's the least I could do.

"Eren, I know this is scary but trust me when I say you'll be okay. I will be there the whole time." Levi was standing at the door looking at me with a hopeful stare.

"You don't get it." I guess it was a defense mechanism to be the shittiest brat I could be instead of just being straightforward with him.

"We all take this kind of stuff differently. But trust me when I say I understand. I had to do this too a couple years ago. I was terrified, Hanji had basically dragged me to my first appointment...after that I went on my own." Fuck I really was scared and I probably seemed like a wimp, hell Levi could do something like this why the hell couldn't I.

"No...it's different...I- no.." I was shaking my head hoping he'd leave me alone. 

"Please Eren..." Levi walked towards me and placed a hand on my shoulder only to have it knocked away.

"Just leave me alone." I spat out, not sure where the anger came from all of a sudden.

"Eren, I just want to help...I don't know what else to do." Fuck fuck shit. 

"I never asked you to help in the first place." My mouth was moving faster then my brain and I couldn't think rationally before spewing out a bunch of garbage.

"I don't care that you didn't ask for help, I wanted to. Listen Eren, I know this is the scariest thing in the world right now but really I think you can do it." Levi tried moving closer again. 

"You don't know anything, I don't need your help...I have other friends who would have taken me in." Where the hell was this coming from. It was like I was just spewing bullshit to start something...fighting so I didn't have to go.

"Fine. You know...if I didn't help you you'd be dead brat. That's the last thing I'd want to happen to you." Levi sounded angry and when he went to tilt my head so I was looking at him I flinched. He pulled his hand back and cursed.

"Shit. Eren..you know I'd never hurt you." I blinked once, twice, and then a tear fell down my cheek. I felt like the shittiest person on earth and I didn't know what to say. Levi began pacing back and forth unsure of what to do.

"I-i'm sorry. You-you'd never...I know." I walked towards the door slipping on my shoes as Levi just watched me.

"I'm sorry I'm such a fuck up." With that I swung the door open and ran down the hall to the stairs rather then the elevator. It didn't take long before I heard footsteps following after me and my name being yelled. I needed time to clear my head, to think about a better way to apologize to Levi. Hell it'd have to be a damn good one after this. I kept running and Levi's steps slowly disappeared, whether he stopped chasing me or I was faster. After running down a few flights I slipped through one of the doors to a different floor and after taking a couple steps away, I collapsed on the side of the hallway.

Deep breaths Eren. In, Out, In...why can't I breath in. Calm down...so stupid why did you run away. You're such a loser, you can't do anything right. Levi probably hates me...fuck I messed everything up. Why did I get so mad, me and my stupid mouth. I desperately needed oxygen and it didn't help that I ran down so many steps. I buried my head in my knees trying to wipe tears from my eyes, which turned out to be a useless effort. I heard strings of curse words and footsteps getting closer then drifting away, before getting closer again. The stairwell door burst open, and Levi was panting as he flung himself onto me.

"E-Eren...are, are you okay?" He was out of breath as he hugged me tightly. I hiccupped a few times trying to catch my breath and control my sobs.

"C'mon Eren, it's going to be okay. You don't have to cry anymore.. Shhh." Levi continued repeating himself until the tears slowed down and I seemed to get a decent amount of air in my lungs.

"I'm so s-sorry. I-I didn't mean it...Le-Levi." I buried my head in his shoulder as he played with my hair.

"It's okay Eren, it happens...I should have been more considerate about what you wanted." I looked up and wiped my tears with my sleeve. Levi looked sad and it made me hug him tighter then ever.

"I really...I messed up. Can we go still?" Levi kissed the side of my head and stood helping me up.

"We still have time if that's what you really want. But only if you for sure want to do this Eren. This is for you not me." I was quiet for a moment before I nodded my head.

"T-thank you." I whispered so quietly I didn't even know if he could hear me. He just grabbed my hand and squeezed it tight before we took the elevator to the bottom floor and walked to the bus stop.


	21. Therapist: Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren goes to his appointment. He finally feels good for once...but he is known for having bad luck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...don't hate me. I believe the devil resides in my soul. All I have to say is I will get the next chapter out asap. That is all .-.

It was a huge building. Looked like it could be its own country. Just the size of it alone made me scared. It'd probably be filled with tons of people, they'd stare at me wondering how fucked up I am. They'd think, 'here's another whiney teenager who can't figure shit out on their own.' To be quite honest, I wasn't sure how this was all going to go down.

Levi held my hand and gave it a squeeze as we entered the front doors. To my surprise it wasn't very busy except for a few people sitting in a waiting area in a room to the right. We walked up to the secretary as Levi gave our information.

"So Eren I'm just going to ask you to fill this out the best you can and Mike will be with you shortly." I nodded my head as Levi took the paper and a pen and we sat down in the waiting room.

I went through the form quickly answering stupid questions about sleeping and eating habits, and about anxiety levels and more bullshit. Finally after what felt like hours a man came into the waiting room calling Levi and myself. We stood up and followed him to a room and as soon as the door was closed Levi let out a small smile.

"Levi it's nice to see you. How've you been?" Mike looked friendly enough as he sat down in a chair across from a larger couch.

"It's been good, pretty busy with work and what not but it's alright." Mike smiled and gestured for us to take a seat across from. We sat down and he pulled out a clip board and a pen.

"So Eren is it? I'm Mike it's nice to meet you." He smiled and held out a hand which I shook.

"How's it going...what have you been up to lately?" Mike smiled and waited for a reply. I didn't feel to afraid right now, it just felt as if I was meeting a new friend I guess.

"Alright. I went to the coffee shop with my friend Armin the other day." I tried a smile but that memory wasn't a very pleasant one. 

"That sounds like fun. So I see you're friends here with Levi? Quite lucky, he's a good man." I blushed and Levi spoke up.

"Actually Eren's my boyfriend." That sounded nice... The first time we've somewhat called ourselves something.

"Even better!" Mike looked down at the paper I filled out writing something down and looking back up.

"So basically this is a pretty blunt question but it would be great if I could get some insight as to what problem I'm here to help you with."

"Uh...um. I've been having really- really bad panic attacks latley. And ya...I just I don't know." It was a pretty blunt question because if I were being my complete self I'd probably say my problem is I'm fucked up...but I don't really think that'd be an appropriate answer.

"Ok so do you have an idea as to what triggers these attacks?" I shrugged my shoulders. Of course I knew but I was to afraid to share. This is his job but fuck if it still didn't make me feel singled out.

Mike nodded writing stuff down then put down his pen.

"So Eren, do you think you could tell me a bit about your sleep habits." I looked down for a second before looking back up a little more nervously. 

"W-well I don't get much...really." Mike scribbled some things down before speaking again.

"Could you tell me why you think that is?" I knew why, it was because of the nightmares... Because of the overflowing thoughts of my mother, my father. I was afraid to say anything as eyes stared at me waiting for an answer.

Levi squeezed my hand tighter before I quickly looked at him, mumbling out a quick you tell him and then looking away in shame.

"He gets nightmares most nights, and it takes some coaxing to get him to calm down. But after that he usually can get some sleep." Mike nodded.

"Alright so since this is your first session I don't want to push too much or make this very long, unless you would like to say something. But I will have something for you to do." He waited a moment for me to speak but when I didn't he got up rifling through a drawer and coming back with a notebook.

"So what I'd like you to do Eren is try and write down the dreams you have in this book. That is only if you can. The next session we can go over them some and maybe expand a bit. Sound good?" I nodded, although I wasn't sure I wanted to come back. I took the book and Levi grabbed my hand as he said his own goodbye to Mike and we left.

"So Eren, what'd you think?" I didn't like the idea of telling someone my problems. It was okay today because we didn't get too far but even when asked a small question I was too afraid to answer. I just shrugged and we walked to the bus stop and headed home. 

 

Finally back in the comforts of the apartment I felt a bit better. Everything I was so worked up over was finally over and a weight seemed to lift off my shoulders. Levi wasn't pushy about making me go back but he did tell me to try out the homework I was given and to let him no if I'd like to go back.

We had dinner and the rest of the night I just felt relieved. Tomorrow I would actually be able to go back to work. Normally it'd be with Levi but tomorrow I worked with Hanji since he was invited for lunch out with Erwin. He insisted he ditch Erwin and work instead but I told him it'd be fine. He needed some time to himself rather then watching over me 24/7. 

"I promise it will be fine Levi." I told him as I curled into his side in bed after a long day.

"Fine brat. But remember to call me for anything ok." I simply nodded nuzzling myself deeper into Levi before drifting off. 

 

The next day came quickly and it could be due to the fact that I had a stupid nightmare that kept me up until the ass crack of dawn.

Levi was awake with me for a bit but after I pretended to fall asleep, only then did he fall back asleep himself.

I had to be at work at 10 and Levi let me sleep in a bit. So as soon as I woke up I had to eat, shower and then head to the bus station. Levi came along for the ride since he had to go to town anyway. He kissed me goodbye as I entered Wings of Freedom.

"EReeNN!" I quickly covered my ears at the high volume. 

"Oh shoot sorry, I just got excited...I haven't seen you forever!" I gave her a small smile before she pulled me into the back.

"I'm super excited...today I'm gonna teach you how we make pizzas!!!" I wasn't gonna lie I was a bit excited. 

Hanji answered all the phone calls and then showed me how to prepare the orders. Eventually I got the hang of it and made everything myself as Hanji hung out up front serving customers and answering phone calls.

Just around closing time things started to slow down. We hadn't gotten a customer for at least an hour until someone finally came in. I shouldn't say finally. I almost made it through the whole day. I felt good...well not so much anymore.

In walked my dad with a wobble in his step and a brown bag in hand most likely from the liquor store. He leaned on the front desk mostly for balance and stared at Hanji. I felt sick, what if he saw me...what if he was looking for me. I quickly moved towards the back behind the hidden wall taking deep breaths trying to calm my nerves. I heard alot of noise coming from the front and then Hanji's voices picked up.

"Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to leave." I peaked around the corner and saw him turn around to face Hanji rather then continue to stumble in circles.

"Fuck- I fuckin want food." I felt bad she didn't need to deal with him. But I was terrified.

"Fine I will give you something but then you have to go." She moved to the slice oven and pulled out a couple pieces handing them to him, not even asking for him to pay. He took the box and sat his ass down on the bench at the front of the store eating like a caveman.

Hanji turned around and raised an eyebrow since she no longer saw me. Oh shit don't-

"Eren?" Fuck. She yelled it since the shop was large and you couldn't hear shit around here without yelling. I held my breath as my dad threw the pizza box onto the bench standing up.

"Hey! Wait a minute did- did ya say Eren? He work here...Jaeger?" Hanji flipped around and faced him. She didn't know he was my dad so I don't blame her. I only blame myself for not being quicker to think.

"Um..yaa?" She said curiously. His expression instantly switched to one of anger. My breathing constricted as I shut my eyes as tight as possible. My phone. I needed to call Levi. Just as I was about to run to the spot where it rested on the desk my stomach dropped.

"Where is the little bastard?"


	22. Hospital

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shit goes down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like my chapter summary ;) anyways I noticed I have such sporadic updates...but right now there will be lots because I actually have some what if a plan, but once all the planned stuff is updated I will probably be slow again...anyways enjoy.  
> Love: The Devil Incarnate

I felt numb as I was finally able to reach my phone. My fingers trembled as I tried unlocking it unsuccessfully. I was beginning to panic... Noise around me seemed to drown out as I tried my best to focus on my phone until I heard a yelp.

No. I can't believe I'm such a wimp I let him touch Hanji. I turned the corner and she was lying on the ground by the wall holding the back of her head in her hands. Dad looked away from her as he turned to where I was wobbling over. 

The police. I had to call them. They were faster. I had to suck it up and do it. I couldn't let Hanji be hurt anymore. I dialed the number but before I could press talk his presence loomed down from in front of me.

"Call who you want you shit. You'll be dead before they get here." I sucked in a breath of air pressing talk before a fist came flying at my face, hitting me straight on the top of my nose. I dropped the phone and my vision went blurry. Before I could gain my bearings another fist slammed into the side of my jaw successfully knocking me to the ground to writhe in pain.

"Where the fuck have you been whoring around latley." I didn't answer as he spat out the words and gave me a kick to the chest taking the air from my lungs.

"Your mother must be glad you killed her so she doesn't have to spend another minute with you." Tears leaked from my eyes as I gasped for air.

"P-please..." He sent another kick to my gut before stomping down on my leg...again...and again... and again. A large crack was heard and pain shot down to my toes and up to my waist. I let out a scream trying my best to stay awake as my vision was slowly being encased by black.

"Worthless...loser...bastard...die." With every word that he spoke he offered another kick to my torso. The best I could do was let out a few whimpers. Finally he laid a kick to my head bringing me oh so much closer to the darkness I wanted to escape to. I thought he was done until he dropped to his knees wrapping his hands around my neck. He squeezed so tight. I clawed at his hands with little effort losing the oxygen I so desperately needed. A distant sound of sirens rushed through my head before I was released, only for black to encompass my vision.

Sirens. So much noise. What's this pain everywhere? Ow...why why can't I move. My eyes flicked open as I was being wheeled along somewhere. An ambulance? Why did I need an ambulance. 

"Eren? Eren! I need you to try to stay awake for me okay?" Why did I have to stay awake? I'm so sleepy. I blinked and my eyes stayed shut for a bit. What's on my neck? Why does it hurt so much.

"Eren, c'mon buddy stay with us." I don't want to. I just- I just want to nap. It didn't take much to once again be surrounded by the darkness.

 

LEVI P.O.V

I was at a cafe with Erwin...and he was being his usual self attempting to pry into my life. I told him me and Eren were together and all did was shrug it off like he knew before I even did. I don't think he's ever met Eren before...but I guess calling in to work a bunch of times for not just me, but Eren too,he could put the pieces together.

Instead of saying our goodbyes there we decided to keep each other company a bit longer, so he came over to the apartment.

"This is nice, its been a while since we could hang out." Erwin sat his ass on the couch grabbing the remote to put on the TV. 

"Ya whatever eyebrows." I sat down as well getting comfortable. We spent most of the night chatting, watching TV, and eating. I couldn't wait for Eren to get home so I could kick Erwin's ass out. I enjoyed his company but now he was being stubborn and just wouldn't leave. Something about 'bonding'. Whatever.

Eren was going to be home soon, but as the time ticked way past closing at the shop I began to get worried. Finally my phone rang and 'crazy glasses' lit it up.

"What the fu-"

'L-levi! Oh God, thank God you answered.' That was odd, and it only made me more nervous.

"Hanji? What is it?" I heard her sniffle in the background. That was my cue to head towards the door and pull my shoes on, Erwin following my lead.

'Oh...God Levi...it-I tried..' She couldn't get a word out between her silent cries. But I was getting impatient.

"Spit it out already!"

'Eren's in the hospital!' She finally shouted and my heart felt like it was being ripped out of my chest and my stomach dropped. My knees felt weak and my phone fell from my hand. 

"Levi? What's wrong?" Erwin waved his hand in front of my face picking up the phone and after listening for a bit, telling Hanji we'd be there right away. He slipped my phone in my pocket as I continued staring straight ahead. 

"C'mon Levi, I'm driving it will be okay." I wasn't to sure what was going on but I was being pushed outside into Erwin's car and we headed to the hospital.

Finally snapping out of it I practically ran inside to the front desk asking for Eren.

"They just brought him in, he is unconscious and is being prepped for surgery." What? Why the fuck did he need surgery? 

"C-can I see him?" The nurse put up a finger as she called someone on the phone.

"You can see him for about five minutes. But then he needs to go in. But do remember he is unconscious." I nodded my head as she buzzed me through doors and a nurse came out to take me to Eren.

I thought I was going to puke. Not because the way he looked, but because of how much I felt like a failure for not being able to save him. He had two fully black eyes and a bruised jaw. Blood was caked in his nose as well as around his lips. I couldn't see anything under his gown or blanket, but his arms were a mess of bruises and scrapes as well. 

I carefully grabbed his hand kissing it and watched the best I could for the rise and fall of his chest, to reassure that he was breathing. 

Beyond the neck brace that was around his neck I could see bruises flowing out. The nurse finally came in to lead me to a waiting room where I sat down between Hanji and Erwin. I didn't acknowledge them. Just stared straight ahead hoping it was only a dream.

"It's okay too cry Levi." Erwin's voice broke through to me and that was all I needed. One by one tears fell from my eyes but I didn't care.

"I should have been there." I stood up needing to get fresh air and sped walked outside. I heard someone following behind me but payed them no attention.

As soon as I was far enough from the front doors I screamed, punching a wall without even realizing it. That's when a pair of arms wound themselves around me and I just broke down bawling into their arms.

"W-why? He doesn't deserve this." I looked up as Hanji squeezed me extra tight then moved me back so she could look at my face.

"Nobody deserves this. I'm really sorry Levi. I couldn't do anything." I looked away wiping my face then looked back at Hanji.

"W-what happened?" 

"I- I didn't know it was his dad. He came into the store and I didn't know where Eren went. I called, I called his name and his dad went berserk." She sniffled.

"I tried stopping him from getting in the back but he threw me into the wall and I hit my head. I-I was dizzy, I couldn't see straight. Oh God Levi I'm so so sorry." Tears fell down her face now as she quickly took off her glasses and wiped them away.

Two of the most important people in my life got hurt today. I wasn't there. I should have just stayed.

"I don't blame you Hanji. It's Okay. You tried." Hanji squeezed me one last time before we headed inside.

I felt like I needed to at least call Armin since he was Eren's closest friend but I didn't have his number. I finally sat back down with my two friends as we waited for what we were hoping was good news.


	23. Levi P.O.V: Waiting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi waits...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anotherrrr chapterrr yayyy lol...so like I'm gonna do my best to make Eren's injuries as close to what it'd actually be like but I've never had one soooooooo I could be completely off...but its my story so whatever I could throw in a unicorn with duck feet if I wanted .-. Anyways EnjOY :)

It felt like forever sitting in the waiting room. It was already getting light out again and Hanji and Erwin fell asleep a couple times until finally a nurse came in.

"Jaeger family?" I quickly nodded as she walked over. 

"He is still in the recovery room but surgery went good. His right leg's femur is broken and was put into a cast. He had a small puncture in his lung due to a broken rib, and has a fractured larynx. He will most likely be out all night, he's being given oxygen and has plenty of meds going through an intervenes." I blinked once, twice, before Erwin reached his hand out to place on my shoulder bringing me back to reality.

"C-can I see him?" My hands were gripping my knees and I felt sick.

"You can see him as soon as he is out of recovery. It will be a couple of hours though." I swallowed. I needed to see him now. I needed to know he was okay. Yet I still nodded and the nurse was on her way.

"Why don't we head back to your place so you can have a shower and grab anything you need. Maybe find any contacts that might want to know about Eren." Erwin suggested hand still on my shoulder.

"W-what if he wakes up? What if I'm not here?" I would feel terrible if he woke up alone and afraid.

"It's okay Levi I will wait till you get back and then we can switch. You look like you need to calm down a bit anyway. Go get fresh air and what not." I stared straight ahead before finally nodding and getting up as Erwin followed me to his car. 

I didn't feel like talking so the car ride to my place was quiet. I figured I'd look up Armin's number before taking a shower so at least he'd be there for Eren too, just in case.

Finding the number I pulled out my phone dialing it and waiting for someone to pick up.

'Hello?'

"Uh Armin?" 

'Um yes...who is this?' 

"It-its Levi." I was about to explain exactly who I was until he interrupted me.

'Oh! Eren's boyfriend right!? Wait why are you calling me?' At least he knew who I was. 

"Well...Eren. He-he's in the hospital." I heard a gasp and then the sound of running around.

'What happened?! Is he okay?!'

"He just got out of surgery. Broken leg and ribs, punctured lung, and fractured larynx. It-it was his dad." I clenched my eyes shut and squeezed my hand into a fist.

'Oh God...I'm heading to the hospital right now.' I sighed in relief that he was going.

"I'm not there right now. Just grabbing some stuff from home. I will be back as soon as possible." Armin thanked me for calling him and after we hung up, I didn't pay mind to Erwin on my couch as I took a shower and collected a few items into a bag.

Finally emerging from the bedroom Erwin stood up sauntering over to the door.

"Ready to go?" I nodded and we headed back to the hospital.

As soon as we arrived I sat back down in a chair next to Hanji, Armin, and some other kid I didn't know. Hanji took that as her queue to dismiss herself and Erwin replaced her taking her seat.

"Have they said anything new?" I turned asking Armin.

"They said he's being moved to a regular room now and as soon as he's set up we can see him..  
Although he still isn't awake." I nodded and glanced towards the stranger.

"Oh Levi, this is another one of Eren's really good friends Jean." I gave a short wave then turned back in my seat facing forward. 

Time seemed to move unbearably slow, so when finally a nurse came into the room to inform us we could see Eren I practically sprung from my seat. We followed her to the room he was in and finally I was able to see the only person I wanted to see all day. 

I was afraid. I was scared to look at the damage. The first time I saw him it was bad the second time wasn't any better. Armin and Jean quickly surrounded him on one side, sadly looking down as Armin brushed his arm. I just stood back staring unable to move.

A cast wrapped around a large portion of his right leg raised slightly by some pillows. He had an oxygen mask on that covered his face rather then just the one that goes up his nose. A neck brace held his head in place as the back of the bed was slightly raised. He was completely covered in bruises from the parts of him that I could see and he had small scrapes accompanying them.

Finally I gained the courage to walk over. I grabbed his hand and squeezed it as I watched his chest rise and fall unsteadily. 

"Uh I'm a bit hungry...Jean let's get some food." Armin said grabbing jeans arm pulling him towards the door.

"I think I'll join you if that's okay." Erwin said following behind them as Armin nodded. They left the room and I pulled a chair as close as I could to Eren.

"Shit Eren...I'm fucking sorry for not being there. Please wake up soon." I kissed his hand and leaned over resting my head on the bed still clinging to him. I traced circles in his palm and hummed...nothing specific but I wanted him to hear my voice. Eventually tiredness overtook me and I fell asleep.

 

Eventually I woke up to one of the nurses coming in checking Eren's vitals and changing his IV bags.

"Sir it's an hour past visiting time...I-"

I quickly woke up standing up straight. "Please. Please let me stay. I-I can't leave him." The nurse told me to hold on and quickly walked out of the room. 

I sighed waiting sitting back in the chair before she returned. "I talked to a doctor and he said you can stay. If you want I could bring you a blanket?" I nodded my head stretching my limbs.

"Um do you know when the others left?" 

"Oh yes they left a couple hours ago...they were going to wake you up to tell you but decided you needed some sleep and asked us not to wake you either." I nodded my head and she left coming back with a blanket then leaving again.

I couldn't stand just sitting here all night while Eren was like this. I wish I could just snap my fingers and make everything better. Life wasn't easy like that though...so we had to suffer. No doubt after this alot was going to come and life would only get harder. I was ready though, I was ready to stand by Eren no matter what and I hoped he was too.

Eventually after staying up through most of the night playing on my phone I got tired again falling back asleep hand in hand with my bright eyed beauty.


	24. Rest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren finally wakes up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kinda feel like my chapters could be longer...but I feel like if I kept writing it would turn into a massive amount of words. And I probably wouldn't update as often soooo hopefully the length is alright!

Beep...beep...beep...

I could hear constant beeping and just wanted it to stop. I was tired and just wanted to sleep, but the stupid beeping wouldn't shut up. I was too tired to open my eyes so I wasn't sure where I was. I heard someone moving near me then a voice.

"He's probably going to need some professional help after this."

"You don't think I know that eyebrows. I just...I don't want to force it on him. I don't know how to go about it." That was Levi's voice and knowing he was here I wanted to wake up but my eye lids just didn't want to cooperate.

"I don't know Levi. You don't hate Hanji for forcing you into it a few years back do you?"

"Tch no. But I was mad at her at the time. Plus I still had you to be around when I was mad at her. He still needs someone he can trust." I knew they were talking about me. About getting help. 

Finally I began to become more aware and I wish I hadn't as I felt a dull pain in my leg and a sharp pain in my chest. It felt as though my body weighed a tonne and I couldn't move if I wanted to. My neck felt stiff and in place and my mouth was dry. Finally with all the consciousness I could muster my eyes fluttered open, squinting at the bright light.

"E-Eren? Your awake?!" Levi bounced into my vision grabbing my hand pushing my hair from my eyes. A mask was on my face and it was irritating so I attempted taking it off only to have Levi push my hand out of the way.

"I'm so happy your awake. Don't touch that. Erwin go get a nurse and tell them he's awake." Everything seemed so unreal. I was in pain and when Levi wasn't paying attention I pulled off the mask.

"Lev-" I was cut off as my voice was raspy and barley above a whisper. It was painful to talk and Levi quickly turned to face me giving me a worried look.

"Just don't talk right now okay." I nodded wincing with every intake of air.

"Put that damned mask back on or I'll glue it to your face." Quickly compiling I placed it back on.

"God Eren...everything is going to be okay now." Just as he finished this so called Erwin walked in with a nurse.

"Hi sweetie. You're probably in some pain right now. I don't want you talking but can you show me with your fingers, on a scale of 1-10 how's the pain?" I didn't have to think about it as I shot up 9 fingers. 10 just seemed like a number I'd use if I was dying. I wasn't but it sure as hell felt like it.

The nurse nodded changing some bags attached to an IV in my arm. "I just upped the dosage of your pain meds for now, until you feel we can lower it. No good to be in pain now is it." She did all the necessary tests she had to, writing things down on a clip board.

"Everything is good here. A doctor will be with you soon to do a more thorough exam ok?" Levi nodded for me and the nurse walked out.

There wasn't much time for anyone to talk as the doctor walked in almost immediately after. "Hi Eren, I'm Dr. Church. I'm going to give you a little run down of your condition and check a few things and then you will be okay to rest." He messed with a few tubes and what not behind me before taking the mask off my face and replacing it with one that went up my nose. 

"Now that your awake I think this may be a bit more comfortable." He smiled and then asked me if it'd be alright to remove my top to examine my chest. I put a thumbs up not really knowing how to answer since I couldn't nod, and he untied it from the back peeling it off.

I looked over at Levi who looked disheartened and turned away for a second. Next the doctor removed the brace around my neck, asking me not to move much.

He felt around the different areas, changing a bandage I apparently had around my chest/neck area before talking.

"Alright so everything seems to be going good up here. You had a punctured lung, it wasn't too severe but with a fractured larynx as well it made things a tad more difficult. You will probably be in pain for a while when breathing but nothing we can do except let you continue to strengthen and heal. The fracture is going to make it difficult to talk for a while and defiantly no solids until I say so. Now your neck may be a bit stiff from having it in one place for so long, but I'd like you to try moving it slowly left and then right. Don't force yourself if it hurts too much." I closed my eyes at this information. This was going to be a hell of a recovery. 

Following the doctors orders I moved my head slightly to the left and then back to the right. I probably didn't move it much farther then an inch each way, but I still felt successful. 

Dr. Church was now at the bottom of the bed checking which I now noticed to be a rather large cast on my right leg...no wonder it felt so heavy. He nodded and then moved back up the bed.

"Everything looks to be in good shape, recovery is all that's left. Rest as much as possible and then you can be out of here in a couple of days." Before walking out he tied a cord around the side rail of the bed with a red button on top.

"If you feel uncomfortable or in any pain at all, don't refrain from pushing the button for a nurse." I tried a smile...but honestly it probably didn't even show and the doctor left. I wanted to scream and I wanted to talk to Levi but I couldn't even do that because my stupid fucking voice was stupid.

I felt utterly useless. Reality began oozing into me and I wanted to get up and walk out of here. Hanji!? Was she okay? I was weak and let someone else get hurt because of my monster of a father. I felt utterly low and sick of myself. I closed my eyes trying to calm myself down. Tears were pricking the corners and maybe if I kept my eyes closed they wouldn't fall.

"Eren?" Levi walked over running his thumb along my cheek ever so slightly. My eyes opened and I realized I did indeed let the tears fall. I took a good look at Levi and his eyes were sunken in, dark bags underneath. God I made him worry about me...this is all my fault.

My breath was growing strained and uneven and it hurt as I tried to gain control of it. It only made it worse, I was now sobbing because of the pain but couldn't stop because when I tried to it made the pain worse, and then I'd sob more and that made it hurt too. It was just an endless cycle of pain and I probably looked like a mess.

"Shh...it's okay Eren. You need to try and concentrate." Levi looked a little panicked as I winced at every breath more tears following.

"Shit. Eren come on, I know it hurts. Try focusing on something else." I couldn't I just couldn't. Levi brought his lips to mine and only then did I slowly stop the trembling, the sobs, and slowly the pain went away with it.

"That's it bright eyes. You okay?" I slightly nodded not wanting to be in pain anymore.

"Erwin be useful and go get him some water." Erwin sent Levi a light smile and retrieved the water.

I took a few sips from a straw barley swallowing any at a time yet taking the dryness of my mouth away.

I wiped the tears from my face taking a few more sips. I wanted to speak but I couldn't and I was frustrated. I would open my mouth and then close it. Levi noticed I wanted to say something and found a pen and paper so I didn't have to strain myself. He waited as I quickly wrote 'how long was I asleep?'

Levi grabbed the paper from my hand reading it then handing it back.

"You were out for two days, I'm glad you woke up. Although you still need to rest." I wrote on the paper again...'you haven't slept have you?'

Levi looked at it before sighing. "That doesn't matter." I tried glaring at him because yes it did matter. 

"Fine...not really. But you can't blame me, you'd be the same I'm sure. But I can rest now that I know you'll be okay." I was getting pretty sleepy again but before I slept I asked him about Hanji.

"She's okay. Says she tried to, to help out. We can talk more later...you need to rest." I didn't want to sleep and for once there was so much I wanted to say and ask and of course I couldn't. 

I decided to listen to Levi but first I slowly moved to one side of my bed so my good leg was on the inside. Patting the empty space Levi looked at me almost refusing before lying down beside me.

"I am...really happy that you're okay." I hugged him around his shoulders bringing him down so his head rested on my shoulder, since I couldn't move my head much.

My eyes closed and I was slowly falling into a deep sleep. Just before I was completely out. I felt Levi shift beside me, placing a kiss on my cheek before whispering something that made me wish I could speak right now..."I love you Eren."


	25. Another Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren realizes how much Levi means to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is probably one of my shorter chapters...who am I kidding they're all short haaaaaaaha. Anyways its more on the nicer side compared to the last few. But I mean due to the demon in me and how long this fic is probably gonna be there will be much more angsty angst. So anywayssss EnjoY .-.

The world is a shitty place to put it bluntly. Although some people are served a worse sentence then others everyone gets a taste of bullshit. Even though that is the underlying truth, there is always one thing that will make this persons world a little less shitty. It may take years to find that thing...or it might only take a day. Point is no matter how sad, angry, or lost you feel there is always happiness at the end of the tunnel. I hate that it took me this long to realize what mine was but now that I know, I think I will slowly be able to move towards recovery. I know its going to be hell...I have to become many things. Strong, trusting, honest...and so much more so I can move on with my life. I found someone who is willing to take me to the happiness at the end of the tunnel, no matter how long it takes or how hard it is.

Levi is my escape. He is my rock and my safe place. Last night he said he'd loved me. I think he thought I was asleep already... but that made me realize I'm really not alone and someone is here to drag me to a better life. 

These are my stupid thoughts at 9 in the morning. I don't know how long the optimism is going to last but I hope it lasts forever. Levi went to go get himself breakfast at the hospital cafe so he could eat with me when I get my horrid tomato soup. I am not looking forward to eating liquids for a while...especially since I generally eat slop (so many crackers in my soup it just becomes mush) because soup is just boring.

My voice is still sore and I'm told to continue to rest it. I agreed because it hurt like hell to talk anyway. When I would try it would come out in a raspy whisper and I was barley audible anyway. Thus my plans to tell Levi...to tell him I love him too whether last night was ment to be heard or not, had to wait. I didn't want to write it on paper because it wouldn't be as heartfelt. So I had to play the waiting game. 

Levi was still gone and I kept drifting in and out of sleep. A few times my thoughts would become dark or invaded with fear and worry and I would just imagine Levi being here and slowly I could calm myself.

My hospital room door opened and Levi slipped in with a bag of food and a table with wheels consisting of 'the best food ever' and water. I really just didn't want to eat...it hurt to much anyway plus I wasn't very hungry.

"Sorry I took so long the line in the cafe was huge. But I came back with your food too, so eat up." He plopped himself down in the chair next to me opening his bag of food pulling out something that I'd much rather eat. 

Levi practically scarfed down his food as I just stirred my soup in a circle staring down at the orange substance. I held up a spoonful before dropping it in the bowl and letting my arms fall at my side.

"What's the matter?" Levi looked up from his food on his lap.

I just shrugged before turning my head to look out the big window on the wall.

I didn't feel like being in pain every time I swallowed it was already irritating enough to swallow my spit, let alone breath. Levi took out his phone handing it to me with notes opened up.

"Why aren't you eating?" I grabbed the phone typing something then erasing it before I settled with 'tomato soup is gross.'

Levi sighed before sitting back down. "I can ask them if they have anything else?" I softly shook my head since really that wasn't my problem. I didn't want to tell him I was in pain, I didn't want to worry him plus I didn't have an appetite anyway.

"C'mon Eren you gotta have something in you. I will check if they have something else for you." He stood up turning towards the door. I didn't want him to leave because it'd be a wasted effort. I needed to get his attention so I quickly said, "wait." That only started a coughing fit and the pain to increase tenfold.

Levi quickly turned back around moving the tray out of the way before rubbing my back as I tried to stop coughing, tears building in the corner of my eyes. I grabbed something not realizing it was Levi's hand and squeezed it tight trying to relax my fit.

Have you ever been in so much pain you vomit? Well I was. I quickly covered my mouth and Levi's eyes grew as he ran to grab the small trash can holding it in front of me. 

Everything that was inside of me, which wasn't much mind you...emptied. It burned but it made me stop coughing. I relaxed back down into the bed squeezing my eyes shut trying to take relaxed breaths willing away the pain. I felt a wet cloth wipe around my mouth and a thumb wipe away a tear that escaped.

"You okay? Wait that was a dumb question...do you want a nurse to up the pain meds for a bit, that way you can relax a little." I simply nodded as Levi pressed the nurse call button.

"Hello there. What can I do for you?" A cheery nurse walked in until she saw the pained look on my face.

"Do you think he can get a little more relief he practically coughed up a lung and puked because he was in so much pain." The nurse's eyes widened and she quickly checked the stitches I got during surgery to make sure they were okay.

"I will give him some more right now. We don't need anyone to be in pain. That's what a hospital is for." She quickly did some things that I didn't pay attention to and then left.

A few minutes passed and I felt the pain subsiding and I was beginning to get tired, and just slightly delirious. 

"You feeling a bit better now?" I smiled wide not sure why and nodded.

"Good. You practically broke my hand with the strength you squeezed it with." I smiled even bigger, eyes fluttering closed and then shooting open, wanting to stay awake.

I tried saying something but stopped myself before Levi once again handed me his phone. I typed something in and handed it to Levi and his lips turned up as he read the message.

'Thank you Levi. For being here and staying with me. I really want to tell you something but I need to wait till I can talk properly. Also you're lucky I didn't use my hulk strength this time because I totallllyyyyy could have broken your hand. Also I'm tired and and also you should cuddle with me.' 

Levi chuckled at the message and leant over to capture my lips with his. It was sweet and perfect in every way. 

"How bad do you want me to cuddle you?" Levi smirked crossing his arms in front of himself.

I pouted stretching my arms as wide as I could without hurting myself to show him how much I wanted him. Levi ruffled my hair softly before squeezing in beside me and wrapping an arm over my shoulders sticking his head in between the crevace of my neck.

"I can't wait till you get out of here bright eyes." Although it was still morning the drugs made me tired and as Levi slowly played with my hair I once again fell asleep.


	26. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren finally gets released from the hospital.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yayy another chapter. So like this one is pretty decent lol but like after this it will be alot of Erens mental recovery so we shall see what happens then! I also think this chapter is a bit longer then the last so yay me XD anyways EnjOY!

Three days passed in the hospital. It was basically the same thing each day. Me barley eating a spoonful of bland soup, Levi trying to get me to eat, panic rising and then Levi calming me as I fell asleep. It was exhausting, I could move my neck back and forth now and my voice would work but only in raspy whispers. Like before but a little less pain. I had a catheter attached to my junk because I could barley move without hurting and the only time I did was when I had to do something other then pee...and that was utter hell. 

I went through a couple examinations and I was deemed well enough to go home but of course have plenty of bed rest. Armin, Hanji, Erwin and even Jean came to visit every now and then but I slept most of the time. Even Mikasa called from her summer job to wish me well. I was being discharged this afternoon given crutches and some pain meds. I think the doctor called them percocets. I honestly was too out of it to pay any attention...all I know is Levi took in all the pieces of information given to him and he had some argument about the types of meds I was being given but thats about it.

The afternoon was coming close and I was beginning to get nervous and Levi could probably read me like a book. It only happened to be proved when he spoke up.

"Hey brat, what's the matter? Not excited to get back to the apartment?" I shook my head. I was excited but I was more nervous as to how we were getting there. Clearly I couldn't walk and the bus would be too much...that only really left the car as a choice.

"Uh...how. I...We have to take the car?" I whispered, Levi relaxing his worried face as he knew what was bothering me. He grabbed my hand rubbing small circles into it with his thumb.

"Don't you worry bright eyes. I have a plan which reminds me...you are being released soon so I will be right back." I was confused but nodded anyway. I was getting sleepy again waiting so long for Levi. Just as my eyes slipped close they opened again as I heard footsteps enter the room. I opened my eyes thinking it was Levi, but instead two cops stood in front of me. They were the ones who took me to the station around the beginning of the summer...Bertholt and Reiner I think. I glared their way not too fond of the memory they brought with them.

"Hi, Eren how you holding up?" The taller one, Bertholt asked. I just shrugged. 

"We were the ones who came to the scene last week. We just wanted to share some news with you." Oh...this is about dad then. I wasn't sure I was prepared to hear anything about him but I nodded anyway.

"It isn't very good news but I assure you, your safety is our top priority." Oh God what were they going to say. I knew what they were going to say...I just didn't want to hear it.

"Your father got away. He was gone before we got there, and we searched the town many times over. We went to your home and it looks as if its been deserted for a while. We are going to continue to keep out an eye for him, but we highly suggest you try to stay indoors or with a group of people if you go out. We will constantly have petrols in your area. Don't worry Eren, we are going to find him."

My eyes were watering. I would basically be on house arrest until they could find him. For all we know he could already be gone two states over and here I am hiding. I was now completely alone. Before I could go home if that was what I wanted...not like I would I wasn't that stupid, but it was still an option. Mom was gone and dad was on the run. My life went from 0-100 real quick and I couldn't handle it. 

The blonde officer walked closer and pulled out a pad of paper and a pen. "Do you know any places he may have ran to? Anywhere or anyone he may have talked about to you?" I honestly had no clue. He changed so quickly in the last couple of months God only knows where he is.

"I'm, I'm not sure. He's really different. He had some people over one time. I think...I think they were doing a deal." I stopped slowly gaining my composure and relaxing my voice.

"What kind of deal? Drug related?" The taller officer said. I nodded and they quickly jotted it down. They asked me about the appearance of the men and I could only give them a vague description before they left.

I felt like a traitor. I called the police on my own father and now he was going to go to jail. Some part of me knew he deserved it, but on the other side I felt like a failure. I wasn't able to keep him and I together. I hadn't realized mom was the thread that made us a family and all I did was screw it up by killing her. I felt like if he was going to jail just for beating someone, I should go too, for murder. 

Before my thoughts could get too dark Levi walked in with a nurse at his side. 

"Hi sweetie, how are you feeling?" Once again I just shrugged. That seemed to be my go to answer with that question.

"Well you are being released and everything seems to be up to par. Obviously you will still be in some pain. We gave your boyfriend the prescription to deal with that. I want you to get plenty of bed rest and use those crutches like they're apart of you. We don't need you returning because you thought you'd be fine without them." She smiled and I nodded at her.

"Now your boyfriend here told me you have a little fear of cars? I know there isn't really another way for you to safely get home, so we are going to give you a little something to keep you calm the whole way. If that's okay with you of course." I blushed every time she said boyfriend and was overjoyed that Levi thought this far and was able to do this for me.

"That. That'd be nice." I managed to whisper out.

She worked on removing the IVs from my hand and placing Band-Aids over top. She quickly cleaned and changed the bandages over my stitches before slowly bringing my bed up into a sitting position.

Another nurse walked in with a wheel chair and a pair of crutches handing them over to Levi.

"Alrighty do you think you can get to the chair on your own or do you need some help?" Before I could even answer Levi placed the crutches on the bed scooping me up in his arms placing me into the wheelchair. 

"That was easy! Now we are just going to give you a needle to help you relax." I hated needles just because...Levi knew it due to everyday he stayed with me at the hospital and held my hand as they quickly gave me the shot.

"Okay, you're all set to head on home. Hopefully we don't see you back here any time soon." I attempted a smile and Levi wheeled me down to the parking lot. I didn't have time to panic as whatever the nurse gave me already kicked in.

Levi lifted me into the car throwing my crutches in the back seat and got in the driver's side.

 

LEVI POV

I wasn't sure how to get Eren home at first, but was relieved when I spoke to the doctor who gave me the perfect solution. It was an exhausting week but I wouldn't imagine doing it for anyone else. Eren was mine to protect and there is no way in hell I'd ever leave him. 

He was quiet all the way to the parking lot but as soon as I sat in the driver's seat I could tell the meds were working.

"You okay to go brat?" I looked over to a drowsy looking Eren with a dopey smile on his face. 

"I'll take that as a yes." Eren kept staring at me and as I put the car in reverse his finger came in contact with my cheek.

"So-so squishy." I swatted his hand away and began the drive home. I don't know why I didn't think of this before but I defiantly should have put the brat in the trunk. It'd clearly be the best solution.

"Hey. Hey Levi." Eren whispered his voice sounding a little raw.

"What is it?" 

"What's this?" He pointed at the air conditioner flipping it open and closed as he watched it in awe.

I decided to ignore him, maybe that way he'd fall asleep. I probably, defiantly should have paid attention to him as I now felt a hand sliding up my thigh. My eyes widened as it got closer to my crotch and I tried pushing his hand away.

"Oi, brat! Quit that." 

"But Levvvvvviiiiiii." I chuckled a bit at the way he sounded trying to whine yet not being able to make his voice louder then a whisper.

"We are almost home so just relax." Eren huffed and turned to look out his window.

"You're a meanie." He was now frowning, brows furrowed as he looked over to me.

I pulled into my parking space pulling Eren's head over to me kissing the top of it. His frown forgotten and a smile now adorning his face.

"I'm tired..." 

"I know brat, we just gotta get upstairs and you can sleep as much as you want." Eren groaned as I got out of the car grabbing his crutches and bringing them to him on his side of the car.

He swung his legs out carefully putting his good foot down and standing up with his support tucked under his arms. We made it to the elevator and Eren practically fell over falling asleep on the way up.

"Tch hop on brat." I turned around bending down a bit. Eren giggled and jumped onto my back hugging my tightly with his arms.

He was light, probably due to his lack of eating lately and I grabbed his crutches as we made our way out of the elevator and to the apartment.

"Hey, Levvi. Can I tell you something?" Eren's head was rested on my shoulder and somehow I managed to unlock the door and bring us inside.

"What is it bright eyes?" I said as I brought him into the room laying him on the bed. He stayed sitting up and squeezed my hand pulling me close.

"I love you Levi." He blushed and then quickly looked away. My face heated up and then a smile crept its way onto my lips. Eren's hand left mine and instead his arms wrapped around my waist his head digging into my stomach like an embarrassed child.

"I love you too brat." He continued to cling to me looking up and then landing a kiss right on my stomach. He released his grip and threw himself back onto the bed falling asleep almost instantly with a smile.


	27. Three Weeks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren's three weeks of hell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo this chapter covers three weeks...and then the next chapter will probably be Levi's version of these three weeks...so I guess trigger warning for addictionnnn? What? Ya ok go on...read now .-.

A week passed as Levi went overboard making sure he did anything and everything to keep me happy. He cooked for me trying to create better tasting soup then the last he'd created. He would spoil me with smoothies and massages, he would hold me and place tender kisses all over in hopes to keep my spirits up. I won't lie and say it didn't help, because it definitely did but I couldn't help to fall back into a rut when he began going back to work. I didn't want him to stop living his life just because he felt the need to take care of me, so I insisted he at least start working again. He picked up three days of work in a row and I was glad he'd listened to me...but I wished I had a distraction.

I was still taking pain meds for my leg and Levi already had them placed out so I'd know when to take them through the day. He lectured me about only taking them at the specific time since they were highly addictive. I just shrugged it off not realizing I had slowly come to rely on the drug. 

 

It was only his second full day at work but I was bored out of my mind. Well I guess that's an incorrect statement because my mind was in fact running 500 miles a minute. Mostly about the where abouts of my father. Did he know where I was? Would he purposley come looking for me to finish me off? Did he ever love me...even when mom was alive? 

 

I hadn't gotten much sleep in a while and it only seemed to come in short spurts when I took the meds. I would feel relaxed, calm...even though I'd get the occasional uninvited thought it'd simply be brushed off. I felt like I was slowly rotting lying in bed all day staring at the ceiling, or mindlessly watching TV in the living room. Armin came to visit for an hour but he had to work too so I was once again left to listen to the ramblings of my inner voice.

 

Each day was the same, I could finally begin to slowly add solids to my diet but I rarely ate anyway so it didn't matter much to me. I was getting tired of the same routine. Levi was taking on more shifts at the shop due to needing to pay the bills. It made me feel useless, only being able to welcome Levi and send him off with a farewell each day he went in. He probably noticed the odd switch in my behavior but even if he did he didn't say anything.

 

A few more days passed and Levi tried forcing me to eat more. My throat was practically back to normal so he didn't see any reason as to why I shouldn't enjoy a full meal. I ate everything so he would be happy, because who am I kidding...I couldn't make him happy any other way. That only resulted in me spilling my guts into a garbage pail. Levi said it was probably because I wasn't used to eating so much in one sitting, I just shrugged.

 

I haven't left the bed for a couple days. I probably needed to shower. The looks Levi gave me seemed to prove that. I wasn't really up for moving especially because I was sick of using the crutches. My leg felt like 1000 pounds and it was proving to be one hell of a recovery. 

 

Levi found me on the floor today. It wasn't anything special. I attempted getting water and dropped my cup letting it shatter on the ground. It was difficult trying to move around with crutches. He came home from work and I was sobbing in the kitchen sitting down on the floor beside the shattered glass. He told me it was okay. I pretended to believe him. My leg hurt and I couldn't handle my bullshit of a life. Levi went to get me pain meds which I still should have had, but had to go out to the pharmacy to refill the prescription because somehow I was already out. He didn't question it.

 

Today...today it had been almost 3 weeks since I was released from the hospital. Summer was closing in on us. My friends that I hadn't even talked to in ages were preparing for college, while I was still stuck with a broken leg, a dead mother, and a maniac of a father on the loose. Today is the day Levi confronted me. 

I had thought everything was going to continue as usual. I would move from my spot in bed to the one on the couch after taking perhaps more meds then necessary to fall asleep in a calm relaxed embrace. The last three days Levi had become distant. He kissed me less and didn't hold me as close in bed. I didn't care. Even if he left I'd still have the sweet escape of my meds.

I woke up with a startle and by the look outside it was at least 8 at night. Levi was already home and standing in front of me with an empty pill bottle in hand.

"Eren...why is this already empty?" He had a glare set in my direction accompanied by dark sunken in eyes. I shrugged and he didn't seem to appreciate that.

"Don't. Don't just shrug like you have no idea. Have you seen yourself latley Eren? When is the last time you looked in the mirror?" I opened my mouth to say something but closed it again as nothing came out.

"I'm an idiot Eren...but I'm not stupid. I should have done something earlier. Do you know this is your last prescribed bottle? That means you went through three in the last three weeks." His grip was tight on the bottle, turning his knuckles white.

"Fuck. Eren...I'm sorry for not realizing sooner. I'm sorry for over working and not being here for you more. But you promised me you'd talk to me. You said you'd tell me if something was bothering you." For the first time in the two months since I had met Levi I saw him cry. A tear fell down his face slowly falling down his cheek. He quickly wiped his eyes with the back of his hand and sniffled.

"I don't know what to do. Eren I didn't want to force you to get help. I wanted you to be the one to initiate it. I thought you'd understand that maybe talking to someone would help you. I thought you'd tell me if you were hurting." I was beyond mortified. My mouth was slightly opened and my eyes stung with unshed tears. I continued looking up at my boyfriend standing above me.

"What are you going to do now? You are completely out of medication. What's going to happen when you need more? You're addicted Eren. Your prescription is finished so now what happens? It's going to be a million times worse because you...because you won't be getting anything nearly as strong to help with the pain." The tears finally escaped and I took a few sharp breaths before I began to sob. Levi dropped the bottle and sat next to me squeezing me in a tight embrace that I haven't felt in a while.

My body shook and I was drenching Levi's shirt. "I know it has been hard. It still will be. Hell it might get worse. Eren you need to promise me you are going to try to get better." He move an arm up so he could hold the back of my head as he continued to hug me.

"I-i'm so s-sorry Levi. Fuck...I don't d-deserve you." I couldn't stop sobbing. Hell I knew he was right and I felt terrible. I'd relied on the one thing he told me not to. I forgot he was my rock. I forgot that I could tell him everything and anything that was bothering me. I fell so hard these last three weeks and if I thought it'd be hard to pick myself up before, it was going to be even worse now. My nose was stuffed and I only managed to take in a few quick breathes between the sobs.

"You shouldn't be apologizing to anyone but yourself. This is going to be difficult bright eyes. But I promise it will be okay. We can do this together." After a few more minutes I finally calmed down wiping my eyes. Sniffling a bit to stop the weird in-between of stuffy/leaky nose.

"How about a nice shower? When's the last time you had one?" I grimaced as I realized it had been a few days and nodded my head. 

Rather then grabbing my crutches and walking to the bathroom Levi picked me up carrying me and placing me on the edge of the counter. Instead of starting the shower Levi put the plug in and filled the bath adding bubbles. The first week from the hospital Levi helped me bathe, so I was already past the awkward phase of him seeing me naked. 

I glanced in the mirror at someone I didn't recognize. My eyes were sunken in and black bags surrounded them. My hair was long and greasy and my skin was pale. My face looked thin and cheeks almost hollowed out. I cringed at the site before me tearing my gaze away from the mirror.

"It doesn't matter what you look like now because we are going to work on it." Levi turned my head towards him placing a soft kiss on my lips as I did my best to ignore the fucked up person I saw in the mirror.

He removed my shirt for me and helped me stand as I removed my bottoms. Carefully he helped me into the tub letting my casted leg rest on the edge. 

My head felt like exploding due to all the sobbing and I was exhausted. Before Levi could leave I stopped him grabbing the back of his pants.

"W-wait." Levi stopped and turned around with a questioning look on his face.

"Stay-come-do you want to..." I didn't know how to ask him to join me in the bath but he seemed to get the hint. This would be the first time I had seen him nude, except for the one time I'd accidentally walked in on him changing but this was different.

"Are you sure?" I nodded my head as Levi stripped his shirt and shed his pants and boxers. My face turned red as I greedily took in the sight before me before looking away.

"Scoot up." Levi demanded and as I moved up he lowered himself behind me. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me into him. I was tired and dozing off as Levi washed my hair for me and scrubbed me down. He left soft kisses on the back of my head and shoulders as I leaned back into his touch.

"We can do this Eren, I promise." I let out a shaky breath and nodded. He drained the tub getting out and drying us both off. He picked me up carrying me to the bed not bothering with clothes. As he wrapped himself around me we both fell asleep awaiting the next day.


	28. Levi P.O.V: Three Weeks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi's P.o.v on the three weeks after the hospital.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yayy chapterrr... Also I realized after looking at the different chapter names that I made alot of them the same woops .-. Anywayyyys read on wonderful people ;)

I did my best to make Eren happy while healing. He didn't eat much but I feel like it was due to his mentality rather then "hating bland food." I tried creating him things that he'd like and it felt as if I had to force him to eat it. I tried relaxing him and making him feel safe. He insisted I go back to work when he caught me trying to straighten out my bills for the month.

"Levi...please, I will be okay. I don't want to stop you from moving forward." I thought about what he said for a while but finally agreed to go back, although I only took shifts if I felt like he was going to be okay that day. The first couple of days I began going back to work, I lectured Eren on taking his meds at the proper times and the proper amount. He agreed which made me relax a bit. I wasn't new to addiction, not that I was ever addicted before but I was close to it, and I've known some people who were addicted to a multitude of things. I knew it could take a hold on your life and in the end you'd only spiral downwards. I didn't want that for my bright eyed brat.

 

It had been almost a week of me going off to work. I tried to stay home a couple times but of course Eren insisted I go, so I just stopped fighting it. He seemed so exhausted latley, but he hadn't been out of the hospital too long. That was normal right? He was sitting on the couch falling in and out of sleep as I got ready for work. Before I left I gave him a small kiss and told him to rest. He nodded attempting a fake smile and I felt bad for leaving him on his own.

 

After a while Eren's voice was practically back to normal, yet he'd rarely talk. He was finally able to begin eating solids again so I prepared him a meal. He looked like a zombie and detached from reality. He constantly seemed to be in a complete other world, but I didn't let it get in the way of the amount of love I felt for him. He poked at his meal, moving things around not actually picking anything up at first. I probably had a sad look on my face as I told him to just try some, as he looked at me and practically shoveled down everything on the plate. He sat staring straight ahead face turning pale and covered his mouth. I ran to grab the garbage as he couldn't physically make it to the bathroom quickly enough. The meal that he tried to eat came up and tears brimmed his eyes. I told him it was okay. He tried and probably couldn't handle it as he'd been eating liquid for a long time. He shrugged and I wasn't sure I could believe my own words.

 

I was starting to get really worried. I didn't want to work anymore...I wanted to be there for Eren, but it only seemed like it made him sadder when I so much as mentioned staying home for the day. Everyday I'd go to work as he woke up to wave bye, and everyday I'd come home as he continued to sleep in the same spot. At first I'd help him with showers, but he was capable of taking them on his own now as he's done a couple times. Latley though I don't think he's moved from bed. His hair was greasy but I was too afraid to hit a nerve by asking him how he was. I let it be, but I think it only made me feel more like a horrible human being.

 

I came home from work today and Eren was a sobbing mess. He was on the floor in the kitchen, beside him a shattered glass. He was practically curled in on himself and I panicked. I let him cry, he was fed up...I didn't want him to give up, he was in pain and I needed to be strong for him. I helped him to the living room as his cries died down and I swept up the broken glass. He said he hadn't had his medicine today so I went to the cupboard to retrieve him the proper amount. The bottle was empty and I was confused. He was prescribed three bottles that should have lasted him more then a month if he took them properly. I didn't want him to hurt anymore so I decided to go to the pharmacy and pick up his second bottle.

 

I was more wary now. I did my best to keep track of pill intake but apparently not close enough. Just as the second week ended I was back in the pharmacy getting his final prescription. He was taking them too fast and I was scared. Eren was spacey latley and didn't seem to be as attached as he was before. He would fall asleep most of the time before I got home and would sleep until I'd leave in the morning. I was worried beyond belief and I didn't know what to do. 

I turned to one of the only other people who may be able to help me. "Hanji...I need some advice."

"Oh my little shorty you're asking me for something?!" She got too close for comfort and I pushed her ass down onto the chair at work.

"Cork it screw ball, this is serious." I was glaring and I had creases in my forehead from over thinking.

"Oh..is it about Eren?" She suddenly became calm with a concerned look and tone in her voice. I told her a couple times about what was happening at home. She'd listen but I never really asked her what to do. I never asked for help in this situation and I should have.

"Hanji...I-I don't know what to do."  
She nodded waiting for me to continue.

"He...he barley talks anymore. It's like he's not even with me most of the time. I'm scared Hanji... I think he's been taking too many pills and I don't know how to confront him. I'm so stupid I should have done something about it earlier. I-I'm a terrible person. He's in pain...what do I do?"

Hanji stood up and wrapped her arms around me and I accepted it. "Ya know Levi...this kind of stuff is hard to deal with, I would know." I groaned at this as I knew she was talking about me. But that's why I needed her help.

"You need to bite the bullet and ask him about his pain meds. You need to tell him how you feel. Then maybe that way he will start opening up to you." She moved back looking down at me almost like an older sister, hell I guess that's basically what she was like too me.

"If he loves you, which I'm sure he does...he won't mind the help." I nodded and sighed.

"We're closing up early today, its pretty dead anyway. You go home to Eren okay? Good luck Levi." I grabbed my things and headed home.

As soon as I got home I saw Eren fast asleep on the couch. He looked vulnerable and displeased. He was far too skinny and he was pale. His hair was a mess and although it seemed like he slept alot, the sunken in eyes and black bags told another story. I paced the kitchen for probably an hour trying to figure out how to start this long overdue talk. Finally a lightbulb hit and I decided to grab his bottle of medicine, that way we could somehow start with that at least.

Expecting at least half a bottle full of pills when going into the cupboard, I was shocked when I pulled out one that was only empty. Nothing mattered anymore...I wasn't questioning myself on how to talk to Eren. I was mad, scared,and worried. My feet brought me to the couch where Eren slept clutching an empty bottle.

His eyes fluttered open, "Eren...why is this empty?" 

 

I finally was able to tell Eren everything I was feeling. It was a touching conversation, I cried, Eren cried but I think it went well. Eren knew he fucked up, hell I knew I fucked up for not doing something earlier. We didn't talk much after that for the rest of the night. We bathed together and fell asleep in a tangle of limbs. Things were going to look up, it was going to be hard but I was damn well ready to help my brat. Hanji let me have time off work with pay which I was greatful for, and tomorrow would be the beginning of putting the pieces back together.


	29. Levi P.O.V: You're My Everything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of bad a little bit of good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heh heh...idek like I'm stalling so hard with getting to writing some juicy juice ya'know what I mean ;) like real slow feckin relationship build because I feel like I'm going to mess it up HA Ha ha... I also wrote this chapter so damn quickly so its probably trash but thats ok right?...right. Ok just...just read I guess, that's all you can do now .-. Heh

I woke up the next morning to Eren thrashing around in the bed with a light sweat covering his skin.

"Mnn, n-no...please." He was mumbling and moving his head back and forth as if shaking his head no.

"Eren? Eren it's just a dream." I swiped a hand through his hair and his head stopped moving but he continued to mumble and scrunch his brows.

"It's okay Eren, can you hear me? It isn't real." I continued moving my hand through his hair and wrapping my other hand around his waist to hug him. I continued whispering to him until his brow relaxed and his mumbles died down. I sighed, glad I was able to calm him down and hugged him in tighter. He hadn't had any sleep latley and I didn't want a nightmare to cause him to wake up.

I looked over to the alarm clock and it read 8 am. Deciding I'd probably not fall back asleep, and it being late enough anyway, I rolled out of bed. I blushed a little as I remembered neither of us were dressed and I'd so easily forgotten. I quickly slipped on sweat pants and made my way to the kitchen. I wanted to make Eren a good healthy breakfast since he hadn't ate much of anything for the last three weeks, but I didn't want to make anything too big so he'd throw it all up. I decided on a small bowl of different fruits, cutting each one into small pieces.

Not much later I heard a groan come from the bedroom. Eren must have been awake so grabbing the bowl of food, some Tylenol and a glass of water I made my way to him. I set everything down on the nightstand beside him, taking the pills with me to my side jumping into bed.

"Sore?" I asked and all I got in response was a groan, from an Eren who's head was firmly placed underneath his pillow.

"I brought you some fruit. You think you can eat some? I have some Tylenol too. It won't be the same, but you don't have a prescription anymore and I don't want you in pain." Eren wiggled underneath the blanket a bit before slipping an arm out to grab the end of the blanket, pulling it up and over his pillow covered head.

"Fine I will leave a couple Tylenol on your nightstand. Food and water is there too." I rolled over top of him, mindful of crushing him placing 2 pills beside his water and then getting up from the bed. I walked to the bedroom door pretending to walk out, yet secretly hiding around the corner hopefully catching Eren peeking out of his hideout.

A few minutes passed until he slowly pulled the blanket down, lifting his pillow to peak and see if I was there. He seemed to not have saw me as he sat up in bed rubbing his eyes and yawning. Looking at the things on his nightstand he sighed and threw the blanket off himself swinging his legs over the edge. Grabbing his crutches he quickly went to the nightstand butt naked grabbing the first pair of pants he could see. I couldn't help it, walking back in the room as he finished putting his sweats on.

"So brat, didn't wake up because you were embarrassed?" Eren's eyes widened and he covered his face with his hands.

"It's alright bright eyes, you got a pretty nice ass." I winked at him and his face turned into a cherry.

"S-shut up." I smirked and sat back on the bed next to him.

"Thanks...for making me breakfast." He looked down grabbing the bowl of fruit taking a few pieces.

"That's what loving boyfriends do for one another...anyway how are you feeling?" He stayed quiet slowly eating a small slice of apple. I saw him glance at the Tylenol and then look away in disgust.

"I'm fine." He responded quickly losing any eye contact in my direction.

"Eren..." This wasn't going to continue he'd tell me the damn truth whether I physically pry his mouth open or not. I made a mistake before, but this time I was ready to do whatever it takes.

"What?" His voice gained an angry tone to it and he put the food down.

"Eren, you need to tell me the truth. No more secrets for either of us. Ok?" He closed his eyes keeping them that way for a bit before opening them and nodding.

"So...how do you feel?" I leaned forward elbows on my knees looking over and up at Eren.

"M-my body...my leg...just, I don't know. It just hurts." I could tell he was in pain but I wasn't sure it was only from physical damage.

"Take the Tylenol kay? It will help a bit." Eren looked at me then down at the pills. He blinked looking at me again and then grasped the medicine with a tight grip. When I thought he was going to toss it into his mouth he did the exact opposite. He whipped the pills across the room hitting the wall. He leaned over head in his hands body shaking.

"Eren? Why did you do that. If you're in pain you need to take the medicine." I brought a hand to his back rubbing it soothingly.

"I-I can't." He sniffled wiping his eyes with the back of his hand.

"Why not bright eyes?" He shook his head sniffling, clenching and unclenching his fists.

"I-I'm scared." He practically whispered it not allowing me to hear, resulting in me asking him to repeat himself. This time he shouted, sounding sick and tired of everything and everyone around him.

"I'm scared!? I'm terrified Levi. What if I get addicted again...what if I can't stop myself...I fucked up so bad. I already need my prescription...fuck I don't need it I want it. How do I do this Levi!? I feel like I'm stuck in a time loop...like each day is going to be the same. I feel like I'm going to be stuck in this room forever. My leg is never going to heal. I'm an idiot. I'm stupid and act like a child. I cry too much and I don't deserve you. You deserve so much better then m-" 

I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't hear him talk about himself like this. I acted on impulse crashing my lips onto his tasting salt from recently shed tears. He didn't move for a second but I stayed attached to him and slowly his tears stopped and he began moving with me. 

Our kisses were usually only sweet and short. This time it was passionate and heated. This time neither of us removed ourselves from the other. Our lips moved almost in a dance like motion, it was slow yet deep. Mouths opened and it wasn't so much a fight for dominance as Eren completely gave the role to me. Teeth clashed and breaths became ragged. Eren had a hand at the back of my head gripping my hair as my hands were tracing the lines in his back. Eventually Eren was flat on his back as I hovered over him continuing to assault his lips. 

Eventually we had to break to breath, lips red and swollen. Taking a minute to gain our breath Eren sat back up looking at me with a blush on his face.

"Don't ever say you don't deserve me brat. I love you more then anything in this world. If anything I don't deserve you." Eren blushed even more and I felt like I was in a state of euphoria, otherwise I don't think I would have been so open with my feelings.

"I'm sorry...but Levi?" I raised a brow questioning him.

"How am I ever going to get you to kiss me like that again if I can't say that?" Eren let out a small smile as I kissed him beside his mouth.

"I really do love you bright eyes." 

"I really love you too Levi. Thank-you...for what you've done and what you're willing to do. You really must be an angel." I smirked clutching his hand in mine.

"Only for you bright eyes. Only for you."


	30. You're My Drug

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren is going through withdrawal and then...smut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eyyyy...so like I did it. I wrote smut. This chapter is probably the longest because of that. I don't even know what I'm doing .-. Smut is fun to read but I'd never thought I'd write it. Well I have come to the dark side...or ya God ok just read this messy chapter :')

Nightmares were more frequent latley, but so were Levi's soothing words. At first I felt okay, like stopping the use of pain meds other then a few Tylenol was easy. The first two days I felt like I could do it...like all this addiction crap was a bunch of bullshit. I was soon to be proven wrong this morning when I felt an itch I couldn't exactly scratch. Levi was already up making breakfast, slowly my appetite coming back and I was still in bed. I was tired and felt like I could sleep for a century, yet last night I maybe slept for 2 hours total.

"Hey brat come and eat." Levi called out and I sluggishly made my way towards the kitchen. I plopped down in the seat once again pushing around my meal with my fork.

"What's on your mind?" I was about to shrug but remembered that I promised Levi I'd tell him everything I was thinking. He promised he'd never leave me and I trusted him.

"I-I don't know...I don't feel right." Levi leaned across the table placing the back of his hand on my forehead.

"You're a bit sweaty...you might be getting a fever." Levi said wiping his hand off on his napkin.

"I don't feel sick...well I don't know. I couldn't sleep much last night." I wanted to go searching in the cupboard for pills that wouldn't be there. I craved them right now, I just didn't know how to tell Levi.

"Well do you think you can eat a bit? Then you can go and try to rest." I nodded taking a few bites from the eggs he made and ate half the piece of toast.

Levi was already up clearing the table almost a worried expression on his usually emotionless face.

"Uh..I'm gonna go back to bed." Levi nodded and I made my way back to the bedroom lying down.

I was staring at the ceiling for more then an hour, not being able to sleep. Levi came in to check on me a few times but I pretended to be asleep. The last time he checked on me about a minute later I heard him whisper.

"Ya he's sleeping." He must have been on the phone. Levi left the room and as quietly as possible I made my way to the door to listen.

"He was okay for the first couple of days...but today it almost seems as if he has a fever. Plus he didn't sleep much last night." It was quiet for a moment while whoever he was speaking to replied to him.

"I think he's starting to withdraw...I know its normal but how do I help him?" A wave of sadness crushed me. Levi was worried about me and I didn't want to burden him. I sighed and went back to the bed lying back down. Eventually I fell back asleep skipping lunch and waking just before dinner. 

Levi had ordered pizza but I wasn't feeling very hungry so I opted with staring at the TV rather then eating the meal.

"C'mon Eren, at least have a few bites." I just looked at him and then back at the TV.

"Don't ignore me brat, I will force feed you if I have to." Levi gave a glare saying that yes indeed he would force me. But I really wasn't hungry.

"Levi...I-I need something." I felt like if I said that I needed the pills I would burst into flames.

"What do you need bright eyes?" I opened my mouth before closing it trying to find the right words.

"I need, I need my prescription." I said it so quietly I was surprised Levi even heard it.

"Eren, you know you don't have anymore and it isn't good for you." Levi had that worried look plastered onto his face again.

"You don't think I know that?" I knew they weren't good for me, but I couldn't help that I wanted them more then anything.

"Your going through withdraw Eren, it's normal to feel the way you do. Just try to think...you don't really need them." I don't know why but it made me angry, Levi's words made me mad and I couldn't help yelling.

"It's not as easy as you think! I don't know how to control how I feel! I feel like if I don't have them now I'm going to explode!?" Rather then yelling back Levi just hugged me tight. I began to relax and then slowly pushed him away.

"Sorry...I'm, I'm gonna take a shower." As quick as I could I made my way to the bathroom, stripping, wrapping my leg so it wouldn't get wet and sitting on the stool under the soothing water. It wasn't so much a shower as it was 'cool off time.' Eventually I decided I didn't want to turn into a raisin so I got out drying myself off making my way to the bedroom. I changed into a sweater and sweat pants and sat on the edge of the bed, head in my hands.

I kept my eyes closed taking deep breaths, trying to turn my thoughts away from the one thing I wanted most. I tried to think about absolutely anything but it always went back to what I needed. Eventually I heard Levi walk in and sit on the opposite side of the bed. I felt him scooting himself over to sit closer to me, once he was positioned behind me he wrapped his arms around my waist laying his head on my back.

"I'm sorry...I know I shouldn't tell you how to act, because I don't know how you feel. I just want you to feel better." I lifted my head moving my hands to Levi's that were around my waist.

"I'm sorry too. I'm not myself...I just need a distraction. I need to get my mind off of it. Your right, I don't need it. But my brain just can't understand that." Levi squeezed me a bit tighter and lifted his head off my back.

"If you let me, I can be your distraction." Levi leaned his head down once again but this time attaching his lips to the crevace between my neck and shoulder. I was slightly shocked, and blushed when I accidentally let out a moan.

Levi continued attacking my neck with kisses as I turned my head towards his, kissing whatever part of him I could reach. Levi detached himself from my neck and moved to the side pushing me down into the bed. As soon as I was on my back he straddled me looking at me with lustful eyes.

"I-I like this distraction." I managed to get out between deep breaths. Levi smirked and bent down assaulting my lips. Letting out another moan my lips parted and he took the advantage to stick his tongue in lapping at my own. Lips, teeth, and tongue crashed together over and over pulling small moans out of both of us.

Levi was grinding into me and I could feel his own arousal hitting mine. His hands carded through my hair as I felt every inch of his body under his shirt. He moved from my lips kissing down my neck and then sucking on a spot most likely marking me. Levi lifted his head once again gazing into my eyes. He stopped grinding and I couldn't help but thrust upwards to feel the friction on my straining member. 

"Excited, bright eyes?" Levi breathed out. 

"S-shut up, I could ask you the same." Levi's hands slid to my shirt slowly pulling it up and over my head. I was a tad nervous, since I've never done anything like this before and I guess Levi could tell.

"You okay with this?" I only nodded my head quickly bringing a low chuckle from Levi, making my heart race even more then it already was.

Kisses were trailed down my body stopping at my nipple. His tongue swiped out licking it receiving a moan in return. I continued touching Levi as much as I could before finally grabbing his own shirt and ripping it off over his head so I could touch him and drink in the sight of his perfect body.

His lips trailed lower and lower until he got to my waist, just above my sweat pants. I couldn't wait any longer and my pants were constricting.

"T-Touch me Levi." Lust filled eyes locked on my own as a hand moved into my boxers grabbing onto my hardened cock. I couldn't help but to grind into his hand to feel more pleasure. Eventually my pants along with my boxers were long gone and I only wanted Levi.

He worked my member and I was a writhing mess. "Mnn, L-Levi I-I want you." I whined as he suddenly stopped and repositioned himself. My hands pulled at his waistband almost as if to make sure he was okay with it. 

"H-hurry up brat." I pulled down his pants and his cock sprung free. He pulled them down the rest of the way throwing them somewhere to the ground. He leaned over to the night side grabbing out a bottle of lube and a condom.

"Y-you alright with this bright eyes?" Once again I nodded quickly although still a bit nervous. Levi grabbed the lube spreading a generous amount on his fingers.

Kneeling in front of my spread legs I blushed as Levi slowly circled my hole. "Just tell me if you want me to stop. It might feel weird at first, but I promise it will get better." He waited a second as if to give me time to change my mind. When I said nothing he slowly pushed a finger in. It was definitely a weird feeling but I soon got used to it wanting more. Soon a second finger joined the first and a string of moans fell out of my mouth as he bent his fingers hitting something inside of me that made me shake.

"W-what was that." Levi's fingers continued moving and adding a third.

"That was your prostate." He hit it again and I swear I saw Jesus.

"Mnn, God...Fuck-Fuck me Levi." It didn't take much for Levi to remove his fingers and slide the condom over himself followed by more lube. He gave a quick glance at my broken leg before lifting the good one up and onto his shoulder.

Lining his cock up with my ass he slowly pushed in until he completely filled me. It was painful at first but eventually I got used to the feeling and unconsciously began to wiggle. Leaning down Levi crushed our lips together and began to move. He thrust a few times before he hit that spot again and a loud moan escaped my lips. I squeezed around him and his moan followed mine. 

"Mmn harder.." I breathed through the kiss. Levi complied pulling almost completly out and ramming back into me harder, over and over.

"I-i'm gonna c-come." I needed release as it built closer and closer. Levi grabbed my cock once more stroking it up and down until white filled my vision and our chests. He continued thrusting into my me through my orgasm and soon followed with his own.

He pulled out taking off the condom, tying it and tossing it into the small trash can, flopping on his back beside me.

"So...did I distract you?" Levi smirked giving me a final kiss on the cheek before getting up and going to the bathroom to grab a cloth. After wiping himself and I down we curled into each other under the blanket. 

"You're the only drug I need." I whispered, falling into a deep dreamless sleep.


	31. A Good Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren wakes up with high spirits.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Half this chapter is in Levi's P.O.V. Alsoo its just a generally fluffy chapter. Mine as well stick it in there so I don't seem too evil right? Hehh. Alsooo I just got tumblr, and I have no idea what I'm doing, but go follow me anyway! Because I said so, you could totally check out my Instagram too cause I mean like why not right? Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ok anywhoo enjoy das chapter.
> 
> Tumblr: littletinfoilduck  
> Instagram: anime4the_win

I woke up from a good nights rest. Probably the best I'd had in a long time. I felt a deeper connection to Levi now more then ever...he is my companion, my confidante, my lover. I felt refreshed and renewed. It may only last a day or a few hours but I was going to make the most of this feeling. 

For once I was up before Levi, still curled into his side his arms wrapped around me. I slowly lifted my head up to reach a kiss onto his chin. He didn't move so I gave a few more kisses until he twitched. 

"Mmmn, go...tired." I giggled as Levi swatted his hand over his chin in a fruitless attempt to push me away. I moved up a bit further and gave him another kiss on the cheek lasting a good ten seconds.

"Heh...sleeep." Levi mumbled placing his hand on his cheek holding it there, eyes still closed. It was already 10am so I was waking him up whether he liked it or not. Finally I planted a kiss on his mouth with a grin until his eyes fluttered open. He leaned his head up kissing back until I moved away.

"Ok ok, I get it brat I'm up." Yet he still rolled over and threw the pillow over his head.

"Fine...I'm just going to get food then since you're being a grumpy little shit." Levi just mumbled something from under his pillow shooing me away.

I scooted to the side of the bed deciding to find some pants before I went to the kitchen. As soon as I stood with the crutches I planted my ass back down on the bed, groaning as a sharp pain ran up my spine and my good leg felt like jelly. I heard the bed creak as Levi rolled over to where I was placing a kiss on my spine. 

"Sorry brat, sore from last night?" I blushed at the sleepy comment as Levi got up walking over to my side of the bed.

"Ya well thanks to you I now feel completely immobile." Levi smirked and I blushed a little at his nudity yet defiantly wouldn't mind him walking around like this often.

"Well how about a warm bath?" I agreed and Levi walked into the bathroom running the water to fill the tub. A few minutes later he walked back in the room scooping me up in a princess like fashion.

"You're lucky I love you brat, otherwise I wouldn't be so decent with waking up." I smiled as Levi carried me into the washroom and lowered me into the tub.

"Join me?" Levi nodded and motioned me to move up so he could sit behind me like a couple nights ago. I was relaxed as Levi washed me carefully and thoroughly. He then washed himself and we sat there for a little while. The water began to get cold so we got out drying off and me being carried back to the bedroom.

"Feel a bit better?" I nodded and threw on the pants and T-shirt Levi gave to me.

"You can relax for a while longer I'll go make us some food. I'll call you when it's ready. Sound good?" Levi questioned standing at the bedroom door.

"How did I get so lucky?" My comment seemed to make Levi blush and it made my heart soar.

"I'm the one that got lucky." I laid back onto the bed staring at my gorgeous boyfriend.

"Ya I guess you're right." I smirked and Levi rolled his eyes.

"Brat." I laughed and Levi seemed to brighten up.

"I love you shorty, now go make food." I winked as Levi mumbled an I love you back and almost seeming to laugh as he walked away.

I really did love Levi. He's done so much for me. It wasn't just love because of that though. It was the way he'd show his emotions through his steel grey eyes. The way he'd try not to smile yet couldn't hold back a smirk. It was the way he held me making me feel like I was worth it. How his voice alone made my heart beat faster. It was the way he could stand his ground. Be confident and strong. How his pale skin was such a contrast from his dark perfectly cut hair. 

I never thought about falling in love. I've had crush's sure, but with Levi I was head over heels. I felt like I needed to do something for him. He deserved the best and I wanted to give him that. Levi said many times that we were a team and he wanted me to be happy. He wanted what was best for me so we could live a happy life. 

So what I could do for him was to make myself better. I needed to take the next step and show him I could do this. I needed to show him I listen to the things he tells me, that he has a positive impact on my life. I want him to know that I do rely on him like he wants me to. That together we can be invincible. 

My next step for OUR relationship was to see a psychiatrist for real. To go weekly and help myself. By helping myself I could become more involved in this partnership. I would be able to laugh and smile more often with Levi and we could have good days everyday.

Reaching over to my phone on my nightstand I took a moment, staring at the screen until I unlocked it. I searched through the contacts until I reached Mike Zacharias. Levi put it in for me a while back, whether as an incentive or a reminder that I'd always have someone to talk to, it didn't matter which though. A few deep breaths and I pressed the call button pressing the phone to my ear.

It rang a few times before a cheery voice answered.

'Good afternoon. Dr. Zacharias' office. How may I help you?' 

"Uh, um Hi. This is Eren Jaeger." I probably sounded like an idiot. I was nervous and hadn't realized I stopped talking.

'Ah! And what can I do for you Mr. Jaeger?' The chipper voice questioned.

"Um, well I'd like to m-make an appointment for as soon as possible." Ya sure made sense  
..whatever.

'Alrighty! Have you ever had an appointment with the doctor before?' I was able to relax a bit as the main part was done.

"Y-yes, just once." I heard a bit of tapping on the other line before the woman began speaking again.

'Oh perfect, I found your file all set up. The soonest we can get you in is Tuesday at 3:00pm. Is that alright?' I didn't have to think about it as I knew neither of us worked at the moment.

"Sounds good. T-thank you."

'No problem. We'll see you soon! Bye for now.' I followed with a quick goodbye and clicked the end button on my phone. I sighed both relieved and nervous. I felt a weight lift off my shoulders and possibly a bit anxious for the appointment.

As I placed the phone down Levi walked into the bedroom with a spatula in hand.

"Who was that?"

 

LEVI P.O.V.

Eren seemed different today. Almost happier...the way he seemed so relaxed. I didn't think it was going to last for long but I was going to try my best to make it last for as damn long as I could. The way he woke me up this morning gave me butterfly's in my stomach it was weird. I don't think I've ever felt something so satisfying. Being able to wake up to someone you love and feel good. When he smiled it made me want to smile. I haven't loved anyone before. I've dated some people but no one has ever made me feel like this. I can't handle all the emotion I've been showing latley it kinda scares me.

Eren is resting while I make him food. I know I don't have to make much. Hell he'd be happy with a piece of bread if it were from me. But Eren deserves the best and I wanted to give it to him. The way his eyes had a spark in them today made wheels begin to turn in my head. This amazing person is strong. He's stronger then alot of people I've met. Hell he's stronger then me. He has been through alot and yet he is still here and trying everyday.

I placed the pancake I just cooked on the plate turning off the stove and hear Eren thanking someone, assuming he must be on the phone. He put his phone down as I walk in the door spatula in hand.

"Who was that?" Twirling the pancake flipper in my hand I waited for a reply.

"Uh...it was...I called...Tuesday." He ended his jumbled sentence with Tuesday and I raised a brow. 

"So you were talking to Tuesday?" Eren blushed and shook his head.

"I...Levi I want to get better." I stayed quiet as Eren thought over his words.

"I'm ready too. I think...no I know I can do this. But I just need to know you'll be with me." I walked to the bed sitting down on the edge.

"Brat...you know I will always be with you. We're a team remember?"  
Eren smiled lightly looking deep into my eyes.

"That's exactly it. We're a team...and a team works together. So I made an appointment with Dr. Zacharias."  
He what? I wanted to smile hugely and hug him to death for being able to do something as big as that. For being able to take a step that big, but I had to make sure first.

"And that's what you want to do? You're not just doing this for me right?" I reached my hand out placing it on top of his.

"I'm doing it for us both. I feel like I need a little push in getting better. I want this relationship to last forever. Levi...I've never loved anyone as much as I do you. I don't know what I'd do if you left me. So...so its for us. Together we can do this." What the hell...why was my cheek wet?

"L-Levi! Why are you crying?" Fuck me. I don't think anything has made me happier. I haven't felt or shown much emotion until I met Eren. He brought it out and God it was weird. I wiped my face with the back of my hand shaking my head as Eren seemed worried.

"I'm happy Eren. This is joy. This is joy because I'm glad you see us as a team. I'm happy you want to be with me forever. I don't know what I'd do without you either. You're the first person I've truly loved and I'm so proud of you...fuck...look at you making me look cry like this. Brat." 

Eren's eyes were glossy with unshed tears but he didn't let them fall. A grin was plastered to his face ten miles wide and I couldn't help but give him one in return. He practically jumped at me as he squeezed me tight and I hugged him even tighter. We stayed like that for a bit until I remembered about the food.

Leaning back I gave Eren a quick kiss and stared at his beautiful emerald eyes. 

"Foods gonna get cold brat. Let's go eat." 

"Way to kill a mood." Eren softly chuckled as we made our way into the kitchen for lunch.


	32. Bus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren's official appointment and some other stuff...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Firstly I dropped my phone in a sink...so like wtf it was sitting in a bag of rice.  
> Secondly my brain couldn't think of a chapter name.  
> Thirdly lol at the end of the chapter. This update was kinda lame but idek what I'm doing...it will have to do till next time XD   
> (~°_°)~ anyways enjoy

Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Repeat. My fingers were raw from continuosly cracking them even if they were no longer cracking. The bus wasn't particularly crowded today but I felt like all eyes were on me. It felt like forever since I left the apartment. Levi's hand was placed over mine breaking the two part and clasping ours together.

"Brat that's not good for your fingers. I'm pretty sure there's nothing left to crack." He squeezed my hand and I looked back down into my lap. Today was my official appointment with Mike. I only say official because the first time I didn't plan on talking anyway. I knew I needed help but I didn't want to ask a stranger. This time I was ready. Scared as all hell...but ready. I knew I needed this and with Levi by my side I could get through it.

The bus came to our stop and Levi passed me my crutches clutching the notebook Mike wanted me to fill out in his other hand. I did my best to write down my dreams in the week before today. It was difficult to write in detail but I wrote them none the less. Eventually we both got off the bus and headed to the office. 

"Hey, Eren, it will be okay. I promise." We were seated in the waiting room and I hadn't realized I'd been shaking waiting for Mike to come out and get us. I knew he wouldn't pry, but I wanted to tell him more about my life so he'd understand better.

"Eren, Levi, you can come in now." Mike called us and we made our way to the office. I brought myself over to the couch placing the crutches on one side as Levi sat on the other.

"It's been a while since I heard from you Eren. How are you?" He glanced down at my leg as he spoke.

"Uh...not too good." No lying this time. I was here for help not to lie.

"Ah, I can see that. What happened if you don't mind me asking?" I clenched a fist on the couch cushion. Taking a few breathes before speaking.

"Actually...actually I-I think I have alot to say today." I kind of skipped over his question but he didn't seem to mind as he sat back with his pad of paper on his lap and the notebook that Levi handed to him. Levi had my hand in his rubbing small circles on the top of it attempting to soothe me.

"By all means, I'm here to listen Eren, so go ahead whenever you'd like." I nodded and squeezed Levi's hand looking to the ground, afraid of the look I'd get when I told him everything. You'd think it'd be easier now...telling two people already, hell it was just harder.

"W-well almost a year ago my...  
My mom died. It was my f-fault." I paused and it stayed quiet. 

"Um...well since then, I p-promised my dad I wouldn't do anything that has to do with art ever again. It was m-mom that told me to follow my dreams." My throat felt full, like something was stuck there. I closed my eyes trying to gain my bearings. Levi continued rubbing my hand and slowly I regained my composure.

"You don't need to share all at once. We can take it slow Eren." I shook my head and looked back up at Mike.

"N-no I...If I don't say it now, I don't know if I will be able to next time." Mike nodded and it was silent again.

"Dad...he found out I was hiding it from him. I knew he always blamed me for her death. I-I blame myself...but, I guess he didn't-he acted like we were okay...until then."  
I swallowed and squeezed Levi's hand harder then I actually thought.

"M-my leg...he did that." That was it...it wasn't very detailed, but it was what I needed to tell him. I did my best to hold myself together and glanced at Levi who only had a soft look on his face. Mike scribbled down some things then went to my notebook. He read for a minute closing it and placing it down.

"Do you believe you and your father ever had a good relationship?" We did. At one point. When mom was alive...but I could go as far as not calling him my father anymore.

"W-when mom was alive." Mike nodded.

"Are you happier when you draw Eren?" I nodded. I was, it made me think of mom in a good way. It let my mind wander into a happier place.

"How about writing down the dreams? How do you handle that?"  
To be honest it made me calm down. I didn't like to relive the nightmares but the writing distracted me from having panic attacks.

"It's ok." Was all I said as Mike wrote a bit more. 

"That's good. This really was a good session. Your task until next time is to continue writing in your book, but this time, I want you to draw something once a day. We can go over this-" Mike held up the book, "-the next time, since you did so well today." I nodded and was relieved we were almost done.

"Before you do go Eren, I'm going to prescribe you some anti- depressants." 

"Have you had much sleep lately?" I didn't answer. I forgot to tell him what happened with the other prescriptions. What if-what if it happens again? I don't want them...I could pretend...no. No I can't. I can't lie. 

"You okay Eren?" Mike spoke a bit louder and I shook my head. 

"L-levi I can't." He was quiet for most of the day, but as soon as I said his name it was like he sprung into action. He rubbed my back and had me face him.

"It's okay Eren. This is different, I promise. I will even control when you take them if you want, ya? Let me talk to Mike ok...I promise it will be okay." I nodded still concerned but knew Levi wouldn't lie to me. I quickly said thanks and goodbye to Mike and headed to the waiting room while they talked. I was doing better with the cravings...its not like I'd been addicted to them for a long time, but three weeks really built on you. I would sometimes get the urge, or I'd just sleep all day because I knew I wouldn't get any pills anyway. It's only been about a week. But Levi's been there so it wasn't so bad. I just didn't want to screw up again.

Levi came walking out of the office with a paper in his hand and sat down beside me. 

"Did you want to set up another date before we head out?" I somewhat wanted to say no, but after today I kind of felt like a small weight was lifted off my chest. We didn't talk much...well Mike didn't and I guess it felt good. Someone was able to listen to me and just let me rant without judging me.

I nodded and we set a date for next week and headed for the bus station. 

It was later at night by now and already dark. The bus wasn't too crowded but it got loud as a group of drunk college students got on. Most went to sit in the back minding their own business while two of them were stuck up front, in front of me and Levi.

I couldn't exactly hear them, but they were slurring. I turned to look out the window and just ignore them.

I flinched when one of the idiots grabbed my shoulder. I just kept repeating that it was okay. They're just stupid college students. 

"H-hey we weere aksing you somthingg." I looked to Levi and he was glaring in their general direction but they paid him no mind.

"Wheres the stop wee gota getof?" I shook my head at how stupid these people were making themselves look.

"Sorry, I don't know you, so I'm not sure." I moved his hand off my shoulder but he only grabbed it harder.

"Dude stop playin'" Not dad, not dad, not dad.

"Hey, shit heads turn back around. We don't know you so leave us the fuck alone." My knight in shining armor. The drunk man on the outside stood up on wobbly feet as my short as fuck boyfriend stood up.

"Try m-me midget." The bus pulled to a stop as Levi sent the kid snoring in one punch. The bus driver successfully kicked them off the bus and the others followed. 

"What are you smiling about?" Levi said as he pulled sanitizer out of God knows where.

"You, he was just so tall...and bam." I laughed and Levi smirked rubbing his hands together.

"Buses are shit, and you my love have terrible luck." I grinned at Levi and laid my head on his shoulder.

"Ya know, maybe it's time I learn to get used to a car again. Would you help me?" 

"Anything for you bright eyes." And we waited for the bus to arrive at our stop.


	33. Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren hangs out with his friends, and gets shocking news.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so hopefully this chapter is better haaa and its longer so yuup. Um so ya go read, go on...

I woke up before Levi to the buzzing of my phone beside my head. I managed to ignore it the first couple of times but it didn't stop. Fed up and unable to sleep anymore I picked it up to see missed calls from Mikasa, Armin, Jean, and Marco. It was only two weeks into September but I haven't seen Mikasa since she got back from her summer job, they were all off too college but still close due to the city being only a short ride away. They all knew about my situation more or less. I feel like I haven't seen them all in forever since the hospital incident...and well Mikasa since the begginning of summer.

My phone began buzzing again 'Horse face' popping up on the screen. I groaned noticing it was 10 in the morning and pressed talk.

'About damn time jaeger what were ya doing?'

"Sleeping. So leave me alone." I was going to hang up but was interrupted.

'No. You're gonna be waking up and getting ready and me, you, Mikasa, Marco, and Armin are gonna go have lunch.' I groaned seeing Levi roll over so he was facing me slowly opening his eyes.

"Uggh can you just text me I'm too tired to function." I swear I heard him neigh on the other end.

'Fine but you better reply.'

"Ya, ya whatever." With that I hung up placing my phone on the nightstand and rolling towards Levi so our faces were inches apart.

"Bout time you answered the damned thing. Who was it?" 

"Just my friends they want me to go have lunch with them." Levi wrapped an arm around my waist and threw his leg over my body pulling me closer.

"Mnn don't leave you're warm." He closed his eyes again and I nuzzled into him further. Just as we were both dozing off again my phone buzzed.

"I'm gonna kill your friends...I guess you should go you haven't seen them in a while." Levi yawned and rolled out of bed padding to the bathroom. 

I picked up my phone as it continued buzzing this time it was flashing 'coconut head'. 

'Eren? Are you awake yet? Jean was having a conniption because you weren't texting him back.'

"Uhggggg I'm awake now...where are we meeting?" I dragged my hand down my face sitting up in bed.

'Yay! We're actually outside Levi's apartment...sinceee I know where he lives.' Armin nervously giggled over the phone as I sighed.

"Ok you guys are actual shits. I will be down in like 10 minuets." I hung up once again stretching and throwing my legs over the side of the bed. I hadn't realized Levi went to the kitchen as he came back with a glass of water and a bottle.

"How's the leg?" I rubbed my hands over the cast. It was getting better and I couldn't wait to get the damned thing off.

"It's ok just some dull pains." Levi nodded and handed me one Tylenol which I took great fully. 

Levi grabbed my empty glass and left back towards the kitchen, as I got dressed as quickly as someone with a broken leg could and met him in the living room.

"So how long you gonna be out for?" I mumbled an I dunno as I threw my shoes on. Levi stretched from his spot on the couch lying back and turning on the TV.

"Just call if you need anything kay?" I nodded and hopped over to him sitting beside him.

"You don't have to worry...too much." I smiled and before he could say anything else I gave him a soft, sweet kiss which he gladly returned. Before it could turn into anything else I moved my self standing back up.

"I will see ya later Levi." 

"Ya ya brat be careful." Closing the door I made my way to the elevator and down to the bottom floor. This would be the first time in a while I had left the apartment to enjoy myself. As soon as the elevator doors opened I could see my friends outside the lobby door fooling around waiting.

Crutches were an honest pain in the ass as I hit the automatic door buttons waiting for them to slowly open. They saw me hopping out and Jean was the first to run over and hold me in a head lock.

"Jaeger bomb! Took ya long enough." Almost losing my balance I muttered a fuck off and he helped me stand back up in position.

"Hey guys. Hey Mikasa its been a while." Her eyes glistened for a moment before she hugged me extra tight.

"Oh Eren, I missed you so much. I wish I wasn't away all summer." I managed a small smile shaking my head.

"Ya missed you too 'kasa." Marco said a quick hey and Armin hopped in front of me with a sing song hello.

"So where we going guys?" 

"There's a place just down the road. Like a 2 minute walk. You think you'll be okay?" I nodded, I'd had lots of practice with the crutches I'm sure I could make it two minutes.

The walk was easy and eventually we made it to the cafe. It was a small place on the corner, I'm surprised I haven't noticed it before. It had a couple tvs playing the news and a few people scattered around at different tables. Me, Jean, and Mikasa found a seat in the corner while Armin and Marco ordered the food and drinks. 

"So guys how was your first week of college?" They both talked my ear off telling me all the new stuff they already began learning and what kind of dorms they were staying in. Eventually Armin and Marco came back with the food taking a seat.

"So Eren how's the boyyyyfriend?" Armin nudged me with his elbow smiling cheekily. 

"What!? When did you get a boyfriend? How come I never heard of this!? Jean did you know? Marco?" They both nodded and Jean mouthed a good luck.

"Who is he? How old is he? What's he like?" I widened my eyes at the sudden onslaught of questions.

"Whoa Mikasa slow down...his name is Levi he's like 21 and he's great. Amazing actually. Really how did you not know I was dating someone...I mean you picked me up at some unknown location." Mikasa was quiet for a second as she pondered it over.

"True...I don't know I just assumed it was another friend or something. Well that's great, he better be good to you." I nodded my head and nibbled on my sandwich. 

The rest of lunch went similarly the same. All of us catching up on each others life. It was nice to see my friends again and get back out in the world. I would occasionally glance at the news on the TV when suddenly breaking news scrolling past the bottom, caught my eye.

It couldn't be true. No. I didn't know whether to be happy, concerned or angry. My heart felt like it was picking up and I could hear it beating in my chest. I couldn't tare my gaze away from the screen and my eyes were glossing over with what only could be a layer of tears ready to fall.

"Eren? Eren what's the matter?" I swear it was Armins' voice but I couldn't tell.

"Is he okay?" That was Marco right? My breathing was getting shallow as reality clicked in. The words kept scrolling past the bottom of the screen as live footage was playing on the TV.

'Wanted person: Grisha Jaeger apprehended after taken to the hospital due to severe injuries from stop light accident.' 

It was the same. He almost died because of a stupid accident. He's okay though. I shouldn't even care. But I do, it almost happened again. 

"Eren? Eren, its okay." I couldn't even tell who was talking to me anymore. I somehow knew that it was okay but my brain just didn't clue in.

"Shit guys stop crowding him. You're making a scene." I felt sick and my vision was blurry as tears finally escaped.

"He's really pale. What do we do?" I shouldn't have come out today. I was stupid for thinking I'd be okay. I couldn't even remember where I was. I seemed to have lost all sense of time and place and I really was going to be sick.

"Would you guys just shut up for a second." A hand was softly placed on my shoulder and somehow I was moving.

"Hey Eren, c'mon buddy its gonna be okay. You gotta breath you're scaring everyone." I slowly listened to the voice talking to me and I noticed it was Jean and we were now in the washroom crutches placed against the sink.

I felt a wave of nausea come over me and Jean seemed to have noticed as he helped me move quickly to one of the stalls. I moved as close to the toilet as possible without hurting my leg and just let everything go. After about 2 minuets of dry heaving I was exhausted and my stomach felt wound tight. Tears kept pouring from my eyes as the burn in my throat slowly subsided.

"Armin called Levi so he should be here any minute." Fuck. Shit shit shit. That made a sob escape me and I felt like a complete mess leaning my back on the stall, leg sticking out into another. Jean just sat beside me on the floor and let me cry until the bathroom door opened and Levi walked in. Someone must have been outside the door warding off any other customers trying to get through.

"Thanks Jean." Levi nodded his way and he nodded back as he got up and went outside.

"Damn bright eyes. You need a vacation. Can you stand?" I hiccupped but nodded as Levi helped me onto my one foot then turned his back to me bending down.

"Come on, were going home." I sniffled and waited until Levi practically forced me on his back. I nuzzled my head into his shoulder so no one could see my face as we left the cafe as my friends followed me out carrying the crutches.

I was lost. My mind has never been so unsure on what to feel. I was so mixed up it was exhausting.

We got to the apartment and I had Levi let me down so I could say goodbye to my friends.

Armin handed me my crutches and I gave them all a quick hug. 

"T-thanks for hanging out today. I'm s-sorry." I sniffled feeling like an ass of a friend.

"It's okay Eren, we still had a good time." Marco smiled and Jean nodded.

"We will defiantly have to do this again just let us know when." I managed a small smile and then everyone was gone as Levi and I went up to the apartment.

"What a shitty way to find out." I nodded and sat on the couch laying my head on Levi's lap as he sat down.

"But you know Eren, this is another step. That bastard is okay, and now he will pay for what he did. I know you probably have mixed emotions. I mean he was your father, but he hurt you and I don't have any reason to like him." Levi was staring down at me as he spoke and carded his fingers through my hair.

"It's okay. I get why you'd be mad. I'm a little lost right now...but I think it'll be okay soon." Levi nodded and continued twirling my hair through his fingers.

"You should have a nap bright eyes. You look exhausted. I'll wake you up for dinner, and then we can talk some more." Levi stopped moving his hand as a motion for me to get up.

"Can't I just nap here?" Levi sighed contently leaning further into the couch. He bent over kissing me on the temple then turning down the TV a tad as his fingers began moving again.

"Fine brat but rest." I sniffled and yawned as I eventually fell into a sweet sleep.


	34. LEVI P.O.V: The Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi gets the call about Grisha from the police.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yaaay getting back to the story cause I actually have a clue again...read on mon petite poissons  
> (~°_°)~

This was a good thing. Eren could start to truly move on once all this bullshit was over with. He was in a peaceful sleep and I didn't want to ruin it and waken him to the demons of this world. Of course he had to hear the news of his father while he was out. I made sure to stay home though and I'm glad I did. Eren was utterly lost. You could tell just by looking in those dimmed out emeralds you might call eyes. 

I ended up ordering dinner as I didn't feel like moving from my spot on the couch to wake up the brat. He was snoring softly and I even fell asleep for a little bit. His phone kept buzzing, clearly someone was trying to reach him. I figured it was one of his friends so I ignored it, but it continued to buzz so finally I answered the damn thing.

"What the hell do you want?" 

'Um hello sir this is officer Braun is Eren there by chance?' Woops. 

"Uh he's asleep at the moment this is his boyfriend...is this about Grisha?" I closed my eyes leaning further into the couch.

'Yes. He was apprehended. He is under watch at the local hospital right now as he was in an accident, all though only has mild injuries. We will be putting him into temporary containment when he is released.'

"Temporary? What the hell do you mean?!" I was starting to get angry, Grisha would probably think of some shit way to do something if he was released. I couldn't fathom the thought of him being any where else but jail.

'Well yes. He can be released on bail, but he will have restraining orders, as well as cops watching him at all times, until the court date.' Fuck that. No fucking way this was actually going to happen.

"Are you stupid?! Isn't there something safer you can do?" I couldn't help myself...if Eren wasn't safe then...fuck.

'Sir do remember who you are talking to.' 

"Christ, well will we get more information once he's released?" 

'Of course. Actually we would like Eren to come in to the station preferably tomorrow to go over some stuff you may join as well, if Eren would like.' 

"Sure what time?"

'Anytime in the afternoon is good.' 

"Ok thanks."

'No problem, we'll see you soon.' I hung up his phone and looked down to see Eren awake and staring up at me.

"Who was that? You sounded angry." He rubbed his eyes and slowly sat up into a sitting position.

"It was officer Braun. We need to go to the station tomorrow." Eren visibly tensed as he knew what it had to do with.

"D-did he say anything about....?" I took a breath ready to tell him, I can't expect him to be completly relieved at the information...I mean it was his father, but God did I want that man in jail for eternity.

"Grisha has minor injuries. He will be in temporary containment once released from the hospital." Eren took a moment to go over what I said before grabbing my wrist tight and looking at me frantically. 

"W-what do you mean temporary? He's gonna be released? What if-what if he finds me, what if-" I grabbed his hand that was squeezing my arm before it fell off and hugged him close.

"I think that's what we're going to talk about at the station. They wouldn't just release him so you'd be in danger. Everything is going to be over soon bright eyes. Then me and you are going on a longgggg date...no ifs ands or buts." Eren relaxed a bit and nodded nuzzling into my shoulder.

"Okay. It's a deal." 

The rest of the night was rather quiet. We got our food and ate in silence. Well more like Eren did. I tried to talk to him a bit but you could tell there was a storm brewing in his head. Fighting a war in his mind on emotions. I eventually just let him stay quiet and we watched TV and curled into each other on the couch before we were dozing off in the living room, waiting for what tomorrow would bring.

 

The next morning I woke up with a kink in my neck and a brat on top of me. I guess the couch wasn't a very good place to fall asleep, but at that moment it seemed like the best idea. Eren looked to be in a deep sleep but for the love of God I thought my back was going to break.

I poked him in the cheek a couple times before he swatted me away. I couldn't do much since I was being crushed so I continued poking his face and lifting his eye lids before he opened them himself.

"Mmmn what do you want." I couldn't help but to smile at my cute boyfriend as he slowly woke up.

"Oh Eren you're awake? I didn't even know." Eren glared at me, well attempted to and moved himself so he was completley on top of me, more so then before, face right above mine.

"Oh ya I've totally been awake this whole time." He smiled at me with an evil look in his eye.

"Ya so how about you get off of me now?" I swear he was getting heavier by the minute. I should've saw this coming.

"I dunno Levii im pretty tired." With that he let his head fall into the side of the couch over my shoulder, and let the rest of his weight go.

"Eren, I swear to God you are so heavy, I think I'm going to die." I managed slowly, I'm sure, dying from lack of air. I felt his body shake for a second before I realized he was giggling like a child.

"You. Have. 3 seconds. To get off." That's it he was gonna get it. I counted aloud and his giggles turned into a laugh and then a high pitched screech as I grabbed his ear and pulled on it.

"Ow, hah ow ow, Lev-hah Levi let go. I'll move, ha I'll move." I let go and Eren carefully rolled off the couch keeping his broken leg out of harms way.

"That's what I thought brat." I smirked and Eren eventually stopped laughing. I wish every morning could be this nice, and it will be eventually. I'm glad he was able to smile today even just for a little bit while his mind was off of shit he shouldn't have to think about. 

Eren eventually got back on the couch in search of his crutches. Which I skillfully placed behind the couch. He groaned in defeat and laid back against it.

"Levii where's my crutches...I gotta pee." I walked over to where Eren was with them in my hand standing far enough so he couldn't get them.

"What do I get in return?" I raised an eyebrow waiting for an answer.

"Gimme the damn things and you'll find out." I smirked and handed them over as Eren moved as quick as he could to the bathroom to relieve himself. He was in there for quite a while when finally I heard the shower running and someone get in.

"Leviiii." He called me to the bathroom and I went in to see his head peeking out of he shower curtains from where he was sitting on his stool.

"You're a brat. What do you want?" He moved his head back behind the curtain and stuck out a finger motioning come here. I stood there for a minute until Eren's voice echoed through the room.

"Levi don't you want that thing...ya know for getting my crutches for me?" I don't know what got into him but it made me blush at the thought of what he might do and I was in that shower faster then my feet could move. I looked down at his lean tan body under the spray of the shower and he looked up to smile at me.

"Ok ready for your surprise?" He was grinning wide and I couldn't help but smile back a little nervous mind you.

"Ya ya brat, what is it." 

"Ok close your eyes and come closer." I did as he said and as my eyes stayed close for a while the anxiety of what he was going to do was eating at me, and then just when I thought he wasn't going to do anything lips met my stomach as he blew into it making a fart noise. As soon as he did that uncontrollable laughter left him and I couldn't help but laugh as I rolled my eyes.

"What is with you today brat. You seem to be in a good mood." He was still laughing as he nodded his head.

"Well I mine as well get washed up since your ass dragged me in here." I went to turn around to grab the soap but Eren grabbed my arm pulling me into the shower spray and a deep sloppy kiss. His lips were sweet and they moved with his hands as they searched my body. Eventually he let out a moan and I slipped my tongue in completly taking over his mouth. My back started hurting from bending over and with one final swipe of his tongue I broke the kiss. Both of us panting with swollen red lips.

"God L-Levi I'm so in love with you." That caused me to blush as I tried to look the other way to hide it. 

"And I'm so in love with you bright eyes." His eyes were defiantly brighter this morning and I only hoped they'd get brighter and stay like that throughout the day, hell for the rest of his life.


	35. The Station

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren and Levi go to the police station.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boop. Chapter. Feels and stuff. Continue on...  
> Also I will be posting a new fic when this one is over except this time I have it planned and if you enjoy this one I'm sure you'll enjoy the next one :)

I managed to wake up in a slightly better mood then usual. I had a lot on my mind all night so it was nice to give myself a distraction for a change. I was lucky to have Levi, especially for him to put up with me. Nothing grew too heated during the rest of the shower except a few more shared kisses. Breakfast was nice and the atmosphere was light. The afternoon was growing closer and I did my best to keep my mood up. It got more difficult as time passed slowly feeling a heavy blanket of nerves and stress falling over me. Honestly it sucked going through such mood swings, it was exhausting but I'd do my best to be happy for as long as I could.

Eventually the afternoon moved upon us and after lunch we were standing in front of the police station hand in hand. Well more like Levi's hand on my shoulder, cause you know...crutches.

Opening the doors to the station we approached the lady at the front asking for officer Braun. We waited for a bit until him and officer Hoover led us further in to a desked area. 

"Hello Eren, Levi. How are you two today?" Officer Hoover motioned for us to sit down at the chairs opposite of theirs. 

"C-could be better." The police station kinda freaked me out even though it was probably the safest place in the city. Levi just kept his hand in mine to help me relax.

"So I'm sure Levi filled you in on our conversation last night. Correct?" I nodded and officer Braun grabbed a few things from his desk.

"I know this is kind of short notice but for everything to go a little smoother and possibly get Grisha an early court date, we would like to ask you a few questions for record."

I mean I couldn't really say no. We were here and I couldn't run off. The happiness from this morning faded and the emotional storm came back full force. It's stupid really. Having a loving father for a huge part of your life and then BAM, you're trying to throw him jail. It's not like I didn't think he deserved it. I knew what he did to me was wrong, I mean I'm fucked with crutches for another week and a half. It was just hard to get past the 'what if he could get better.'

"Hey Eren? You alright?" Levi whispered to me. Assuming I zoned out I nodded and quickly apologized.

"Uh, ya. I will answer your questions." Both officers nodded standing up.

"We just need to go to a closed off room, somewhere quieter." You mean an interrogation room...ugh I really hated police stations. I should like cops really, but they reminded me too much of my mother. Being surrounded by them for what seemed like a very long time since the accident. I stood up and Levi and I followed the officers into a room where they setup a recorder and some files.

They went through the whole I'm with Eren Jaeger and Levi Ackerman at blah blah time and date. Finally finished with the setup they flipped the file open to ask their questions.

"So Eren, when did the abuse begin?" 

"Last...last day of school. Beginning of summer." I felt like my voice was going to betray me as I answered.

"Ok and how were you abused? Just take your time we don't need too much detail." I nodded closing my eyes taking a few breathes. Levi placed a hand on my leg gently squeezing, reassuring me he was there.

"Um physically...kicked, p-punched, objects thrown at me, st-strangled." My breath was picking up thinking about the pain and the evil look in my father's eyes. A look I'd never thought I'd see.

"Do you remember the last time you were in contact with Grisha Jaeger?" The night he almost killed me. The night I almost died because I was too stupid to call the police before. The night I made Hanji get hurt due to my idiocy.

"About...about 4 weeks ago." I felt like my voice was on auto pilot. I could hear my own words echo in my head and felt like my heart was beating through my chest.

"Was Grisha involved with things like drugs and alcohal?" My hand held my pant leg, knuckles turning white at the grip.

"Y-yes. Both." 

"Now to just clarify, Grisha Jaeger had the police called on him due to the severe abuse and attempted manslaughter of you, Eren Jaeger." My eyes burned, they knew the answer to this and I felt like I couldn't answer. My chest felt tight and my head felt like it was going to explode. I wanted to just wake up like it was a dream. Mom and dad would be here both smiling and happy. Dad wouldn't have that deathly look in his eyes. 

I clenched my eyes shut trying to will away the tears. All I had to do was say yes. One simple measly word. That's it and I could go home, I wouldn't have to worry about getting hurt. 

"Eren, it's okay." Levi had a hand on my back attempting to comfort me. With all the sound I could well up I managed to let out a yes. A cracked broken yes. I felt like I betrayed him. Family was supposed to stick together right? 

Finally a sob escaped me, both officers thanked me finishing the session and leaving the room not forcing us out right away. My body shook and I gasped for air between each sob. I shoved my head in my hands leaning over just letting whatever dignity I had left, if I even had any, out. 

Eventually I was in Levi's arms holding onto the back of his shirt for dear life. 

"It'll be okay Eren. You did good, it'll be over soon." I continued to cry, losing all sense of reality as my body was wracked with more sobs. I haven't cried this hard since this whole thing started. I cried sure, my body would betray me more then once, but this time it was harder and longer. My gut hurt from trying to hold it in and I felt sick. Levi just held me close the whole time.

"Just let it all out, you need this, we're almost there." He kept rubbing my back and I'm sure his shirt was completely stained in my tears.

"A-am am I a bad, a bad person?" Was I? Because that's all I felt. 

"Why in the hell would you be a bad person Eren." Between sobs and harsh breaths I answered.

"W-we're family, I...how could I do that. W-what if he could change." Levi squeezed me tighter and I cried harder. I felt like I was going to puke just from sobbing so hard.

"You're not a bad person Eren. You need to be safe. If you didn't say anything I would. I don't want to see you hurt again." I don't know how much time passed. An officer came in with a glass of water at one point. I was sick and tired of this mess. I was fed up with how weak I felt. Eventually my sobs died down and everything hurt. Not just my stomach or my eyes, but my heart fucking hurt. 

"How you doing bright eyes?" I sniffled and looked up at Levi.

"C-can we go home now?" Levi kissed my forehead and stood up.

"Of course." He cleaned my face with tissues that somehow made their way into the room. As we passed the mirror on the way out of the room, I saw puffy red eyes and with a final broken glance we left the room and the station finally going home.


	36. Driving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren gets in a car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yayy chapter! Also I couldn't help it and posted the first chapter to my new fic, its called what's really going on? So go check it out! I already have a few chapters written for it and well ya...anywhoddddlees go read my noodles.  
> √(°.°)>

I spent the next couple of days resting and creating drawings as Mike had told me to. I had to write in the journal a couple times, as I woke up to nightmares. The day at the police station was hectic. It took me a while to feel a bit better about the situation but I was still conflicted. Whenever I felt like I couldn't handle reality I'd pick up my pencil and begin to draw. 

I drew a multitude of things. Although I was only asked to do one drawing a day. I'd get lost in my work and be sitting there for hours. I recently drew up something that the shop Wings of Freedom inspired me to do.

I worked on it for most of the day, erasing, drawing, erasing and finally colouring. My hand was cramped and Levi walked over to see what I had been doing. He was usually intrigued by what I would create so I let him see.

"So what did you make this time?" I shyly handed my book to him as he glanced at it smiling. It was two wings over lapping one another one blue and one white.

"Uh I was thinking about the name of the pizza shop...and well this just came to me." He handed me back my book and sat down beside me.

"Hm you know...we don't have any good icons for our sign. Maybe Hanji could get another one made with this symbol on it." 

"What? Really!?" I smiled wide and Levi nodded his head taking a picture of my drawing and sending it to Hanji. 

More time passed as me and Levi relaxed, watching movies and eating lunch. The days had come to be more relaxing as they grew further from the day at the station. Yet I had one main thing in my mind. I'd been thinking about it since my last appointment with Mike, and well it finally took me up until today to actually go through with it.

"Hey...Levi?" 

"What is it brat?" He turned around from where he was in the kitchen to face me.

"I was thinking...uh can we- well, can you help me...I wanna get used to a car again." Eventually after stammering so much like an idiot I managed to get it out.

"If that's something you really want to do, then of course." I smiled although a little nervous and nodded.

"Maybe just get the sense of sitting in one again?" Levi nodded and after dinner we went down to where his car had been parked and I had to take a deep breath. I don't think even Levi has been driving much since I came into his life. Anytime he was out he was usually with me so we took the bus.

Levi got in the driver's side after he opened the door for me and waited for me to get in.

"Remember Eren, if you feel panicky don't feel like you can't get out. Okay?" I nodded and got into the car closing the passenger door.

I looked at my surroundings. Taking even breathes to keep myself calm. We weren't moving so we couldn't get into an accident. We were just sitting in an enclosed space. For a moment I thought about mom. About how she felt sitting in the passenger seat, probably scared out of her mind. My breathing picked up a bit and I felt Levi grab my hand in his. He squeezed it lightly rubbed the back of it slowly with his thumb.

"We're okay Eren. We're okay." Just like that I was able to steady my breathes again and once again focus. I closed my eyes leaning my head back into the seat before smiling and opening them.

"Ya know, I think eventually I'll be able to do this." I looked at Levi and he looked at me.

"Bright eyes I know you will be able to do it. No matter how long it takes it will come." I leaned across the middle stopping as I couldn't reach any further. My face was close to Levi's but not close enough. Turning his head he looked at me intensely before his lips met mine and moved passionately. The kiss lasted for a bit until we broke apart and leaned back into our seats. 

"I think tomorrow I wanna come out again." 

"Maybe...maybe we could start the car up?" It sounded silly sitting still in a car only to have it running. It wasn't though. Not for me, I had to take it slow and it would be the next step towards actually sitting in a moving vehicle that wasn't a bus.

"We can camp out in the damn car for all I care. I'm really proud of you Eren. You've been really doing your best latley. You don't know how happy I am...ya know alot of people could learn from you." I blushed at the compliments Levi threw my way and looked out the window.

"Heh ya...well let's go back inside ya?" I heard Levi quietly chuckle as we both exited the vehicle. Levi locking the doors as we went upstairs.

-  
The day finally came once again that I had to meet up with Mike. This time it was a bit longer as we went through my journal. We talked about triggers and I told him how I was gonna try getting in a car again. He said that it was really good and to keep writing in the journal. We talked a bit more and even Levi spoke a bit and then it was over. Booking another appointment and then we were gone.  
-

We had been working on getting in the car everyday for a week and a bit. It was getting easier. The first time I got into the running vehicle I had panicked. I felt silly afterwards but Levi comforted me. He helped me relax and we tried again. Now I could sit in the running vehicle with ease. Every now and then I would panic a little but I could calm myself down. 

Today we were going to move. We were only going to drive around the block but I was already stressed out just by thinking about it.

"We don't have to do it yet if you don't want to." I shook my head hopping towards the elevator with my crutches. I couldn't wait to get the damn cast off. Only 2 more days. 

"It's okay I gotta do it sometime." We continued our way down making our way to the vehicle. I got into the passenger side and Levi got in as well starting the car up. My hands shook as I went to put the seat belt on, only for Levi to take it from me and do it himself.

"You better tell me when you need a break. I swear to god even if you feel a little panicky you tell me." 

I gave Levi an uneasy smile and nodded. We were only driving around the block today. It was simple. It wasn't crowded and there were only a couple stop signs. I just had to focus on what was really there. On reality and where we were going.

"Ready?" Levi looked a little worried as I nodded and he began to move forward. I held onto the armrest tightly but kept my sights straight ahead. Deep breathes, in and out. 

We made it to the first corner okay. Levi stopping and then turning right. It was just a big circle I could do this. 

"So Eren you excited to get your cast off?" I smiled as I knew Levi was trying his best to distract me.

"Y-ya can't wait." I managed and kept looking ahead. We made it to the next turn and I was starting to feel a little nauseous. I didn't want to stop we were almost there.

I gave a confused look to Levi as he pulled over. He turned the car off getting out and moving to my side of the car.

"W-what are you doing." He unbuckled my belt and had me turn to face him before he grabbed my face with both his hands.

"I'm not stupid Eren." Well clearly...I was a little angry that we'd stopped but I was also so greatful.

"You're whiter then a ghost. I told you to tell me when you weren't feeling okay." I relaxed and sighed lunging forward to hug Levi.

"I know, I'm sorry thank-you. I honestly wasn't feeling to good so thank you." He squeezed me back and after sitting there for a bit he got back into the drivers seat.

"Did you want to try and make it back to the apartment?" I nodded and Levi kept one of his hands in mine as the other held the wheel.

I focused on getting home. I focused on how soft Levi's hand was and how small it felt in my hand. Turning the final corner I glanced at him. Looking at his dark hair and mesmerizing eyes. How his lips, nose, and even ears looked. Instead of freaking out I memorized each feature of Levi's face and suddenly we were home.

Levi parked the car and looked in my direction squeezing my hand tight. I blushed as he smiled wider then I've ever seen before. He quickly bent himself towards me pecking me on the cheek.

"How about we head inside and I'll make dinner?" I smiled back at Levi and nodded. 

"Levi?" He stopped from fully getting out of the car.

"Can we...do you think maybe we could drive to get my cast removed?" I was a bit nervous just asking the damn question but I wanted to try.

"Of course. But no pulling what you almost did today." 

"Thank-you Levi." He blushed and finally left the vehicle. If we kept this up, using the car would be a regular thing. That was one thing I could say I was excited about. Something I could absolutely say made me happy and helped me realize that eventually, although things can be shitty, they can and will get better if you try.


	37. It's You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren goes to get his cast removed and they get a little more then that at the hospital.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a chapter...later then usual. I've been preoccupied with my dog he got attacked and broke his hip :( so I literally have to carry him around everywhere and help him do everything, so chapters might be a bit more spaced out then usual! But I will continue to post of course, so enjoy the chapter!! Next chapter will be in Levi's P.O.V.

I was finally getting my cast removed. Thank the heavens or whoever else you want to thank...I don't care. My leg itched under the cast at the thought of it finally being removed. I was in barley any pain these days, my leg only felt heavy and bothersome. I wanted for the life of me to try walking without my crutches...stupid I guess but I felt okay enough to do it. Levi caught me attempting it and well that was the worst lecture I've probably ever gotten.

"Hey Eren you ready?" Levi called already at the front door shoes on and keys in hand. Right. We were driving today. I visibly gulped and put my shoes on before standing and nodding.

"We don't have to drive there if you don't want to." Obviously Levi noticed. The last two days we've been driving around the block, I was generally okay but I would slightly panic now and then. I knew I wouldn't get better with the snap of my fingers but I wished it worked that way.

"N-no I want to." Levi nodded and we made our way out and to the car.

Levi started up the engine turning up the radio slightly as it had helped to distract me a little bit.

"Just remember if we need to pullover for a little bit let me know. We have lots of time." I smiled and buckled myself in and we were on our way.

The ride wasn't long but it felt like an eternity. We did have to stop for a couple minuets after the main intersection, but after that Levi was able to coax me and we made it to the hospital in time.

We sat in the waiting room...well you know waiting for my appointment. Levi had a look of disgust on his face as a kid was coughing up a lung just two seats over.

"Tch, its already half an hour past you're appointment, if they don't call you soon someone's gonna get it." Levi sat there brows pulled together leaning his elbows on his knees. I just chuckled and laid my head on his shoulder.

Finally we were called back and headed towards the doctors office. We got settled in and Levi helped me up on to the examination table and then took a seat in the extra chair. The nurse pulled out a folder to ask a few brief questions.

"So, Eren how's the leg feeling?" I ran a hand down my cast.

"I've felt barley any pain lately. I feel like I'll be able to walk on it once this things off." I looked up as Levi started to speak.

"Ya in fact I caught him trying this morning. A little too anxious I think." Levi of course had to share that little fact.

"Well that's good news! We are just going to have to get a quick x-ray before we take the cast off. As soon as we get that we'll bring you back here and the doctor will be with you." I nodded my head and another nurse wheeled in a wheelchair so I didn't have to hobble all around the hospital.

We made it to the x-ray room and once again we were waiting. You'd think if you had an appointment you'd get all this done right away. Guess I was wrong...I mean we are in a hospital but still. They were taking forever and me and Levi were practically falling asleep in our chairs. Fed up with all the waiting Levi decided he'd had enough. I'd swear he was a patient guy with me... But with others I couldn't say as much.

"What the hell is taking so damn long?" The secretary at the front jumped a little as she looked up from her papers.

"Oh sir I'm sorry. You are with Eren Jaeger correct?" She clicked away on her little computer as she spoke.

"Yes, we've been waiting so damn long we'd be able to go to Antarctica and back and we'd still be waiting." Levi had his arms crossed and the secretary looked a bit frightened.

"I'm sorry sir. There was an emergency that needed the x-ray room ahead of you two. They should be out any momen- ah there you go." She pointed at the doors where a man was being wheeled out of. Levi quickly looked over to the door and walked back to me sitting down and taking my hand. He shoved his face in between my shoulder blade and I looked at him confusedly. His face was a bit paler then usual and his grip tightened on my hand.

"Levi? You okay?" He threw his hand up to cover my mouth.

"Shhh stop talking brat." The man in the wheel chair was parked across from us as his nurse filled some things out with the secretary. He had long hair and stubble that covered his face, along with a scar that covered his right cheek. He kept staring over at us...well more like Levi. I could feel Levi shaking and taking deep breaths and it was making me a bit nervous. 

The man in the wheelchair had braces and bandages covering alot of his body. Finally his eyebrow raised and a smirk grew on his face as he attempted to wheel himself closer.

"Levi? That you boy?" I felt Levi completley tense, shaking stopped and then started up again. He moved his head to look up at the stranger and gulped.

"Well i'll be damned it is you." He couldn't wheel any closer as he was already exhausted.

"Uhh...Levi? Who's this?" The man chuckled darkly and Levi glared over at him.

"Kenny. I thought you were in jail." Levi continued to shake...it slowly started clicking that this was the man that must have hurt Levi. He hadn't told me much except he got better. He said he got through it and the man went to jail. By the way Levi looked, it had to be him.

"Got out on good behavior?" Levi scowled yet he couldn't help the quiver of his bottom lip. He hadn't realized he was squeezing my hand unbelievably tight, but I guess I knew what that was like now.

"So how are things...champ." His smile was evil as were the dark eyes he stared at us with.

"Don't, Don't call me that asshole." I felt useless in this situation. All I could do was let Levi cling to me.

"Tsk, tsk my boy. Is that anyway to talk to your family?" Levi looked at him then looked away.

"Shut up, we may be related by blood, but you are not my family. Eren were gonna move." I nodded and we were stopped as the next words left Kenny's mouth.

"Jaeger? You're Grisha's son?" I stuttered out a yes before Levi told me not to answer the fucker.

"That old shit is lucky he's going to jail...well maybe. Pretty sure he's got a couple gangs looking for him, due to unpaid debts." He laughed and kept talking.

"It's too bad really. If he were still out and about I'm sure they'd take his beautiful son as a trade." He sighed and tapped his fingers on the wheelchair arm rests. Could that of really happened? Levi glanced over at me and moved closer to Kenny.

"Shut up you don't know anything." Levi seethed, teeth clenched together.

"Oh don't be so wary now Levi. I was the head of one of the gangs. I would definitely take him as trade. He seems like someone you could train." He put air quotes around the word train, insinuating only something he understood.

Levi visibly had enough and pulling back he let a fist fly hitting Kenny right in the cheek. Kenny instantly held his cheek and glared up at Levi as a security guard came rushing over.

"You worthless child. What's the matter with you. Still acting like a two year old." Kenny spit as he was quickly wheeled away from the situation. Levi stayed standing there shaking with clenched fists. A security guard asked him to leave but he hadn't even heard him. Once I quickly told him what had happened and said I needed Levi with me he walked away. Of course with a sharp eye on us. 

Kenny was now out of the room and I wheeled myself so I was facing Levi's front. I grabbed his now slightly bruised fist and kissed it. 

"Levi?" He didn't respond. Just kept staring straight ahead. There were only a few other people in the room who glanced our way a few times but they didn't pay much attention.

"Hey, Levi you alright?" Probably not but I'd ask anyway. 

"Levi...?" He finally snapped out of his trance and looked down at me. His lip quivered and before he could speak, my name was called.

"Eren will you be okay on your own? I can meet you in the doctors office when they take you back." I'd be okay on my own. I wasn't afraid of an x-ray. I was more concerned if he'd be okay on his own.

"Well y-yes, but Levi wha-" he cut me off quickly kissing the top of my head.

"Okay. I will see you soon." He left the waiting area and I was left being wheeled by the nurse into the x-ray room. Only worrying about Levi the whole time.


	38. LEVI P.O.V: Unsuspected

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi reacts to seeing Kenny. Eren's cast is removed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bloop. Another chapter...also I don't know the actual codes hospitals use so like just pretend it's right even if it's not ;) alrighty then read onnn

My mind was blank and I was shocked. After all these years I had thought I'd got over it. I thought I was doing good, hell I WAS doing good. So how the hell did this happen. How the fuck was he out of jail. 

I walked down the quiet hospital hallway only a few people passing me. My heart was beating loud and I needed somewhere to be alone where no one could see me. I kept walking until finally I saw a washroom. It was a single one and I practically barreled into it closing the door and locking it behind me. I had to try and concentrate, I had to control my breaths. I haven't had a panic attack since I was free from my uncle. I moved so my back was against the door and slid down so I was sitting. Fuck. Levi get your shit together. I squeezed my eyes shut and held onto my hair.

Kenny's face kept flashing through my head and it made me sick. The thought of what he said earlier made me cringe. He was out of jail. He was dangerous. He's back. He's back.

It was inevitable. I focused on my surroundings and the searing pain in my fist. Fuck. I was panicking and the skin on my knuckles was broken from punching the floor...something I hadn't even noticed I did, a little bit of blood covering the bathrooms tiles. Get it together Levi. C'mon Eren is gonna be waiting for you. 

My breath shifted and became shallow. I started to hiccup as I was running short on oxygen. My face felt wet and I had realized I was crying. I managed to shout out some type of curse word and I curled in on myself even more. Why was this happening now. Of all damn times. Eren was getting better he needed my support, and here I was a blubbering baby. 

Someone must of knocked on the door and heard me as it was now opening even though I had locked it. I felt dizzy and couldn't focus on who was in front of me. I kept thinking it was Kenny. He was back he wanted to hurt me again. I felt foolish. I was an adult and yet here I was cowering in fear to some old man.

My head was pounding and the person in front of me knelt down. They reached towards me and an unknown sob sounded throughout the washroom. It took me a second before I realized it had been mine. I tried moving away from the person but I was too weak. Another sob ripped through me as I tried pushing the person away. Kick or punch do whatever I could to stay away from who I only thought to be Kenny.

I couldn't breath and my chest hurt. I felt a pin prick in my arm and looked to see a needle being pulled back. My body started to relax and my eyes slowly followed as they closed and my body and mind went to sleep.

 

EREN P.O.V

I was wheeled into the x-ray room as Levi left me. I didnt hear the nurse speaking as my mind was focused on Levi. I seriously hoped he was okay. I wish I could be with him right now but I couldn't really run off could I.

"Eren sweetie, you okay?" I finally snapped out of it looking at the x-ray technician and nurse.

"S-sorry I'm fine." I tried a light smile and they smiled back.

"Alrighty so do you think you could hop on over to this seat so we can get you ready for the x-ray?" I nodded and with a little help I made my way over. They set me up with a few covers that went over my leg and then they left the room.

It didn't take long and soon both people were walking back in. 

"Alright everything seems to be in good order. I will get the x-rays processed and then the doctor will be with you shortly." The technician walked away and the nurse wheeled me back into the waiting room.

"Did you want to wait for your friend?" She paused waiting for me to respond. 

"Uh...no he said he'd meet me in the room we were in before." She nodded and proceeded to wheel me down the hall.

It was a big hospital and I felt like it was taking forever to get to where we wanted to go. The intercom buzzed on and a loud voice filled the hospital. 

'We have a code blue in the hospital's section D washroom. I repeat code blue.' Hm wonder what that ment. Probably nothing good.

"It means someone passed out, had a seizure, collapsed, really any thing like that." The nurse must have read my mind as she answered my question. I nodded and we finally made our way to the elevator.

This wing of the hospital was pretty quiet except for the few patients and doctors walking around. We finally made it back to the room but Levi wasn't there.

I was getting a bit anxious as some time passed and he still didn't walk in. The door opened and I thought it was Levi but instead it was doctor Farlan, the man who originally kept me alive when I was in the hospital. 

"Hello Eren, so we have some good news and some slightly bad news." I raised a brow...I better not have to keep this cast on. 

"So firstly that cast is coming off. We can do that before I say anything more. Sound good?" I nodded carefully not sure what else he had to say. He muttered a 'good' as he grabbed some supplies. Doing his work, eventually the cast was removed and my leg could breath. It felt a little weird and really light.

I was starting to get worried as Levi still hadn't come back and I was ready to get out of there and search for him.

"Now later we can talk about some exercises to do to get that leg working again. In the meantime you should always be using at least one crutch so you don't have your full weight on the leg immediately." I nodded and began tapping my fingers anxious for the other news.

"Now...Levi came with you today correct?" 

"Uh y-yes." I hadn't realized I was holding my breath.

"Now he used to be a very good patient of mine a couple years ago so I was sure to be the doctor on his case this time." My face most likely paled instantly. If I was holding my breath before, I defiantly wasn't breathing now.

"What's wrong? Where's Levi?" I hopped off the examination table grabbing a crutch and trying to walk for the door. I tripped up a bit as the doctor grabbed my arm.

"Sorry, you shouldn't worry too much. He's fine, he just had a panic attack earlier which is why I came in a little bit late. He's sleeping right now but once he wakes up you guys should be good to leave." So that's why he wasn't here. I felt selfish, clearly he wasn't okay and here I am shoving all my problems on him.

"Why didn't you tell me this first!" I was slightly mad for having to wait this long to hear about this especially when I could be sitting by Levi's side.

"Once again I apologize. That cast did need to come off and I didn't want you to panic too much and forget about it." I sighed and took a stuttering breath.

"O-okay can I please see him?" The doctor nodded and had me follow him around the hospital on one uneasy foot to go find Levi's room. 

 

LEVI P.O.V

Every time I got up I was knocked back onto my ass. Every bruise that would finally heal would be covered with a new one. Every final dark thought that would end would start over from the beginning. Who knew seeing the man that caused all this would bring it all back. 

My eyes were closed but I wasn't asleep. I didn't want to open them, afraid of what I'd see when I did. I remembered I was in the hospital and finally decided to open then when I thought of Eren. I told him I'd meet him in the room we were in. What if I made him panic. What if he was afraid. 

My eyes fluttered open to a dark room. Before I could get up and leave I saw a sleeping Eren in the chair next me. He had his head back facing the ceiling and legs stretched out.

I couldn't help but smile as I noticed his cast was gone and once again relaxed into the bed. The brat was probably exhausted from waiting around. I was still tired and by the looks out the window it was well into the night.

"Oh Levi you're awake!" The nurse startled me and I put a finger in front of my mouth for her to shutup, and pointed to the sleeping Eren.

"Oh, sorry. Anyways how are you feeling?" Like I usually do after a stupid panic attack, although the feeling was foreign and I wished it still was.

"Just a little exhausted." She nodded her head. 

"What about that hand of yours?" I raised a brow and then internally wished she hadn't said anything. A quick sharp pain spread throughout my left fist and I winced.

"Well just a bit sore since you pointed it out. Nothing I can't handle though." 

"Well you can take some tylonel if it hurts too much. If you want you can stay the night and then as soon as you're up tomorrow you're good to go." I sighed and nodded giving a quick thank-you before she left.

I stared at the wall listening to Eren's soft snores. Life didn't need to get any harder. We needed to focus on Eren right now. I panicked today, but I think most of that had to do with surprise and fear for Eren's safety. I could double check with the police but even if he was out of jail, Kenny couldn't be anywhere near me. 

The soft snores stopped and I looked over to see Eren slowly lifting his head up rubbing his eyes. He smiled as he saw me awake and all but jumped over to me the best he could.

"Levi! Are you okay? I was so worried. I'm sorry I wasn't there. You're always there for me and I wasn't God-" he was rambling on and I had to cut him off.

"Slow down bright eyes. I'm okay. I'm just tired, you know the feeling. And for God sakes don't be sorry. You were here to get the cast off and I'm glad you did." Eren was sitting on my bed and he scooted close to me. He wrapped his arms around me and rested his head on my shoulder.

"I just...I don't want you too worry so much about me...if you need to worry about yourself too." He mumbled into my shoulder and I rested a hand on his head.

"Look at me brat." I waited until he lifted his head moving it back so his bright emeralds were staring into my smoky grays.

"I'm going to worry about you as much as I want. The shit that happened back then with-with Kenny. That's done and over with. I was just kinda surprised he was out today. I wasn't expecting it. But I'll be okay." Eren glanced down and his lip twitched wanting to say something.

"I...I'm just...I'm glad you're okay. I love you Levi." He looked back up at me and I moved forward capturing his lips in a chaste kiss. Every time there was enough space to speak I couldn't help but mutter 'I love you' back. We finally broke apart for good and Eren yawned.

"Well we get to stay here tonight, so get comfy brat. Get some rest." We both laid down and I played the part of the big spoon as I wrapped my limbs around Eren holding him tight, never wanting to let him go.


	39. Get Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi and Eren have some friends over for dinner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapters kinda half assed in my opinion lolllll I wasn't sure what to write rather then just jumping into another crazy chapter this kinda happened .-. ...anywho hope you still enjoy :P

The days leading up to today were pretty exhausting. I got a list of exercises from a physio therapist, that I had to do everyday. With much complaining Levi got me to do them everyday this week. I was getting sick of the exercises already though. They were boring and a waste of time. Levi would always bring up the fact that if I wanted to be able to walk with ease sooner I'd better do them. Plus he may or may not have deprived me of kisses until I did the small workout. 

Levi seemed to be a tad on edge since the day at the hospital as well. He called the station asking about Kenny and they said he was released legally. He didn't really get into details, but the police did say he still had a restraining order and was on probation for a year. I knew how Levi felt though. Even though the men that we were most afraid of weren't aloud anywhere near us, they weren't behind bars so we felt a little uneasy.

Levi told me more about his past. How everything that was happening right now was alot what his life used to be like. I felt bad...for getting Levi all caught up in the same kind of mess again. Yet he reassured me many times that he wanted to help someone the same way he was helped. That the cherry on top of the cake was the fact that, that person ended up becoming his boyfriend. 

Levi was almost as on edge as I was this past week... Maybe even a bit more to be honest. Yet he never said anything only focusing on me.

I was waiting at home for Levi to get back from the grocery store. We were having a few people over both agreeing that maybe they'd help us out of this funk. Levi told me to do my exercises while he was gone but he won't know if I don't. Hopefully...

I was sitting on the couch watching TV as the front door opened and Levi came through with two arm fulls of groceries, closing the door behind him with his foot. He walked to the kitchen putting the bags down looking me over before crossing his arms.

"Nope." Was all he said as he turned around putting the food away. I raised an eyebrow and limped my way over to where Levi was, almost used to using my leg again completely. He was facing the cupboards and as I went to put my arms around him he ducked and moved to the side. My arms fell down to my side and I frowned.

"Leviiii." I stood there as he continued moving around me.

"So Eren...did you finish your exercises?" He glared in my direction and I scratched the back of my head. Shit he obviously knew. But what if he didn't. I either tell him the truth and not get in trouble for lying or I lie hoping he doesn't know.  
God I sound like I'm gonna get scolded by a parent.

I gave an uneasy smile and Levi continued staring.

"Y-ya I definitely finished them." I let out a squeak as Levi pinched my ear and pulled me closer to his face.

"Liar." He let go and I pouted. 

"Fineeee but it's so boring I did them like 6 days in a row don't I get a break." Levi finished putting the food away and grabbed my hand pulling me to the couch. He pushed me on it, standing above me.

"You are already walking so well because you're doing them. So keep doing it, it's not like they're hard." I groaned and huffed out a 'fine.'

Levi once again walked off, yet kept an eye on me making sure I did everything I had to. I was sitting on the living room floor doing my last stretch when Levi walked over.

"Tch you're not even trying brat." I had the bottoms of my feet together, and I was supposed to try and move my legs down towards the floor as much as possible.

"Am too." Levi sighed and sat in front of me. He positioned his legs in a v so I could sit in-between them. He placed a hand on each leg and slowly pushed them down.

"Ow ow ow ok. Ok I seriously can't go any further." I shooed his hands away and my legs flung back up. Levi chuckled and leaned over to give me a quick peck on the lips.

"You need to learn to be more flexible brat." He glared at me seductively as I straightened out my legs in a v around Levi.

"So bright eyes since you did your workout I guess you get your reward huh?" I blushed as Levi rearranged his position and began crawling closer to me.

"And since you did it 7 days in a row I was thinking of getting you something special." He continued staring into my damn soul smirking and I swear my face was gonna melt. He eventually crawled over, easily pushing my back to the ground with one finger. Levi bent down giving me a chaste heated kiss that had my arms flying up and under Levi's shirt to feel every part of him. He moved from my lips, tracing kisses down my neck until he reached a spot between my neck and shoulder and began sucking. I let out a moan and Levi moved back up to latch onto my lips once more. 

We were both sporting a definite hard on when the door flung open and a high pitch squeal emitted from the general area. Mine and Levi's eyes both widened as we turned our heads to see Hanji striding over. Behind her was Erwin who was trying to hold in a laugh, Armin who was blushing like a tomato, and Mikasa who looked...well like Mikasa.

"Ouuu LEvII! You forgot about us didn't youuuu! Well continue on we won't judge." She winked and Levi rolled off of me keeping his back towards them, while in the process exposing me to them all. I was going to die. Embarrassment was going to be my killer.

"Tch don't you idiots knock." Levi spat as he got up helping me to my feet. 

"Sit your stupid asses down, Eren come help me with the rest of dinner." Levi was my savoir as I made my way to the kitchen with him.

Finally we were both calmed down and everyone in the living room was chatting up a storm.

"Go ahead and join them brat, you're useless here anyway." I pouted as I stood up straighter.

"I am not useless, but fine." I stuck out my toungue and went to go sit with the rest of the group, taking a spot between Armin and Mikasa.

"So Eren how's your leg been doing. Seems to be healing well." Erwin's deep voice boomed as I smiled. I hadn't actually talked to Erwin outside of the hospital but he was there almost everyday. Probably to comfort Levi but he did talk to me alot, so I felt like I've known him forever.

"Ya its doing great, especially because Levi is forcing me to do my exercises...but they work so who am I to complain." Hanji squealed and I practically jumped through the roof.

"Oh oho so that's what you and little shortie were doing when we got here eyyy?" She raised a brow and had a maniacal smile on her face. I blushed and thank God for Mikasa.

"No one wants to hear how your exercises turn out. I'm practically Eren's sister, and the last person who wants to hear about his sexcapades." Ok maybe not thank God for Mikasa. I don't think my face could get anymore red. We continued talking until Levi called us over to the kitchen for dinner.

"Wow this looks delicious." Armin's eyes were huge along with everyone else's as they looked at the meal Levi prepared, and we all sat down begginning to eat. Hanji and Erwin managed to get a smirk out of Levi a few times during the meal and it made me happy. I'm glad we decided to invite everyone over because it really did help calm me down and I'm sure Levi was becoming relaxed as well.

"Oh Eren me and Erwin decided to use your drawing Levi sent me for the shops symbol! It's perfect and I'm sure everyone will love it!" Hanji was jumping in her seat finishing off the last of her meal. 

"R-really...that's awesome!" Ok maybe I was a bit excited to. Hiding the thing I loved doing sucked, but now even if my name wasn't on it, everyone in town would see that symbol.

After dinner we decided to put on a movie while Levi and I did the dishes. About half way finished cleaning Levi called Hanji over to the kitchen.

"Whatchya want grump." Levi glared at her and sat on one of the kitchen chairs as Hanji sat in the other. I continued washing silently listening to their conversation.

"Kenny isn't in jail anymore." Hanji's face turned serious as she stayed quiet waiting for Levi's next words.

"I saw him when we were getting Eren's cast removed. He said some stupid shit. I called the station they said he still had a restraining order plus a year probation-" It sounded like Levi wanted to say more but he didn't have the words. He finally stayed silent waiting for a response from Hanji.

"I'm sure you'll be physically okay Levi. But how about that brain of yours. What's on your mind huh?" I kinda felt bad because Levi was talking to Hanji instead of me. I mean it's not like he didn't tell me things but it was like he was hiding alot in order to keep me happy. I finished the dishes and went to walk into the living room, sad smile on my face, before Levi grabbed my wrist pulling me onto his lap. He pecked me on the cheek before sighing.

"I...I'm scared." Levi watched my face for any hint of expression. The only thing I could do was lean into him and glance at Hanji.

"That's normal Levi. It's okay to be afraid. Plus look at the cute little thing you've got to stick by your side." She smiled fixing her glasses.

"I have 100% faith in you that you will forget about Kenny. It was just a fluke that you saw him I'm sure. Just remember if you need anything...you too Eren, remember that I'm only a phone call away. You're both tough sons of bitches." Hanji smiled wide and I stood up willingly gaving Hanji a hug, not noticing the soft smile and thank-you Levi mouthed her way.

"Alright hows about we get back to that movie." We both nodded and all headed back to the living room.

Everyone sat packed in tight on the couches and I wouldn't have it any other way. Tonight was defiantly a good idea. 

Somewhere in the middle of one of the movies I happened to doze off. I remember mumbling a goodbye to everyone as Levi lifted my lazy ass to the bedroom. He placed me on the bed and once again I was in a deep sleep.


	40. W.o.F

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren has a nightmare, wakes up to an angel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boop. chapter. So I kinda figured out how this will end so like it's going to be coming to a close soon. There is still lots to write though so next chappy we'll be getting more into da plot anywho read away...

I watched as the casket was slowly being lowered into the grave. My father stood across from me glaring at me every now and then. A million times I was hugged and a million times I was given apologies. I was the one that killed my mother so why were they saying I'm sorry. 

My friends surrounded me, trying to reassure me. Trying to make sure I was okay. They all loved my mother too.

My friends continued surrounding me and I was losing view of the casket. I couldn't see my mother being lowered to her final resting place. I wanted to push my friends out of he way. I wanted to ask them to move but I couldn't. I couldn't talk or walk. Hell I couldn't even move a muscle. They continued to close in on me and I felt suffocated. They grew closer and closer and I couldn't breath.

I squeezed my eyes tight and when everything seemed quieter I opened them. I opened them to the man I feared the most. He loomed over me with an evil glint in his eye. We weren't at the funeral anymore. We were in the middle of no where. Nothing but grassy fields surrounded us and I wanted to run away forever.

"You took away what I loved most. So now I'll take away what you love most." My father disappeared and I faltered on my step back and fell on my ass.

"N-no." Was all I could manage to say. Tears began falling from my face and I tried to make it to him.

I was watching as the same scene unfolded as it did when my mother died. This time Levi was in the passenger seat. I could see myself in the driver's set. Levi was laughing as he looked at me driving. 

I tried running to him. I tried screaming his name but it was a lost cause. My throat burned and ever step I took forward, the scene moved further away. Everything was the same and a loud scream enveloped my surroundings as once again the car crashed. What I didn't know was the scream came from my throat.

\----------------------------------------------------------  
LEVI P.O.V

I woke up to a flailing brunette. His body twitched and his face was covered in sweat. He turned from side to side and suddenly a whimper left his lips. 

"Hey, Eren. It's okay." I whispered to him holding his hand and running my hand through his hair. I repeated myself again but louder as he whimpered again. My chest tightened at the sad noises that were emitting from his lips.

"Eren, it's okay wake up. Come on it's just a dream." Normally I'd be able to calm him down or wake him up but he kept his eyes shut.

"N-no." Eren whispered and tears were falling from his eyes his face scrunched up.

I was getting scared and began shaking his shoulder in hopes to wake him from his nightmare.

"Eren, come on Eren, wake up." I was getting scared as he took shallow breathes and his cries grew louder.

An ear splitting scream escaped him as his eyes flew open not knowing where to look. His eyes traveled the room never stopping and his face turned pale. He rolled out of the bed and as quick as he could ran to the bathroom. I wasn't far behind as I found him with his head in the toilet. He had a look of complete distress as he moved back to lean against the counter. His eyes were shut tight and his face was soaked from tears and sweat.

I moved to sit right beside him and pulled him into my chest. He breathed in sharply and moved his hands up to wrap around my body. A sob escaped him as he squeezed me.

"L-levi, Levi." He continued sobbing uncontrollably repeating my name and holding me for dear life.

"Shhhh, I'm right here it's okay." I rubbed his back softly and held him tightly.

"I-I k-killed you. Mom and you." His tears soaked my shirt and I lifted his head.

"Look I'm right here bright eyes. I'm okay. You didn't kill no one." I continued holding him until he calmed down enough to brush his teeth and I helped him back to bed.

"You'll be okay bright eyes." I whispered as I kissed his forehead and slowly he fell back asleep.

\----------------------------------------------------------Eren P.O.V

I woke up for the second time still absolutely exhausted. Levi was hugging me from behind and I just wanted to stay like that all day. I didn't want to leave Levi. I shivered as I thought of my nightmare, and reached down to grab Levi's hand in my own.

"You up?" Levi softly whispered from behind me making me jump.

"Mmhm." Levi squeezed me tightly before sitting up in bed and stretching. He gave a quick peck to my cheek before bounding off the bed.

He searched through his drawers pulling out a few items of clothing and tossing them towards me. Walking over he began to change and gestured to the other pile of clothes he created.

"I was thinking me and you go out for lunch. I know a nice place, secluded booths and relaxing." He finished changing and I yawned as he pulled my shirt off my head, only to attempt to pull the other over me.

Once the shirt was on he stared at me. I didn't move and he went for my pants. I quickly blushed and grabbed them.

"Levi! I can do that myself." He chuckled silently and stepped away. I pulled on the pants he gave me and met him in the bathroom to brush my teeth.

"I'm still tired. How long have you been awake?" I mumbled over my toothbrush. Levi spit into the sink looking too lively. 

"Uh like the last 3 hours. So I'm starving." I couldn't help but smile at him and finished up in the bathroom.

Levi wandered into the kitchen and I called out to him. "So why are we going out for lunch?"

"Can't I treat my beautiful boyfriend once and a while?" I blushed and followed him to put my shoes on.

"You okay to walk today? It isn't far. If your leg feels stiff I'll carry you." Levi was far to excited for lunch and I was beyond confused. 

We made our way out the door and soon we were on our way. We walked for a bit before I realized we were going in the direction of Wings of Freedom. Levi squeezed my hand tight as we turned the final corner and I stopped jaw unhinged.

"L-levi...levi." I looked over at him to see a smile adorning his face as he squeezed me tight. 

"Beautiful isn't it? I believe it's in the perfect place as well." The logo I had created, the logo of the wings took up the side of the entire building that the shop was in. It was definitely noticeable to any person who walked by. 

A few people stopped to look at the picture and Levi and I wandered closer. In the bottom right corner was my full name printed and I smiled.

"W-why...it's so big...it's a-amazing." I hadn't realized a tear slid down my face. Levi turned to me swiping a finger under my eye wiping it away.

"Somebody as great as you should be noticed for their amazing skills." I couldn't stop smiling. It was almost like sticking it to the man. A huge piece of art, of my creation with my name on it for anyone to see.

Every person forgotten about I practically jumped at Levi crashing his mouth into mine. I kissed him fervently never wanting to stop. Eventually we had to breath and I hugged him tight.

"You should thank Hanji and Erwin too brat. They had to do alot of shit to get the okay to do this." I nodded and quickly limped my way to the pizza shop. I was beyond happy and already in the back squeezing the life out of the two people. 

Hanji squealed and Erwin chuckled deeply.

"So I assume you saw it? Looks pretty good if I do say so myself." I nodded and let go.

"You guys are the best. All of you, thank-you so much." 

"No thank-you that bad boy is gonna attract us some customers." Levi grabbed my hand and quickly pulled me towards the front.

"Sorry to cut this short but, Eren I actually did make renovations so me and you could have lunch together." 

My night was literal hell and the morning was like heaven. I don't know how I'd live without Levi. I don't think I'd stop smiling all day as Levi pulled me out of Wings of Freedom.


	41. A Million Reasons Why

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren points out some bad guys...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ya so I updated later then usual...whoops Im kinda stuck as to what to write in between now and Grisha's court date cause that will come up soon. I don't want it to be too fillery ya know? But I don't want to make it too big that I have to add on an extra 100000000 chapters to finish. Also this chapter is pretty short...Anyways here it is so I hope you like it regardless .-.

...  
A date was set. October 25th was my fathers court date. A feeling of relief flushed through my body when I got the call this morning. Yet my nerves were on edge as the police asked me to come in, to identify the men that came into my home a while back. Levi continuously reminded me that they wouldn't see me, and he'd stand by my side the entire time.

I had to get over myself and just go in and do it. Apparently these men were top on the stations wanted list. They did alot of bad shit that I can't even wrap my head around.

After lunch we headed to the station and I hadn't let go of Levi's hand the entire time. We met officer Braun there, where he led us to the back. 

A row of men were lined up across a wall behind a window for me, but a mirror for them. They all looked pretty similar. If I were to give them a stereotype they'd all follow one of a thug. They were all larger then the average person. Everyone of them with a scar visible on some part of their body, and a tattoo's covering them. They stared in our direction with deadly glares and it made me shiver, as if they could see straight through the wall to me.

"Alright so if you could point out to the best of your ability the three men you saw you will be done here. And we'd appreciate it very much." I nodded and squeezed Levi's hand peering through the window.

I carefully examined the men one by one. I was able to point out all three of them after triple checking that they looked the same as I had remembered.

"Thank you very much Mr. Jaeger. Sorry for bothering you so much. I'll see you on the 23rd." He nodded his head and out we went.

I tried to stay relaxed as we walked down the sidewalk. We decided to take the bus today to lay off the stress a bit. Which secretly I was greatful that Levi suggested it.

"You did good bright eyes." He quickly gave me a peck on the cheek and I blushed hard because we were in public. 

"H-hey Levi do you think we can go to a coffee shop somewhere?" Levi smiled softly and nodded his head.

I didn't feel like going back to the apartment yet. It was beginning to make me feel trapped. I've been shut up in it for so long, it's as if I'd never be able to leave. I liked being out because it got my mind wandering about things I didn't even care about.

Rather then thinking of my hopelessness I would think of the people around me. The smell of restaurants. The cracks in the side walk and the ant hills that filled them. It was nice to clear my mind and do my best to keep the bad thoughts away.

Eventually we made it to a café and I found a spot in the corner while Levi ordered us drinks. Walking back he placed the drinks down and rather then sitting across from me, he occupied the bench spot right next to me. He sat close and grabbed my hand rubbing small circles into it.

I don't know why but his sudden affection, (not that he wasn't affectionate) surprised me. I smiled bright and sipped at the sugary drink Levi chose for me. 

I don't know what brought it up all of a sudden but I had to ask. I know I've thought of it before, multiple times...but I'd just hoped I was wrong.

Levi looked at me confused and I clenched my fists afraid of what his answer would be.

"Eren, is something wrong?" I closed my eyes thinking about the best way to ask...really the best way was to just be up front.

"Umm...I-I've been thinking latley... And well you know that usually isn't good for me..." I tried a laugh but it was merely a puff of air that left me. Levi looked worried as he continued to listen.

"I just...you know I love you, a-and I don't think I've ever loved anything more then I do you." Levi nodded but before he could say 'I love you' back I cut him off.

"So, so I need to ask...please be honest ok?" Levi slowly nodded his head and I looked away to try and gain my bearings. 

What if I was right? I honestly don't know what I'd do. I'd be alone...I wouldn't be able to make it through the damn month. I clenched my teeth and sucked in a breath of air, turning back around to face Levi.

"Do you...do you only l-love me out of sympathy?" I quickly looked down embarrassed and slight panic as he didn't reply right away.

I felt a hand move under my chin and tilt my head upwards. He brushed a piece of hair behind my ear and looked deep into my eyes.

"Jesus brat. You scared me for a second. You must be crazy to think I'd only love you out of sympathy. I love you so much more then just feeling bad for someone. I could list a million reasons why. For starters you're beautiful. Your eyes are mesmerizing and all though I like things clean, that messy hair of yours drives me crazy." I unconsciously smiled and before he could continue talking I hugged him quick and returned to my position.

"Sorry for asking...I just wanted to be sure." Levi squeezed my thigh and emptied the last of his drink.

"I don't blame you. It happens sometimes... But you offer so much that I'd have to be by your side forever to love all of you." My face heated and I finished my drink. 

We threw out our trash and left the shop heading to the bus station.

"Adorable." I raised an eyebrow and looked Levi's way.

"Brave." What the heck was he talking about.

"Artistic. Strong willed. Thick headed." At the last one he held back a smile.

"What are you rambling about?" Levi looked at me staring me up and down.

"Nice ass." I smacked him on the arm and he let out a chuckle.

"What? I couldn't leave it out of the list. I could keep going...you know there are like a million more things I love about you." I finally let out a laugh and I swear there was a skip in my step as we walked.

"Ya well I could do the same for you." Almost at the bus stop Levi looked at me challengingly. 

"Ok, try me brat." I took a second before I began.

"Smart. Smells good. Defined." He stopped me and looked at me funny.

"Wait what's that supposed to mea-?" I cut him off to continue.

"Hush...your eyes are amazing. The paleness of your skin is gorgeous. And I like that I'm taller so I can swoop down and do this." I bent over leaving a wet kiss on his temple.

"You're a little shit. Did I forget to add that?" Levi muttered wiping his head.

The bus arrived and as we got on I thought of a million more reasons why I loved Levi and wouldn't have a problem telling him every single one.


	42. LEVI P.O.V: Let's Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hanji calls insistantly...Eren and Levi go to the mall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This...this chapter is more on the filler side but it's a chapter none the less. The next chapters will be getting into the court scenes and we will almost be finished from there o.o so read on and enjoy!! .-.

'Leeeeevi you haveee to come!' Hanji's voice screeched over the phone resulting in me wanting to rip my own ears off.

"Will you stop calling me if I at least say I will think about it?" I was sleeping only an hour ago, but Hanji's insistent calls woke me and Eren up.

'Yesss! Let me know soon shorty, kay? Bye!!!!' She hung up before I could curse her out for calling me shorty. I sighed putting my phone down on the counter and Eren moved behind me hugging me, placing his head on my shoulder.

"So what was that all about?" Eren inquired curious since the moment I answered the phone.

"She's planning a Halloween party at the end of the month and wants us to come." Instantly Eren released me and spun me around.

"Can we!?" I groaned and looked away from Eren.

"Ughh those things always turn out terribly. You really wanna go?" Eren looked at me eyes big and a pout on his face.

"PLEASEEEEEEE Levi! I love Halloween!" Damn brat...I guess it would be good to have a little fun since it'd be just after his father's court date.

"Fine. You win. But we're not telling Hanji until later, otherwise she will bug us everyday about finding costumes." It looked as if a light bulb lit in Eren's head as he ran to the room coming back with his phone. He stood there scrolling through his phone, purely concentrated what he was looking at.

"What are you doing brat?" I walked over trying to see what he was doing and he held in a laugh as he turned his phone around.

"Oh no. Nonononono." On his phone was a variety of couple costume ideas and I now realized I probably shouldn't have told him it was a costume party.

"Levi we have to dress up together. It will be fun. Maybe we can just go look around, after my appointment with Mike today?" Stupid puppy dog face. The brat had me tied around his finger.

"Of course. Once again you win. But I swear nothing embarrassing." Eren shook his head a million times yes and I sighed as I went to make us lunch since we slept most of the day.

 

I was so not ready for this. Costumes were a no go for me and somehow every year I'd get thrown into one. Eren just finished his appointment with Mike and was a little off, yet he did his best to push the meeting behind him and focus on the task ahead.

The meeting went generally well at first. Eren was happy to talk about his progress with car rides and Mike was happy to encourage him to continue. Sometimes we would have to pull over to give Eren a break, but he did his best trying to do something he's been avoiding for so long.

Eventually we started talking about his nightmares. Eren seemed to be okay with letting Mike take a look through his book but got a bit jittery when he wanted to talk about the reasoning behind them. Especially his most recent one. That turned into talking about the court date and his feelings around that.

Eren hadn't said much. It looked as if he wanted to blurt out everything and anything he was feeling. He was becoming more comfortable with Mike but he still held back.

We were driving today and Eren's mind was probably focused on 1 million things as he hadn't even realized we'd made it to the mall.

"You okay?" I reached over the seat squeezing his hand, and he looked up quickly as if startled from his thoughts.

"Huh? Oh ya. I'm good." Eren tried a smile, yet I could tell it was forced because his real smile made my heart skip a beat. This one...well it just made me want to do everything in my power to make today better.

I nodded and we made our way to the mall doors. Since it was practically mid October most of the stores had out their Halloween stuff. That also means the store they set up every year with costumes should be open. 

I grabbed Eren's hand in mine and pulled him along with me. We passed multiple stores finally making it to the one I had to enter. Eren finally looked up from the ground and I could see his eyes light up just a little bit. I pulled him into the store and we walked around looking at the different costumes and decorations on the walls. Creepy music was playing and I stopped to look at an oddly real looking spider that was bigger then my head.

I looked over to Eren getting his attention. "Look at this thing. It gives me the creeps." The corner of Eren's mouth twitched and he took one step closer.

The spider lunged forward stopping just before me and them slowly moving back into position. I stumbled a few steps back and my reaction must have been embarrassing. This. This is why I hate Halloween. Hanji does this kind of shit to me every year because she knows I scare easily.

I looked over at Eren and he was clutching his stomach letting out a string of laughs tears building at the corner of his eyes. This was the smile that made my heart skip a beat and I'd let him scare me a thousand times if it meant I got to see it.

"Ha-Levi you, you scr-ha-screamed." He kept laughing and I scrunched my brows.

"Did not. I'm sure I would have noticed." Eren just nodded his head fervently continuing to laugh.

"Ok ok I get it. I really hate Halloween. Let's just hurry up." Eren slowly stopped laughing and wrapped his arms around me.

"Aww Levi I'm sorry I wont scare you anymore." Cheeky brat. I pushed him away lovingly and once again we were on a mission looking for a stupid costume.

"How about this?" Eren held up a costume for a ventriloquist and his dummy. 

"No." Eren sighed that being at least the tenth costume he'd pulled out.

"Levii why not?" I turned away continuing to walk down the aisle.

"You probably want me to be the dummy, and I won't hear the end of that one for the rest of my life." I heard a groan from behind me and footsteps following down the aisle.

The footsteps stopped and I turn to see a smiling Eren holding up another costume.

"Levi. This is my final offer. If you don't take it then I will have to find someone else to where a couple costume with." I moved closer to him to inspect, and oddly I was satisfied with his final choice.

"And which one will you be wearing?" Eren smiled and held one higher then the other.

"The inmate of course." I grabbed the costumes from his hands and began walking to the cash.

"Deal. Since I'm the cop though, you have to listen to me." Eren raised a brow. 

"Uh sure... We're gonna look awesome!" I smirked as we left the store.

"Hmm maybe I will have to test the costume before bed...see if it fits." Eren nodded and his nod slowly turned frozen and he blushed as he figured out what I was insinuating.

I think this Halloween would be a bit funner then the others. Plus I wouldn't throw away the costume once it was over.


	43. Court: prt one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Court day finally comes and Eren has mixed feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay chhhhhhaaapter. So after this one there will probably only be 4-5 more chapters o.o but but but but you can go read the other fic I've started :o called what's really going on , anyway read read

As the days passed and the court date got closer, the more I felt anxious and distressed. I tried talking to Levi about it, yet every time I did I would get nervous and talk about something else. 

I couldn't hide my fear any longer as today was court. I was told I had to be there because he was being charged for attempted murder not just abuse. The sound of that made me sick. 

I could tell Levi was trying to be extra cautious today as he woke me up this morning peppering me with kisses and a huge breakfast. I did my best to eat everything he made but it was hard as my mind was in the gutter rather then focusing on eating. He didn't push me to finish my food, only wrapping it up and putting it away when I was done. 

Court wasn't till 1, so after breakfast Levi poured me a bath filled with bubbles hoping to get me to relax. I sat in the tub forgetting to wash myself as I had a hard time concentrating the way my mind was running amuck. It wasn't until the water began to get cold and Levi came in to check on me that I finally snapped out of it and finished my bath.

My clothes were set out for me when I was done and Levi hopped In to the shower as I got dressed. It was simple dress pants, a white dress shirt and I had black shoes we bought when we went to the mall. The shower stopped and Levi came into the bed room to dress himself and I could tell he was worried.

I didn't want him to ask what was wrong. Hell...you could tell he knew something was up yet he just gave me worried glances and stayed quiet. He continued leaving small kisses on my face and would softly say that everything would be fine.

It was ten o'clock which ment we had to leave in 2 hours to get to the court house just a bit early. Levi put the TV on to attempt to distract my mind while he went off to prepare something for lunch so we wouldn't have to rush to eat before we left.

I sat on the couch and the TV was the farthest thing on my mind at the moment. As the time ticked by I felt more sick. I was sending my father to jail. Agaisnt my own blood in court because after years of love and happiness he tried to kill me. I think that's what hits me the most. At a point in my life things were beyond amazing. Now everything is just about me wanting the next day to just be done with already. The only thing I had now was an amazing boyfriend and some pretty great friends. I mean I can't really complain about that but until this is over with I won't be able to appreciate it as much as I could.

"-en...Eren?" I snapped out of it and realized Levi was standing in front of me with a plate and placed it on the table. He sat down beside me placing a hand on my thigh and sighing.

"Eren...what's wrong. I can guess the obvious but you need to talk to me." I keep looking at my feet afraid to share. I know we've been over this so many times but this time I was ashamed. I was getting better at telling Levi what was up but today it was harder. I felt sick because I felt bad for taking my father to court. If that doesn't say crazy I don't know what does. I knew what he did was bad, hell it was beyond bad. I hated him inside and out, yet I felt like I was in the wrong.

"You don't look to good bright eyes. Please tell me what's wrong." I continued looking at the ground, maybe it'd swallow me whole and today could be over. Levi shifted beside me and moved his hand from my leg to my hand giving it a squeeze.

"You know you can tell me anything. You know you can cry if you have to." I tensed my muscles and sniffled as I lifted my head to face Levi.

"Is it? Because I feel like such a fucking baby." A couple tears streamed down my cheeks as I clenched my teeth trying to hold them back.

"Is it really okay to cry because you feel terrible for sending your father to jail? Is it okay to hate your own blood so deep that you could care less about ever seeing them again but also hate yourself for getting them locked up?" The tears continued to flow and I wasn't sure if they were from exhaustion, sadness, or anger. I held a hand over my mouth trying to suppress the whimper that attempted to leave my lips. Levi quickly turned and wrapped his arms around me pushing my head into his shoulder and playing with my hair.

"Fuck. Of course it's okay to cry. Eren trust me when I say I know this is hard." A sob wracked my body as Levi continued twisting pieces of my hair.

"I'm not going to tell you how to feel. I will tell you what's happening is the best thing for you. I can tell you once it's over you will be relieved and I can tell you that you won't ever have the fear of him hurting you again. What I can't tell you though is how to feel. Let yourself cry, let yourself feel sad, feel angry, feel happy, because once this is over I promise things will get better." I continued to sob at Levi's words. He was right. I knew once the day was done I could finally begin to build my self back up again. I can become the person I used to be, hell I could become someone even better. Today and from here on out I needed to let out my feelings. I couldn't lock them away and if that ment sharing them or crying, laughing, and even screaming then that's what I'd do.

Levi rubbed my back in small circles as we sat there for what seemed like an hour and finally I was out of tears. My face felt stiff as they dried and I frowned as Levi's shirt was probably soaked. I sniffled and moved away from Levi only to move back to lock our lips together.

"I love you. I'm nervous and scared but I think I can get through it if you're there." Levi planted a final kiss at the side of my mouth holding my face in his hands.

"And I will be. I won't ever leave you alone. I love you too bright eyes." A small partial smile adorned my face and Levi leaned over grabbing the plate that was on the table.

"Now try to eat ok? We gotta get going soon." I took a deep breath and nodded as I took the plate leaning into Levi's side as he held his own. We watched whatever was on TV as we ate our lunch. Once we finished Levi got up to put the plates in the sink to only realize it was now 12 o'clock and we had to head out. We slipped on our shoes and coats and headed down stairs.

 

We managed to make it to the court house without stopping. I felt a little sick but managed to push through it for only a new kind of sickness to hit me. There wasn't alot of people as we talked to a woman about where to go and meeting with one of the police officers. 

I honestly had no idea as to what to do, but I kept reminding myself that I had Levi. We got everything set and after waiting a bit more we were brought into the court room. All I had to do today was confirm my fathers actions. 

Levi sat next to me squeezing my hand as I focused on taking deep breathes. It was pretty quiet as a few people moved into the room taking their seats.

My stomach flipped as the doors opened a final time. A cop leading in a cuffed Grisha Jaeger, to the table across from mine. He didn't look sad as he glared at me making me flinch. 

I was brought to my feet as the judge entered the room practically being held up by Levi as my legs felt like jelly. We soon sat down once again and all I could do was take another deep breath.


	44. Court prt.2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Concern and realization.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Court court court court scene. I had to Google average prison time for attempt of murder...and now I feel like if someone found my Google history just....I'd get some questions haaaaaa. Anywayyyys the fic is almost done o.o I'm thinking 2 more chappies?? Halloween chapter for shizzle because I said so and ya idk yet. Anywayyyys enough of my rambles go go go read!! .-.

I cringed as my father swore to tell nothing but the truth, as he stood next to the judge behind a stand. 

The judge was focused on him and I had to squeeze Levi's hand to remind myself that he was with me and I wasn't alone.

A lawyer stood up and made way to Grisha, prepared to ask the questions he had, hoping he would get the answers he wanted.

"Grisha. Is it true that you abused your son both physically and mentally?" The court room was quiet and I swear I gulped loud enough for the world to hear.

"Yes." He told the truth and I couldn't look at him. I couldn't see what he felt knowing he was telling the truth.

"Have you been involved in buying and taking a multitude of drugs?" The quietness once again enveloped the room as a yes fell from my father's lips.

"Is it true you were going to use your own son as payment in order to purchase more drugs." I held my breath and squeezed my eyes shut. I could hear Levi scooting closer and moving his hand to my back.

"No." I didn't know how I'd feel when I got here but right now I was angry. He lied and I was mad. I think Levi could tell as he rubbed circles into my back. I'm pretty sure the emotion of anger adorned his face as well.

"Grisha. Is it true you walked into your son's place of work intoxicated." My father didn't look nervous as he tapped his fingers on the stand and readjusted his glasses.

"Yes." 

"Is it true that even after the owner asked you to leave you continued to stay?" 

"No." 

"Is it true that you made way to the back of the store, hurting the owner and then continuing to your son?"

"No."

I couldn't take this. I leaned on the table head in my hands, trying to regain my breath. Focus on breathing in and out.

"Is it true you beat your son, with the intent to kill? Is it true that you Grisha Jaeger ran away from the scene before the cops got there?"

I peeked up through my hands to look at my father. I trembled and sucked in a sharp breath of air seeing what looked like a tear fall from his eyes.

"No, No none of its true." He continued denying that whole night, I wanted to think that maybe it was because he regrets it. That maybe he could change and become a better person. This made the day that much more harder.

I wanted to get up and leave. I didn't want to sit there any longer. I had to tare my gaze away from my father and refocused on staring into my lap.

"Mr. Jaeger, if this is indeed a no can you please share as to what happened that night." The lawyer stopped in front of my father and stared him down. 

"Yes. I was intoxicated, but no one asked me to leave the store. I found a woman and Eren both unconscious. I didn't have a phone at the time so I left in order to find help." I wanted to scream. I wanted to rip my hair out of my head to yell that he was a liar, yet at the same time to stay quiet and that maybe things would work themselves out.

The lawyer flipped through some papers and cleared his throat.

"May I ask why nobody could get in contact with you after that, and the cops had to find you? And maybe you could share with us why your finger prints were all over your son." 

"I wanted to make sure he was breathing." Grisha spat out quickly.

"Then why were you never at the hospital? Did you check if he was breathing just to see if you had killed your own son?" Grisha opened his mouth before closing it. My father's lawyer standing up to get the questioning to stop.

By now my eyes were watering and I was biting my lip to hold back any noises that might come out. Whether they be screams of anger or cries of sadness.

Eventually the judge hit the gavel calling a 20 minuet break. When we got back I would be standing where my father had.

Levi helped me to my feet and we walked out the doors as cops came to collect my father and lead him out of the room. I didn't know I was shaking until Levi wrapped an arm around my waist whispering for me to take deep breathes.

"L-Levi...I can't do this." Levi led me to a bench letting me lean on his side.

"He...he was crying. I saw a tear. Levi...what if he really regrets everything that happened?" I just wanted to leave. I didn't want to be the one making the decision of what would happen to my father. Levi just sat there letting me lean on him continuing to tell me to breath.

Eventually the lawyer on our side came and took a seat beside me crossing one leg over the other.

"You got ten more minutes till we go back in. Just be honest with the questions and this will be over before you know it. How you holding up?" The lawyer readjusted the way he was holding his files and uncrossed his legs. I sat up straighter, no longer leaning on Levi.

"I-I don't know if I can do this." The lawyer sat back throwing a hand up and through his hair.

"Kiddo I'm gonna be honest with you. I've had alot of cases pretty similar to yours...everything your father did and said in there was an act." I clenched and unclenched my fists and Levi was pretty silent on the other side of me.

"H-how do you know. What if he really wants to try to get better." 

"Even if that were the case, it's not going to happen until he realizes what he did was an awful thing to do. Putting him behind bars is the safest thing you can do for yourself. You need to forget about the what ifs and think about the now. If he really wanted to get better he would have told the truth." He patted my leg before standing up and facing me before walking away.

"We got two more minutes. I'll see you soon." I nodded and squeezed my eyes shut and Levi left a kiss on my temple.

"I know this is hard. What that lawyer said though...I think he was right. You're strong Eren, we're almost there just one last push." I let out a final breath of air and nodded. I can do this. I'm almost there. I repeated it like mantra in my head as we eventually made our way back into the court room.

 

I was called to the stand as Levi quickly whispered a 'you'll be okay.' I swore i'd tell the truth and nothing but the truth as I stood behind the podium. Shaking and squeezing my hands together so tight I was probably losing circulation in them, the lawyer made his way over.

"Eren Jaeger. Is it true that your father, Grisha Jaeger physically and mentally abused you?" I glanced towards my father holding my breath.

"Yes." In that instant I knew that what I was doing was okay. I knew that I had to do this to move on with my life as my father glared daggers at me. This was the last time I would ever see the intent to kill behind his eyes. 

The lawyer asked the same questions he did to my father and I agreed to every single one. More time passed and finally the judge spoke.

"I hereby sentence Grisha Jaeger 10 years to Sina Prison for the possession of drugs and attempted murder." The gavel was hit and that was it. I met Levi at our table and my eyes hit my father's one last time. 

Before he left my line of vision I swear he mouthed the word worthless and the way his eyes held a dark shadow over them made me return to that night.

"Hey, Eren...you okay?" No. I was absolutley terrified. I felt as if, even though he was the one being locked up he still had the upper hand. Chatter was going on around me as I was lead out the door and sat down.

I could feel a hand continuously rubbing my back, my shoulders, and even holding my hand. I could feel someone holding there fingers on my pulse point but I was so out of it. I knew where I was. I knew the people around me were trying to help, but what I didn't know was what to do now.

It was as if my brain turned off and I was a robot. I was tired and as the vision of my father looming over me passed my mind I lurched over covering my head. I don't know why I did it. I knew he wasn't here. 

I could finally clearly hear the people around me and I could move although trembling terribly.

"You should get him home to sleep. He doesn't look very well." I kept my head down and through the voices I could finally hear Levi's.

"Thank-you, I'm gonna take him home now." A hand was brought down and I flinched before I realized it was Levi as he lifted my head up to face him.

"Ready to go home?" I nodded and he helped me to my feet. 

We left the court house and we headed home. I didn't talk much for the rest of the night letting the days events occupy my mind. 

Going to bed Levi kissed me goodnight and after alot of thinking, I was finally able to feel safe, now knowing that my worst fears could no longer touch me.


	45. Halloween Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stuff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lolollool basically this is a filler chapter and just uh...there's smut...and what? Ok ya XD
> 
> Anyways next chapter will be the last one it will be like almost a year time skip but that shall be all o.o

Eren couldn't stop laughing because of the overly unimpressed glare that adorned Levi's face.

It was Halloween and today I really did believe was a good day. The week leading up to today was rough. It took some time and I'm sure I'm not quite over it yet but today was a good day.

Levi glared at his own reflection as he ripped the fake mustache off of his face. 

"No. You forced me into the damn cop outfit and that's as far as I will go." Eren continued to giggle as he wiped away a tear.

"Haha fine...fine you look great." Levi turned away to look at Eren in his black and white stripped prison outfit and smirked. He wrapped his arms around Eren pulling him closer so their faces were inches apart.

"You look amazing as always." Eren's cheeks turned red as he closed the gap between the two and they shared a quick kiss.

Levi released Eren and turned off the bathroom light as they both exited the room. Levi's phone buzzed a few times and sighed upon looking at his messages.

"Well we better get going. Hanji is getting annoying and we mine as well get this shit show over with."

"Levi don't be such a grump we will have fun. I mean look at us we will be the best dressed couple there." Levi smirked at his boyfriend and nodded as he grabbed a few things before they headed out of the apartment and towards Hanji's party.

 

There were already cars surrounding the house when we arrived. We had to park some ways down the road and walk the rest of the way.

"Uh this is a pretty big party hm?" Levi grabbed onto my hand as we walked down the sidewalk towards the house.

"It is brat. Just let me know if you want to go home ok?" I nodded and as we got closer to the house we could hear voices and music pouring out of it.

I figured a lot of people would be here because it's a party but I never imagined this many people. People were scattered around the front yard casually talking, dressed up as all kinds of things.

We entered the house and I squeezed Levi's hand tighter as we made our way to the kitchen through a large crowd of people holed up in the living room.

"Levi!! You made it! Oh and look at your costume you guys look great!" Levi pulled me towards a chair and pushed me into the seat. Hanji went to pass him a drink but he denied it mostly for my sake.

I was taking medication and alcohol probably isn't good to mix with them. Levi told me he wouldn't drink and that he was sure others wouldn't be drinking as well and I felt much better.

People kept coming in and out of the kitchen in the search for alcohol, or they would cross over into the back yard where more people stood around.

I was somewhat bored as Levi's friends would come and go to talk for a bit and then leave. I perked up upon seeing Jean and Marco making their way towards the kitchen.

You could obviously tell Jean was drinking and Marco was not by the way he hung on to the freckled boys neck.

"Eyyy Eren how's it goin' buddy?" I couldn't help but laugh at how slow Jean was talking just so his mouth could keep up with his words.

"I'm good Jean...Marco how much has he had to drink?" Marcos lips fell into a straight line as he attempted to remember a number.

"Umm really I stopped counting after 6...no way he is having more." I nodded and laughed as Jean broke free from Marco and the poor guy had to chase him down and most likely take him home.

"So Eren? I know a party isn't as fun without being able to have a few drinks but you still enjoying yourself a bit?" I nodded. I mean sure alcohol can make things more interesting but honestly it was kind of nice to be the one to see everyone get drunk off their asses rather then the other way around.

I pulled Levi onto my lap giving him a sideways hug and laying a sloppy kiss on the side of his mouth.

Levi smirked turning his head to give me a proper kiss, sweet and slow.

"I thought you were supposed to make sure the prisoner didn't get out of hand." Levi turned his head to see Erwin standing there chuckling at his own joke.

"Don't look at me like that Levi. Sheesh you're such a grump." Yet Erwin said it with a smile on his lips and a flick to Levi's head.

"Hey keep your behemoth fingers to yourself." Erwin chuckled again, both of them exchanging a few words before he left.

Levi sighed and I laid my head down on his shoulder. "What's the matter?"

"Eh party's kinda bore me." He shrugged but then got a gleam in his eyes.

"Hey Eren wanna tour of the shitty glasses house?" Regardless of the confusion at this question I nodded and got up to follow Levi. 

We made our way upstairs where it was quiet and had two hallways both with rooms. Levi would knock on a door before opening it just in case so we didn't find anyone, or see anything we didn't want to see.

It was a decent sized place and as we made it to the last room at the end of the hall I looked to Levi who only had a hungry look in his eyes. I knew what that look ment and I gulped yet I wanted to jump Levi where he stood.

"I don't really wanna go back downstairs how about you brat?" I shook my head as Levi bound closer towards me grabbing my head and staring into my eyes with his own sinful ones.

He took to long to move closer so I closed the gap between us, his soft lips crashing into my own. His arms wrapped around me grabbing my ass resulting in a small gasp to leave my lips. Taking that as an advantage Levi slipped his tongue inside my mouth and we desperately clung to each other in a hot and heated kiss.

Levi moved back looking over his shoulder before picking me up and carrying me towards the room next to us rather then staying in the hallway. His lips reattached to my own as Levi kicked the door shut behind us and he placed me down on the large desk sitting in the middle of the room.

Hands moved over each others bodies and Levi's lips moved down my neck attaching to my collar bone sucking and licking at it. He removed himself to make enough room to pull my shirt off over my head and I was frantic to remove his as well. 

He stood between my dangling legs and ground his hips making friction between both of our growing erections. I let out a moan and Levi captured my mouth with his own once again fervently lapping at each others tongues.

His hand slipped into the waist band of my pants and boxers and he let his finger trail up my length. He wrapped his hand around me giving me a few pumps and thumbing at my slit as I tried to hold back my moans.

"Mmn L-Levi more I want more." Levi stopped his actions resulting in a whine from me as he quickly searched through the desk pulling out lube and a condom.

"Knew she'd have this shit in here. Pretty sure she scatters it around the damn house." Levi placed the items beside me as he slowly slid my bottoms down and let them fall to the floor beneath me. I couldn't wait as I pulled him closer and dragged my hands down his legs as I slid his pants down, his erection springing free causing my dick to twitch.

Levi reached for the lube spreading it over his fingers. He placed my leg up on his shoulder scattering everything on the desk as I laid on my back. He circled my hole and slowly and tantalizingly slow he pushed his first digit in and past the ring of muscles. Working it around he slowly added a second bending and scissoring his fingers inside me before adding a third. 

"T-take me. L-Levi I n-need you." He removed his fingers and rolled the condom over himself.

"Tell me if we need to stop." I nodded just to satisfy him as he lined up to my entrance and slowly filled me. I squeezed my eyes shut and turned my head. Once he was completly in he reached a hand down to turn my face towards him.

"Look at me bright eyes I want to see your face." I slowly opened my eyes and began to rut on Levi just wanting to feel movement.

He slowly moved out before slamming back into me continuing his pace, leaning over to lick and nip at my neck causing various strings of moans to be released from myself. 

Levi removed himself from me and spun me over so I was bent over the desk and reentered me with more force. He hit my sweet spot and I couldn't help but practically scream Levi's name.

"Levi! Mnn har-harder." He would almost pull out completly before snapping his hips forward faster and harder each time. 

"L-levi I'm gonna-" Levi cut me off with a deep growl, almost animalistic coming from his throat.

"Come for me bright eyes." That was it as my eyes practically rolled to the back of my head. I released over my stomach and most likely Hanji's desk as Levi thrust into me a few more times before letting out his own moan as he hit his own release.

He fell over top of me breathing heavily along with myself before placing a final kiss on my back and standing up. He pulled the condom off tying it and throwing it in Hanji's waste basket carefully covered by other trash.

We were both sweating and Levi helped me stand and put my pants back on, before getting dressed himself.

"Wait here while a get a cloth." I was exhausted and laid on the floor waiting for Levi as he came back with a wet cloth and wiped the drying come from my stomach and from the desk.

He tossed me my shirt and I threw it on before Levi held out a hand to help me stand.

"I think I wanna head home now." Levi smiled in my direction wrapping his arms around me and leaned his forehead against mine before giving me a peck on my lips.

"Sounds good bright eyes."


	46. Bliss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time skip...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end! I finished and it is short but I didn't want to write a bunch of unessecary things and make it super boring. Anywho thank you for all the kudos and comments and following me to the end!!! Enjoy!

Time Skip -9 months (summer)-

Things were good. Well they were better. I've had very few nightmares...actually come to think of it I've only had one in the last month. When I had them Levi would usually be able to calm me down and I would fall asleep again.

I'm getting better. I've learnt that in order to be happy I had to be the one to make that change. Sure the people surrounding me could help. Levi sure as hell is a huge part of my life and my happiness. But in the end I'm the only person that can say it's time to do this, to do this for yourself, not for the people around you. 

At first I struggled to do it. I wanted Levi to be happy. I didn't want to burden him with my shitty life but of course we talked through it. 

I smile more, talk more, and get out of the apartment more. So I will take the building win so far.

I start school in September. That's one thing I can say I'm excited about. I can finally do what I want with the support of my boyfriend and friends. It took alot to get me to apply but I did it and a million bursary and scholarship applications later I'm almost going to school for free.

Life was hard. It served me a plate of shit on top of shit but I did it. I'm making a future for myself because I decided that I wanted to be happy.

Sure I still get my bad days. Not everything can be fixed so easily, but I still go to see Mike and it's defiantly easier talking to him now. I still take Levi with me but I'm not afraid to go on my own anymore.

Ever since Hanji plastered up the huge logo I created for Wings of Freedom I've had other companies ask me to create something for them. It's nice. It's nice to know that something you once used as an escape, to get out of your own head because you couldn't possibly dream of living in a happy world, is something you get to do now just for fun. To make other people happy in your own way.

I don't think I could be where I am today without Levi. He's the one that stood by my side even when I was making it hard for him. 

We moved closer to the school I would be attending so I could walk to and from. This place had a balcony and in these past months I had managed to find a way to keep myself at peace.

The view from the balcony was beautiful in its own way. If you looked far enough you could see a landscape of gigantic trees meeting the horizon. If you looked a little closer you could see the city.

Anytime I needed to I would come out on the balcony and take my sketch pad with me and just draw. It didn't matter what I drew because in that moment I felt calm and far away from whatever fears I held.

In fact this is where I was currently sitting. The thought of starting school without anyone that I knew made me nervous and over think. So I came out to clear my head.

Levi knew by now that whenever I came out here to draw it was because I had something on my mind. Sometimes he would let me be and only call me in when he made something to eat. Sometimes he would come sit outside with me and talk to me. Not about my worries but about everything else. 

Speaking of the man. Here he came through the sliding door with a drink in his hand. I smiled up at him as he handed over a glass of lemonade and took a seat beside me.

Levi leaned into my side looking at the drawing I had made and traced over the lines with his finger.

"It's pretty." I laughed and he smiled.

"I'm serious brat. Everything you draw is amazing." I blushed at his words and flipped my sketch book closed and sat back in my chair, Levi still leaning into my side his head on my shoulder.

I ran a hand through his hair and we just stared at the sun setting off in the distance. 

"How did I get so lucky?" Levi turned his head to look up at me and gave me a questioning look.

"To have you in my life." Levi chuckled and moved his head so he was looking back out at the scenery. 

"I think you may have that wrong bright eyes." It was my turn to look at him curiously as he sat up straight.

"It was me who was lucky enough to have you." I smiled and Levi leant in to place a slow and soft kiss on my lips. 

He pulled back leaning his forehead against mine and stared at me before closing his eyes.

"I swear I'm the luckiest man on earth. I love you Eren." I slid my head down to place it on his shoulder.

"I love you too Levi." 

This is how our day would end. Full of bliss and we would go to bed with no worries. 

To be honest...at one point in my life art was the only thing I could turn to. The only thing I could count on because it was something I got to create and it made me feel better.

Now that Levi is by my side and he has been by it through the bad times and the good. I'd have to say that he is now my only escape.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ha ha I know great ending sentence amiright

**Author's Note:**

> So this is a fic that just came to me when I was bored. I don't have a planned story line except for making it up as I go. So if anyone has ideas feel free to comment also if there are any mistakes don't hesitate in letting me know :)


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